His own little hell
by OneStepInc
Summary: Everyone believes that David Karofsky is just an ignorant bully, but maybe...maybe there is more to him then meets the eye.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Dave waited impatiently by at the locker for his target. Class was starting soon and though he didn't like the class, he knew that if he didn't go he wouldn't get the extra credit, and there would be a chance he could be kicked off the football team. To pass the time he fiddled with his letterman jacket, first picking at the patches, and then pulling on loose threads. Where was his target?

"Hey man, whatchu doing over here?" asked Azimio, Dave's best friend. Dave shrugged and put on his hardest face, the face he used to terrify people. Making a wall between him and Azimio.

"Waiting" he answered.

"For what?" This time Dave didn't answer, he just keeps his eyes focused on the hallway in front of him. He was sure any minute now his target would come strutting down the hall the way they always did and he would make his move. He would show how strong and manly he was.

"Excuse me..." asked a freshman girl, standing behind Azimio impatiently.

"What do you want?" Dave growled, flexing his biceps and glowering at her.

"You-you-you're standing in front of my locker s-sir. C-can I please put my stuff i-in it?" The little girl trembled all over with fear of what the mega jock would do to her if she upset him. David Karofsky had a reputation for not caring about who he beat up, and for what reason he did.

"This is your locker?"

"Come on man, she says it's her locker, let's get the hell out of here and get to class."

"Y-yes" Dave pondered this. No, this had to be the target's locker. He had been coming here every day for at least a year to show them the error of their ways. He couldn't have screwed this up this had to be...

"Whatever, come man let's go" Dave hit Azimio's arm and started walking down the hall towards his class, not bothering to apologise to the freshman.

"What was that all about dude?" Azimio asked, hurrying to catch up with him.

"Nothing" but it wasn't nothing; Dave felt anger building up inside him, the kind of anger that made his whole body numb. The kind that made him scream on the inside. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, ignoring the grumbles of students behind him, and gave Azimio an ugly grin. "How 'bout we have some fun?"

"What exactly do you have in mind?" Mirroring Dave's expression.

"I'm thinking, it's about time we show the Hockey team that we're still tough. I think it's time to slushie some Glee kids."

"Hold up, now I'd love a good slushie toss, same as you...but you know Beiste would kill us. I mean after the last game she was all, you know, happy that we weren't trying to kill each other. Anyway, they aren't that bad, they're..."

"A bunch of faggots. You know it. Wearing makeup and dresses. It's ridiculous. Yeah that zombie thing was kind of cool, but they're still a bunch of pussies and freaks." Hitting Azimio in the arm "Or are you saying you're one of them. Hey Az, you saying you're one of those homos too?"

"I ain't no homo! You know that. I just don't see the point. They aren't doing anything weird, or gay." Dave put his face as close as he could to Azimio's.

"They are weird just by existing; it isn't normal what they do. I say we slush them." Looking hard at Dave, Azimio agrees.

"Who do we tag, how 'bout Finn man."

"No, I say we slime that blonde fairy Sam."

"When?"

"Now."

Shoulder to shoulder they walked down the hallway, feeling the urge to release some of his anger; Dave slammed a passerby into a locker and sneered. He could feel the anger inside him trickling away but not leaving, and he could feel a warm sensation of victory. But deep in the middle of all these feelings, he felt a hole, where his target, his Kurt, was missing.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The bottle of Hennessy pulled his fist down to the floor even though (or more likely because) it was empty.

David Karofsky had been drinking for a long time now, long enough to know that he was drunk. His eyes were spinning so much that the other empty bottles of booze seemed to make a whirl pool of green, brown, red, and black. More than anything he wanted to take a long nap and wait for the side effects to wear off then throw out every single stashed bottle in the room, but he couldn't do that. He needed to become numb. Not the numbness of the anger. That was scary, like he was morphing into something different, something worse than what he was. The booze made him feel like he was void of all the things that made him want to disappear, leaving only the things he enjoyed about himself. Every sip took away something small, slowly he said goodbye to the things that made him scared and alone. Drink. Goodbye awkward feet. Drink. Goodbye fumble. Drink. Goodbye pudginess. Drink. Goodbye ...he couldn't even bring himself to think it.

Reaching into the safe he kept in his room Dave pulled out another bottle and popped the lid off. He took another gulp of the amber liquid and felt the most hated part of himself disappear. He grinned a drunken grin and laid himself on the shag carpet of his room. The room whirled around like a merry-go-round. He was free to be the amazing right guard, strong, smart guy he was. Unable to put the bottle to his mouth anymore he closed his eyes and let his mind wander. He imagined he was straight, holding the hands of a beautiful blonde (maybe Quinn), walking down the halls like a star with no looks of disgust or hate. He was better looking too, sculpted. He imagined himself looking a little more like Finn or Sam. He was quarterback too, with a great head of hair and a trophy in his hands. On the walls of the school were his photos with text about how smart he was, how talented he was. His dad waiting at the end of the hall, ready to embrace him, his mom was there too, hugging his dad, smiling at him.

"David? David are you home?" He heard his father yelling from the front door. He was often glad that his room was on the second floor of the house, that way it was harder for his father to come find him like this. He could barely lift his head let alone walk down the stairs to see his father, and he didn't want him coming up to see him and all the bottles of alcohol so he stayed silent. "David?"

Dave heard the stomping of feet, the opening of the refrigerator, the clink of bottles, and the pop of the lid of a bottle of beer, a sound he knew too well. His father was probably taking a break before going into his office and beginning his work. He often told Dave that 'he had more work at home than he had at work' being a lawyer. He was constantly pouring over notes, cases, mugs of coffee and beer forever taking up space on the desk. He could imagine, even in his state, the look on his father's face as he scrunched up and frustrated as he gave his heart and soul into his work. Trying his best to forget about anything else but work, anything that didn't matter.

Not that his father didn't help him out a lot. When he had been expelled from school, he remembered his father turning to him and saying 'there was no way we were going to win that fight David, it's much better to wait and deal with the school board. I'll handle it don't worry, you just have to straighten out, you understand? You have to straighten this out or there will be serious consequences do you understand me? You think you get it now, just wait if I find out that this is still going on. I'm tired of your shit David. This is it.'

He remembered seeing his father's face when he came into the school, the stern look that could turn any minute into rage or humility. He could see how ashamed he was to have to take off work to come down and speak to the principal. How ashamed that he wasn't doing better at school. Ashamed that he was his son.

"This isn't fucking working" he grumbled to himself. He could feel all the things he hated about himself jamming themselves back into his body, filling him with utter hate and scorn. As always his father was ruining his buzz. No that was wrong. He was ruining his own buzz, by being himself. He could feel himself tear up with anger. "I will not cry, I will not fucking cry. Crying is for homos. I'm not a homo, I'm not a homo, I'm not a homo" he repeated to himself over and over. Trying to convince himself. He could feel his body loosening up and knew that he would have to go down and face his father. To at least acknowledge him. His father liked that, it made him feel important.

"Paul, yo Paully! Hey brother were art thou and shit" Suddenly Dave's eyes opened with fear and he sat up as fast as he could, causing himself to get dizzy. Struggling, he lifted himself up and began quickly hiding all the empty bottles, and the safe. His Uncle Jake was here.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Just as he had hidden the last bottle away he heard the door to his room crash open. "Well hello there Davey Boy, how are you doing this fine evening?" Dave spun around to look at the tall, clean shaven man that stood in his doorway.

Unlike his brother, Jake Karofsky was lean, with fierce features rather than the soft, round features of his brother. His brown hair was cut short, closely resembling a crew cut. The only feature he and his brother shared was the sharp eyes that noticed any movement and any change in expression. He crossed the small room to where Dave was standing within a matter of seconds, his long legs striding powerfully. He glared at Dave, taking him in slowly, his face a stone. Then, a smile erupted on the man's face and he grabbed Dave and embraced him. "How's the football player?"

"Fine Uncle Jake, I'm just fine."

"God, you stink, you been hanging out in the sewer or something, you smell like me after a hard day's work in the plant" he grinned sheepishly and grabbed Dave pulling him into a noogie, first rubbing softly then using all his strength. Dave could feel his head begin to burn with pain, but knew he couldn't say anything; he just took his punishment without a word. "So what are you doing up here?"

"Nothing, just taking a break."

"A break? What do you need a break for? I work my ass off all day and you don't see me lying around doing nothing do you? Breaks are for homos Dave, its Devil's time. Just like your Grandpa Murray says. Spare time is the Devil's time. You understand me David?" He stared at him with such intensity that Dave nodded, his body tingling with fear. He hated hearing about the Devil; he knew there were greater worries than being punished for taking a break. "I said do you understand me?"

"Yeah, Yeah I understand you Uncle Jake."

"Good, so how's football going?"

Dave sighed in relief that his Uncle didn't take it any further, telling him about the team victory and how awesome the team was. Giving him exact play by plays, telling him everything there was about the game, leaving out only the part about the zombie dancing, knowing all too well what his Uncle would think about that.

"If you were workin' out like I told you to, you and your team would be doing a heck of a lot better than this. What did I tell you about making sure you get your abs AND your arms. You need to run a couple more laps a day too; you're losing your muscle mass boy. It's one thing to be big; it's the next thing to be fat. You understand me?" Dave kept his face straight, and made sure his whole body was erect when he nodded.

"Yes Uncle Jake." His Uncle looked him over again, taking in everything about him. Dave tried not to breathe as he did this, he was sure that this time, this time he would be outed. His Uncle would see him for everything he truly was, and then tell his dad and his Grandpa. He knew that if he made a move, made a face, anything that didn't seem completely normal, his Uncle would see that and everything about his life would come tumbling down. "Your pops wants to see you down stairs. Why don't you come along? Then maybe I can show you a real work out."

"Okay, I just want to go to the bathroom first if you don't mind."

"Sure kid, see you downstairs."

His Uncle left the room, leaving the door open, and stomping downstairs. Dave let out a shaky breath, plopping himself upon his bed, and putting his head between his knees, trying to rid himself of all the trembling, and the dizziness. He wished he could reach into a crevice of his room and pull out another beer, but he didn't dare. He was only lucky his Uncle didn't completely understand why he smelled so odd, so bad.

Slowly he allowed himself to get up and go down the hall to the bathroom, turning on the radio loud so he could throw up without his father or his Uncle hearing it. The sound of My Chemical Romance bursting in his ears as he threw up some of the good feelings he felt from the beer. It didn't take long, to rid himself of the liquid. When he was done he looked at himself in the mirror critically. Once again he could see all his faults, he squinted his eyes, trying to find the him that he liked, but it seemed to have disappeared again. All he could see was the ham hock that everyone else saw. Taking another shaky breath he left the bathroom, taking the first steps down the stairs slowly.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

His father and his Uncle sat at the kitchen table talking when Dave came to join them. "I swear Pauly that kid smelt like a ... oh hey Davey! What took you so long, having a dump?" Dave cringed at the disgustingness of this comment, but let it roll of his back by shrugging his shoulders. He was use to this kind of talk at practice. Since he was a kid he had noticed that boys (especially sports guys) loved to talk about things that were awkward about the body. He reached inside the fridge, bypassing all the alcohol, and grabbing a soda. "You want to put all that sugar in your body, that's up to you." Dave looked at the soda with a frown and began to put it back, knowing what his Uncle was saying was true, before he could put it away though he felt a hard grip on his wrist. "No, you want it drink it, drink it. Drink all of it." They stared at each other for a moment. A fearful little boy, and a vengeful old man, the world seemed to silhouette behind their intensity. Slowly Dave opened the soda and took a drink, one big gulp, and then another. When the soda was finished Dave took the can and smashed it on his forehead, breaking the intensity as his Uncle laughed and gave him a hug. "My boy eh, that's my nephew! You see that Pauly?"

Dave's father smiled, gesturing that the two sit down at the table. Keeping his arm around Dave, Jake walked over to the table, both boys separating at the table to sit down, the tension of the room a mere memory.

"So, your dad was telling me that you've been having a bit of trouble at school buddy, what's been happening? Where did that smart ass brainiac go? He says you've been giving him some sass, is that right?"

"I-I, uh..." Dave stiffened his lip, his eyes narrowing like they did whenever he was bullying someone. "I was just being stupid that's all, it's all fine now. I'm getting A's again; it shouldn't do any permanent damage on my final grade."

"The point is, David, they shouldn't have been falling in the first place. What your Uncle and I are trying to understand is, is why this was happening in the first place." His father looked at him softly, the way he looked at a jury, pleading them to understand his side.

"It was just that kid...it was just, nothing. It was nothing" Dave mumbled.

"What was that about some kid? Is that, that queer god forsaking kid that you were talking about Pauly? The one that got Davey expelled?" His Uncle said spitting out the words queer as though they were nasty tasting cookies. He glared at Paul then Dave. "Well is it?"

"Yeah."

"Damn, that would creep me out too, havin' a fucking homo at my plant. They are pathetic. Rubbing their junk on other guys, sneaking peaks. Wasn't that kid on your team at one point Davey? You made sure you never dropped the soap didn't you? Nasty sinners those bitches are. I tell you. It's wrong and god will punish them for that sin severely. It's like your Grandpa Murray said isn't it? All those sinners will atone for their sin, one way or another." His Uncle cracked his knuckles loudly, and then made a fist. "I'd like to show them the light of God if you know what I mean. You showed him a piece of the Fury didn't you Davey?" Dave nodded, smiling to show his Uncle he agreed with everything he said. His heart dropping with the sudden conversation change.

"Well Jake, I know that it is wrong, but it was also wrong for David to treat the kid like that. He just needs to ignore him. Pretend he isn't there, get on with his life. Not that it matters now. Burt had his kid transfer from McKinley to some other school." Dave his heart plummet even more with the mentioning of Kurt.

"Burt Hummel? It's Burt Hummel's kid? I never thought a kid of Burt's would be queer that's for damn sure. Well I'll tell you, I ain't brining my truck to him anymore. If I see him around town..." he shook his fist in fury. "I'm telling you Davey, you stay away from those homos. You'll get infected with their homo disease, then next thing you know you'll be molesting little kids, and doing heroin. Wearing a skirt and all that shit. It's no good I tell you. The work of the Devil, that is. I swear if I had a boy that was queer; I'd beat him five times a boy, good and hard to make sure the gay comes out of him. Make him read the bible too, read it every day, and memorize it too, if not kill him."

"Now Jake, that is a little harsh don't you think? As long as we let them do their business..."

"You're being too soft on them Paul, this ain't kindergarten stuff. It's an epidemic. You ain't gay are you David?" Dave shook his head fiercely. Fear flooding through him.

"Of course he isn't Jake, don't be silly. David would never be in that kind of thing. He's a good boy."

His Uncle looked at him, making sure to keep eye contact, as though he was searching his very soul. Then he smiled, banging his fist upon the table. "That's right. Davey's a good boy, my kind of man. Football man. Come out football man, let's go practice." Dave sighed, another day to live.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Dave woke with a start, dripping with a cold sweat. His face furrowed with the daze confusion of just waking up. He rubbed his hand on his forehead, trying to wipe away the last traces of the dream, the nightmare he had just had. The darkness of the early morning making every sound, and every object in the room seem ten times creepier. He looked at the clock on his bedside table, it was only 3:00am, he didn't need to be up for another two hours. Trying to calm himself down he took a deep breath, then sank back into his pillow. He didn't know why he was so afraid. It wasn't like his family could see his dreams, they would never know about this, yet it still scared him that they might find out the sick things he imagined in the dead of night, and then there would be hell to pay.

It started with him imagining making the winning goal in hockey, then making the winning touchdown in football right after. He could hear everyone cheering and screaming his name. Flowers rained down on him from the stands and women were swooning at his feet. His face had a full grin and he was pumping his fist in the air, but something was missing. The dream him walked to the locker room, taking off his jersey and sitting on the bench. He put his head in his hands, trying to figure out what was missing, when he heard a crash. Looking up he saw a boy with golden brown hair, perfectly styled standing at the door, staring right at him. His green/blue eyes like part of the ocean, warm one minute and cold the next, glaring at him. He wore a red and black tie with a white dress shirt perfectly pressed. Walking with swing in his hips the boy walked over to him, keeping his eyes on him only. Dream Dave felt a pit forming in his stomach from fear. He tried to move but his feet wouldn't allow him to get up. He was trapped, unable to shield himself from the upcoming attack.

"I've been looking for you. You think you can just hide in here and I'll just forget about it and leave you alone. Well that may work for you brainless, Neanderthals but I'm not going to give up that easy!"

His voice shook as he spoke: "What do you want Kurt?"

"I want to know why you didn't follow me, why you sat here and did nothing to stop me when I went to Dalton. Did you think I would just disappear? That if you just closed your eyes and pretended I never existed that the gay would go away? Well guess what, I'm still here! I'm still here, and I'm still gay! Nothing is going to change that, especially some leatherhead with personal hygiene issues."

"Why did you come back?"

"Because I wanted to give you back something. I don't want any of your personal belongings, especially this one" Kurt leaned into Dave, his eyes never leaving his. He put his hand on Dave's shoulder innocently, coming so close that Dave could smell the mint and coffee on his breath. Suddenly they were kissing, Kurt's soft lips so sweet that Dave didn't know what to do. At first he just sat there, afraid to move, then he too began to kiss back. The sensation he felt rippled through his skin in a combination of joy and panic. He wanted to push him away like he had him, but couldn't. Every part of him burned for different reasons, some with lust, and some with agony.

The kiss seemed to do the impossible, being too short and too long at the same time. For a while all they could do was stare at each other, trying to find the words to say. He realised only then that the only thing he could do was sing. Sing his feelings, just like they did in Glee club. He held Kurt's hand and smiled at him.

"_When I first saw you, I said oh my. That's my dream. That's my dream. I needed a dream when it all seemed to go bad, then I found you, and I have had the most beautiful dreams any man's ever had."_

He couldn't finish though, as he reached the end of the verse he saw in the corner of his eye a tall, clean shaven man, staring at him with such hate he could feel it from across the room. He tried to let go of Kurt's hand but Kurt held on with a tight grip. "That was beautiful Karofsky; I didn't know you could sing like that." Before he could protest, Kurt's lips were on him again, still soft and sweet, but no longer as enjoyable as he saw the man walk towards them.

"All those sinners will atone for their sin, one way or another."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"KAROFSKY!"

"Yes Coach Beiste?" Dave asked, running towards the large, intimidating woman that scared him more than Coach Tanaka ever did.

"What was that? You let Puckerman slam Hudson, were you even paying attention?"

"I didn't see him come up." Dave yelled back, knowing what her response would be. Coach Beiste entered Dave's personal space and stared him in the eye.

"You're right guard Karofsky! Either start paying attention or get the hell off my field, you understand me?"

"Yes Coach."

"Good, now I don't want to see that happen again. Get out there."

It wasn't a good morning. With the little sleep Dave had gotten, his whole body felt as though he was running with huge cinderblocks tied to his ankles while midgets beat him with wooden clubs. That was no excuse though. As much as he tried to excuse himself everywhere else, he knew this was the place where he needed to step up and be a man, especially after the zombie incident. He knew he needed to stop making excuses, at least on the football field.

"Seriously Karofsky where are you?" Finn spat at him. Finn looked at Dave with a mixture of annoyance and disgust. He was still angry about what happened the day after the game. Dave knew that Finn was angry at him for not apologising to Kurt, and not joining Glee club.

"Yeah Karofsky, what were you doing during that time, picking the flowers?" Puck growled, looking ready for a fight, even in the early morning before school.

"Is that what you Glee kids do Puckerman? Frolic through the flowers, singing songs about butterflies? No wonder your tackles are so pathetic. What do you expect to do, sing the competition anyway?" Dave scoffed, beating himself for rising to the well deserved jabs. Puck wound his arm into a punch, launching himself in the direction of Dave. The rest of the Glee-Ballers held Puck back, while Dave's friends shielded him from the upcoming attack. Dave laughed without humour. Pretending to find the whole situation unthreatening.

"Forget about him! Let's just get this practice over with." Finn said, glaring at Dave as though forgetting about this was the last thing he really wanted to do. They let Puck go and they all started going back to their positions, the tension still lingering in the air. Puck menacingly stepped towards Dave, than left him alone.

"Seriously though man, what the hell was that? I thought we'd gotten over fighting on the field." Azimio asked. Dave just shook his head; not wanting to talk about his reasons for started an unwanted fight once again. In reality he didn't even know why, he just did and only after speaking did he realise how stupid he was being. It seemed as though he didn't have a filter on what he said, he couldn't sort out what was appropriate and what wasn't.

Trying to redeem himself without words he got himself into position. He heard Finn calling out, and heard the snap of the ball. He focused all his energy on the opposing practice team, pretending they weren't really his fellow Titans. His eyes zeroed in on his target, and tackled him with all his might as he ran towards Finn. He heard the whistle, and a bunch of cheering on his side. "That's better Karofsky!" He heard Beiste scream. "Keep it up!"

Finishing up with practice they all walked towards the locker room. Everyone trying to talk over each other until Dave wondered how anybody could hear anything anyone was saying. He laughed with his boys, smiling and chatting just as loudly as everyone else. This was the part of his day he loved the best. He could be a hotshot football player, keep his head high, and hold himself like hero.

While they all got changed Dave talked to Strando about the book they were reading in English, and how both boys thought it was the most boring thing in the world.

"I mean, how they expect us to read some stupid book about some chick that falls in love with some dude then stuff happens. I mean, couldn't we have read something a little more epic?"

"I hear you man" added Azimio, putting his cleats into his locker. "The only reason I stay awake during that class is because of Sarah Weams."

"Oh my god yeah, she is so freaking hot, I'd like to nail he right there, in the classroom. With everyone watching I don't even care. She is so fine." Strando made movements with his pelvis and swung his hand back and forth. The other guys laughed and threw their shirts at him rolling their eyes, but nodding in agreement.

"She's in my chemistry class, and I swear I am totally failing that class because of her. She sits next to me. I'm lucky that she spends all her time looking at the board, or she'd think I have some drooling problem." Nick laughed, packing up his things.

"What about you Karofsky, what do you think about Sarah?" asked Strando. Dave fiddled with his lock, unsure of what to say.

"Uh, she's okay. I think her friend Carla is way hotter though, I mean did you see the rack on her? Man, if I didn't wear baggy pants..." the other boys laughed and patted him on the shoulder as they left the locker room, but Dave stayed for a moment. For a second he thought of telling the guys he considered his brothers that in truth, he actually thought Sarah's boyfriend Dan was really good looking, but he shook that thought from his head immediately. He did not think Dan was attractive, he was not gay.

He left the locker room ashamed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Though the general public seemed to think differently, he had always been smart in school, once again breaking the typical jock stereotype. School never seemed hard for him; he could memorize dates of historic events just as well as he could memorize football plays. Sometimes he wondered how the other guys could do so well on the field, and so terribly off it. All they needed to do was take the dedication they had for football into Shakespeare and they would all be geniuses, well...most of them.

"Dude how do you conjugate Hola?"

"You don't have to man, do you conjugate Hello?"

"Oh...right?"

"Karofsky, Daniels, do you have something you wish to discuss with the class?" Mr Schuester asked, folding his arms across his chest in front of the blackboard. Mr. Shue had a way of making you feel guilty, yet not bad about yourself, like you did something wrong, but you can change it.

"No, sir" Nick Daniels murmured, putting his head down, pretending he was concentrating hard on his work.

"What about you Karofsky? Is there anything you'd like to say?" Dave could feel something building up inside him, he tried to stop it but it came out anyway.

"Yeah, I was wondering if you were going to sing to us in Spanish Mr. Schuester, you could bring your little Glee clubbers in and teach us the Capitals of Spanish speaking countries. Wouldn't that be closer to your expertise?" Dave slapped his own head, lately he seemed to be worse than usual.

"Very funny David, tell you what, if you want you can stand up here and sing for all your classmates. Well...is there anything you want to say?" Dave clenched his jaw and stared at the wall, not wanting to look at Mr. Schuester. "Aww, well that is a shame, maybe another time?"

The rest of the class went pretty smoothly, he didn't bother looking at anyone, and refused to talk to anyone. It was easier this way, and allowed him to concentrate on the work. He really did like learning Spanish, though it wasn't one of his best subjects and he had to work extra hard on it. He had a hard time with pronunciation, and Mr. Schuester always seemed to make him say the words he had to most difficulty with. It made him feel stupid, having to talk slow and pronouncing the words like he was deaf.

"Oh my god, I wonder if Karofsky is even passing this class, do you think he even knows that he's taking Spanish right now." He heard a girl giggle from behind him; he clenched his teeth harder and zeroed in on his paper as though it was a player from a rival team that he needed to get out of the way.

"Probably not, did you hear the way he said television, I swear he said it television, no accent at all, and don't get me started on when he tried to say microwave, I swear you should have been here, it was hilarious!"

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I missed it! Ugh I always miss the best things." The girls giggled away while Dave cringed, he had thought he was getting better. The fact that people were actually making fun of how bad he was worried him. He couldn't have people laughing at him behind his back, it just couldn't happen. It meant that they could be saying anything about it; it meant he could be a loser. There was no way he could be a loser, all he had was his popularity, his cred. Every insult seemed to bring him back to Glee Club, and Kurt.

After class he gathered his books as quickly as he could, racing to get out of the room and show the school how strong he was. He was trying to figure out what he would do when he felt a hand on his shoulders. He whipped around shaking the hand off, and turning to find out who its owner was. "David I'd like to speak with you."

Dave followed Mr. Schuester to his desk, nervous about the talk. He didn't like talking to Mr. Schuester, especially after class. It worried him that people might think that if he was talking to Mr. Schue, that he might be in Glee, and if he was in Glee, people might wonder if he was...something else.

"Listen Mr. Schuester, I'm sorry about the comment okay, and I'll work harder at my vocab work. Can I go; I'm going to be late for class." Mr. Schue shook his head and motioned for Dave to sit down, he didn't, preferring to tower over his teacher, rather than be towered over.

"You're a smart kid David, other than a little difficulty you're doing really well. You're not usually this disrespectful; I just want to know if everything is all right?" Dave stared past him. He wanted to disappear into the wall, he wanted to disappear period. He hated all the pressure on him, and...

"I'm fine. Sorry."

"Alright, I guess you better get going to your class." As Dave started to walk out of the he heard Mr. Schuester yell out to him "You should really think about joining Glee Club David. I think you'd really like it." Dave looked around the hall to see if anyone heard this. No one seemed to but just in case he said.

"Not in this lifetime."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

At the McDonald's Dave and some of the guys from his football team dove into fries, burgers, and well...anything they could get their hands on with the money in their pocket. Dave himself was finishing off his second Big Mac and was starting thinking of going for a third. He loved McDonald's and made it a priority to go there as often as he could. It made him feel like those guys on television, the cool kids that everyone idolised with perfect hair. Not that he noticed their hair or anything; he had heard girls talking about that or something. Just like the boys on T.V they threw fries at each other, laughed loudly at stupid jokes, whistled at girls, and ate like animals.

"Geez, I don't know if I can eat anymore guys, I full" said John, a lean looking kicker with brown hair. He pulled on his loose pants, showing his grey plaid boxers, and started to undo his belt.

"No one wants to see you Lil' John, keep it in your pants you nasty..." Azimio laughed slapping him on the head. The guys laughed, all throwing more fries and ketchup packets at John. He smiled and rolled his head, putting his hand on the back of the booth and standing up on the seat.

"You sure, I know you fairies would love to see my schlong?" He asked, starting to pull his pants down.

"Hey! You stop that right now or get out of the restaurant you hear me?" Yelled the manager, growling as John slipped back into his seat, smiling triumphantly.

"What's up Karofsky? You don't think my little stunt was funny?"

While all the other guys were laughing, Dave was grimacing into his food, a burger halfway in his mouth. He put it down, still looking down at it. He didn't want to say it made him uncomfortable talking about being fairies, and taking off pants. It was never like this when they were changing for football, everything was professional. This made him have a weird feeling in his stomach, like someone was mocking him.

"Maybe Karofsky wants to see your junk, ay Karofsky...you want to see John's junk?" Dave pushed up from the table, shaking the table a bit. He flipped the fries up in the air in anger, allowing them to fall where they may, not bothering to be sorry for whoever had to clean that up. He grabbed John by the shirt, pulling him past Strando and Nick, landing him on his feet in from of him. Then, with a mighty slam of his palms, he pushed him onto the cold floor of the McDonald's. Then he reached for the guy who made the comment, a guy named Tim, lifting him up in the air by his collar.

"No I'm disgusted. Only idiots and queers try to show their junk in public, it's disgusting, do you understand? It's pathetic, and it makes me sick." He screamed at the guy, his face splotchy from rage. When he was through he threw the guy like a ragdoll back into his seat. He could see John struggling to get back up, trying to find a place to put his hand, and attempting to untangle his foot from the 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign.

"Relax man, it's only a joke." Azimio said, getting up from the booth to put him hand on Dave's shoulder. Dave flipped it off but calmed down. Allowing himself to breathe and clear his head. He looked around the restaurant at the shocked faced of the people around him. Not just the guys around him but the families and the other students that were there too. It was so quiet that you could hear a feather drop. Embarrassment flooded him, and regret settled in.

John got up from the floor and walked up to Dave, his face white with shock from the attack. He stammered an "I'm sorry" at Dave, while Dave muttered an apology back.

"So who's got any more money? I think we spilt the last of our food on the floor here." The guys laughed again and the whole place seemed to animate again. They all knew it was almost time to go back to school so each of them grabbed their bags and started for the door. Dave could feel the hands of his teammates and friends on his shoulder as they left the restaurant and the sound of the manager's sigh of relief at their exit.

Dave knew that the guys had already forgotten the incident. They were so use to solving their problems with a fist to the face that no one really took note of it anymore. They never doubted for a moment that Dave was disgusted with the display, and didn't think anything else of it, but as they walked to their cars Dave thought about it long and hard. He felt bad for causing such a scene. He knew it was uncalled for, but he couldn't help it. Those words, even though they weren't true, made him feel the numbness. No, he didn't want to see John's junk, but the question made him wonder, why did it send shivers down his spin when the idea was mentioned, and how could he stop the feelings coming over him when he thought of the answer?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

There was only one place in town that Dave could get beer without running into parents, or teachers, or getting carded. If he drove out far enough there was a little independent shop owned by a crazy old redneck that had a shot gun under the counter, and only enough teeth to bite down on coins given to him by customers.

Dave parked his truck in front of the store, leaving the keys inside it. He wasn't really worried about it being stolen up here, and he would only be inside, a mere running distance from pounding anyone who tried. He also took of his varsity jacket. While the owner never carded him, he was pretty sure it was because he looked at least old enough to buy beer. With his high school jacket on, he was positive he would never get away with it.

He walked into the store, hearing the tinkling of bells as the door hit them. The inside of the store smelled of wood and old tobacco leaves. The owner was sitting on a stool, polishing his long gun, not bothering to look up as a customer came in. Dave was use to this and quickly moved to the coolers. There were many different kinds of beer; he usually just bought the kind he always bought. Two 12 packs of Hennessey, and a bottle of vodka. This time however he was unsure, should he be adventurous and try something new? Maybe another kind of beer would work better than what he had been trying? He reached out for some girly looking pink drink that looked like it might taste good, but he stopped. He then looked at the hard core booze he saw his Uncle Jake drink when he had a drink, but he couldn't grab those either. His mind raced from one drink to the other, he looked at other drinks too. All of them were either too fruity looking, or too dangerous looking. None of them seemed to have a happy medium; none of them seemed to want to be the best of both worlds. Frustrated he grabbed his usual. It was safer anyway; at least he was comfortable with this drink. It may not be the best, and he knew that, but it was easy, and he liked it well enough.

He lifted the drinks up to the counter and the old man looked up at him. "Will that be all?" he asked, still rubbing his gun with a cloth. Dave nodded and pulled out his money, he already knew how much the total was. He placed the money on the counter, and the old man counted it from afar. "That seems right, alright...goodbye." He gave him one last look then went back to his polishing.

Dave threw the beer into the backseat and hid it under his backpack, and a large blanket he kept back there. Then he got in the front seat and gripped the wheel, but didn't go anywhere. It was during these trips to the beer store that he could just be alone, with no pretences, no act, and no thoughts. It wasn't going to last, but it was better than nothing.

When he eventually started the car, he drove slowly. He wasn't ready to go home yet, and he certainly didn't have anywhere else to go tonight. There were parties going on but he didn't want to go, and couldn't. His Uncle would be over and he had to be home for him, it wasn't an option.

As he drove he passed Dalton Academy, the large building seemed to be trying to coax him into going over. It was a beautiful school, if you were a third party objector, or a fan of the school, but Dave hated Dalton Academy. He hated its name, he hated its looks, he hated its students, he hated its anti-bullying policies, but most of all he hated one particular student.

Dave couldn't remember his name, or even if he had learnt his name, but he remembered meeting him. The way he looked made him mad, the way he talked made him mad, they way he walked, the way he smelled, the way he acted so superior and so humble at the same time, the way Hummel, the way Kurt looked at him. That made him want to rip his face off. He remembered being cornered by them on the stairs outside while he was on his way to class. Trying to get him to admit something that wasn't true, that couldn't be true. He remembered how scared he was when Kurt said "You kissed me" with all those students around. Even months later he wondered if anyone heard that, if anyone believed that. That guy just wouldn't quit, he remembered getting so angry, so scared, that he pushed him against the metal fence that stopped students from falling to their deaths on the stairs. When he ran off, he remembered freaking out so bad he didn't go to his class. All he wanted them to do was stop talking, stop mentioning being ...like them, and the way Kurt defended him. It gave him a feeling that he had never had before, it made him want to sit down and think, about himself, and he hated them for it.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Where the hell were you?" asked Uncle Jake, standing in the kitchen with a bottle in his hand, and book in the other. He stared at Dave with his eyebrow raised, waiting for him to say something. Dave rubbed his thumb and pointer finger together, not looking his Uncle in the eye. "Well...you just going to stand there like a deaf retard or are you going to answer me boy?"

"I stayed late at school, I went to the arena to practice some shots. I've been focusing too much on football; I thought I would work on my hockey skills." He gulped as he said this, realizing right away this was not the best excuse.

"You're still playing hockey? I thought I told you that it was a faggy sport. The closest sport to figure skating it is, men are not suppose to spin around on skates like they are in the fuckin' ice capades. Football is the only real sport these days, that and baseball. You ever think of trying out for baseball Davey?" Dave shook his head; he didn't have the build for baseball anyway. Most of the guys he knew that were on the baseball team were lean, usually tall, with great arm muscles. His Uncle sucked his teeth and shook his head in disappointment. "Well you could damn try kid. Scouts look for an all around sportsman. I mean, they will even see you being in that stupid hockey team as a good thing. I don't see why you wouldn't go out for all the sports, your just being lazy that's what it is. Did your dad ever tell you that I was in every single sport team when I was in high school...?" Dave stopped listening. The only thing to do during one of his Uncle's rants was to wait till it was over. He had heard this story before anyway, a hundred times actually.

Instead he thought about the packs of beer in his car. He hadn't brought them in because his Uncle's car was already here, and his Uncle usually stayed until late at night. He only had a couple bottles upstairs, and he wanted, he needed more than that. He couldn't let his Uncle see it, and he definitely couldn't let his dad see it. He could always just deal with everything tonight, just for one night, than get it tomorrow, but the deep pit in his stomach said he needed to get rid of some pain now, not later.

"I could've been great, I could've been a millionaire, you could be too Davey if you got off your ass sometime and did some actual work. You need to put your heart into it, you never seem like you're all there Davey, you have to put everything into it. Everything you hear me?"

"Yeah Uncle Jake, I hear you." He wanted to say that he couldn't give everything in him, and that if he did give everything he was, his Uncle would like that even less.

"Can you guys keep it down please; I am working on a case." He heard his dad yell from the other room. Both Uncle Jake and Dave looked over to where the voice was coming from.

"Pauly, why don't you come out and have a beer with me buddy?"

"I'm working Jake; I don't have the time for socialization." Then his father murmured something about blue collar jobs, and how he didn't have time. His Uncle's face hardened and Dave knew he should get out of there before his Uncle exploded.

"You know Paul; I haven't seen you with a woman in years. You using your job as a way of disguising something? You have something to tell me and your son here...huh? You queer Paul?" Dave stopped in his tracks; now that he was involved in this he couldn't go anywhere. He turned around and stared back at the place where his Uncle stood.

"Jake I don't have time for this nonsense okay? You know as well as I do that I am not a homosexual, I just do not have time to go out, just like I do not have time to listen to you right now. So can you please entertain yourself with something else?" His Uncle snorted and took another drink from the bottle in his hand, emptying it of its contents, then throwing it at Dave's feet, the bottle breaking into a thousand pieces. He swaggered around the glass over to where Dave stood, and slapped him over the head with the book in his hand.

"Clean that up Davey, like the good house wife you are huh? Is that what you are for your dad now that your mom's gone, his housewife? You're getting good at it too...too good." His Uncle stood as close as he could to Dave "Step through it and get the broom housewife." Dave took a deep breath and walked through it, ignoring the pieces that jabbed through his socks. He went into the kitchen where the brooms were kept, grabbed one, and then opened the fridge to get his Uncle another drink. "Don't worry Davey, I'm not staying tonight, I am just dropping something off." Dave went into the hall and swept up the glass, his Uncle put the book down on a table near the door and left, without another word. After he was done Dave went over to the table, and picked up the book. His heart went into his throat when he read the title: The Holy Bible.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Sometimes when Dave was really drunk he liked to go on the internet. He would listen to music and search the web for information about whatever entered his mind. At the moment he was looking up pictures of jet packs, and information about how to build one. He wasn't too sure, but he thought that the instructions might be fake, I mean, how could powder of unicorn horn power a jetpack. Everyone knew that unicorn powder was used for making coke.

Something, an idea, started stirring in his brain. He went to Google and typed in "Homosexuality". He giggled slightly as he took a drink from his eighth beer. The first page was Wikipedia and he pressed on the link and began reading. "Homosexuality is romantic and/or sexual attraction or behaviour among members of the same sex or gender" he laughed at its simple definition, and that fact it didn't say anything about being a freak of nature. He continued reading "it also refers to an individual's sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviours expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them." He laughed again finishing off the eighth and starting the ninth. A "community of others who share them", he imagined himself hanging out with guys with limp wrists, pink shirts, and highlights talking about clothes and shoes, and snapping their fingers, calling each other girlfriend. He couldn't imagine himself doing that, he was a man's man. He liked football, and fighting, and...well...other things. He couldn't seem to think of anything else he liked at the moment. He waved his wrist around, giggling each time he did, it felt weird to him to do it, and he stopped.

He went back to the search page and looked up The Bible and Homosexuality. He came across a lot of links, but one caught his eye. It was a blog, ranting about a person's feelings about homosexuality. Dave didn't read it all but as he was diving into his tenth bottle he scanned the words. He saw "sin", "devil", "AIDS", "eternal fire", "whips", "horrible", "disgusting", "a choice". Unlike the Wiki page, this gave him a horrible feeling in the middle of his stomach. The kind that made him hate himself. He quickly finished off the drink in his hand and went for another. He switched his computer off without shutting it down properly.

Dave went into his bedside table and took out a playboy that his Uncle had bought him when he turned thirteen. He flipped through it, trying as hard as he could to be attracted to one of the women in there. He wanted more than anything to feel something downstairs when looking at the almost naked women inside the magazine named "Angel" and "Sugar" but no matter what kind of girl it was, he just wasn't feeling anything. He tried to convince himself it was just because none of the girls were attractive enough for him, that as soon as he found the right girl he would go crazy for her, and then his little Karofsky would march to attention for her, but he was starting to worry.

He thought about Kurt as he threw the magazine back into the stand. He remembered how he felt when he was around. Was that what arousal and attraction was suppose to be? He knew now he had to admit to himself what he had been avoiding since the day they fought. He had kissed Kurt...it wasn't the other way around. No matter how many times he tried to turn it around in his head, he knew the truth was it was him that kissed Kurt, and it was him that tried to kiss him again. The only problem was he didn't understand why. Why did he want to kiss Kurt, he hated Kurt. Kurt was a silly little fag that dressed like a girl, and sang in the Glee Club. He was the opposite of Dave in so many ways, everything that Dave hated, but he wanted to kiss him. It made his head hurt, trying to figure this out. He knew he was on to something, but he was worried that he wouldn't like the answer. He thought about that blog talking about the eternal fire, he didn't want to be punished for eternity, and he didn't want to be ridiculed at school. If he was ...if he was like Kurt he wouldn't last a day. There would be nowhere he could hide. He was sure the Glee kids wouldn't show him any sympathy, and he knew he didn't deserve it. If he was like Kurt they would be right with everyone else, laughing at him. He would probably be kicked off the football team too; no one would want him around. All his friends would abandon him, and would probably beat him up too. Then word would go around and reach his Uncle. That was the most terrifying thought of all. He didn't know what his dad would say, but it wouldn't be good. He would be alone in the world if he was like Kurt.

Before he knew it, the whole pack was done, and before he could pass out he had one last thought. He wondered what Kurt would say to him if he told him...


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Dave woke up with a splitting headache. From the sea of bottles on the ground he knew he had, had way too much to drink last night. He could feel himself ready to vomit and rushed to the bathroom as quick as he could. Luckily his dad had already left for work because he didn't have time to turn the music on. It seemed to go on forever, by the time he was finished he whole body was shaking. He was seriously contemplating not going to school today, just so he could get some rest. He knew he looked like shit, even worse than usual, and he didn't want to face the world like that.

He also had a lot of thinking to do. Though his head was foggy from the alcohol, but he vaguely recalled what happened. He remembered what he had come to terms with, and what he couldn't. He needed to sort out his thoughts, get everything straightened out.

He was feeling horrible about himself, he wanted to have another drink but he knew that was a bad idea. His stomach was empty and he was starving but he knew anything that went into his stomach would end up where the beer had gone. He was stuck. He didn't want to go to school.

In spite of all this he got up, went back to his room, and got changed. He picked a green and brown striped shirt, blue jeans, and his letterman jacket. Overall not very stylish, he smiled despite his general horrible feeling. He couldn't be playing for the other team, he was a horrible dresser.

He got his backpack, his keys, and a coffee for the road. He also grabbed some sunglasses so that hopefully no one could see that his eyes looked blood shot and weary. He didn't want to get sent to the principal's office, or worse the guidance office. Dave jumped in his car, started it up, and hit the road.

The fresh air from the outside made his head feel a little clearer, but only a little. He had so much on his mind he thought his head would explode. He couldn't shake the thoughts from last night, no matter what he did. As he drove closer to the school he started to panic, like he did when he started thinking about this subject. What if people know? What if people find out? No, no I'm not. What if people assume? I look like shit. What if people make fun of me for looking like this? What if people make fun of me for not having a girlfriend? What if a girl asks me out? No, no girl would ever ask you out. Do I want a girl to ask me out? I need to work out more. I need to work out less. My socks don't match my shirt. My eyes are too close together.

As he pulled into a spot in the school parking lot Dave took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was nothing he could do now but face the people at his school, and hope that if anything happened he would be able to handle it with a little bit of dignity.

He walked into the school with his head held high, his backpack hanging against one shoulder. He allowed himself to become the guy that people knew, the tough, mean guy that no one messed with. His face was a wall; he pushed some of the freshman out of his way as he walked to his locker.

"What's up with you Horatio Cane" laughed Azimio beside him as he opened his locker. "What are you going for the 'I'm so cool I wear sunglasses at night' kind of look, because if so...I don't think it works on you man."

"Very funny, I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Yeah, I'm sure. You're going to be fine for practice tonight right? We ain't gonna have to kick you to get you to move are we?" Dave laughed and shook his head, though to be honest he was worried about how he would perform today, he felt sick and confused.

"You okay man?"

"I'm fine man; I told you I just didn't get enough sleep. I'll be okay after I sleep through English" Dave lied, laughing and hitting Azimio's shoulder lightly. The boys laughed and walked towards their classrooms. For a moment he felt better about himself. He was on top of the school, hanging with the cool crowd. He didn't have anything to fear, Azimio would stand by him no matter what.

As they started to go their separate ways, Dave thought about telling him all that was going on in his head. All the worries and the ideas that made him want to disappear. He turned to Azimio to talk to him, opening his mouth to speak when his friend said.

"Seriously though man, you look kind of faggy with those on. I would take them off if I were you. That tired look is kind of rugged you know." Dave walked into his classroom, ripping the glasses from his face.


	13. Chapter 13: Different Perspective

Chapter 13: A Different point of view.

_**(A.N: Hey guys, gals, and undefined! I just want to warn you in advance that this chapter is very experimental. I would like your opinion on the effectiveness of this please. If you don't mind it I have a plan for other character input on Dave and a further development of plot, but if it doesn't work I'll figure out another way, Thank you so much for reading my story, even if you don't like it.)**_

Will Schuester had been teaching for a while, and though he would never know all the ins and outs of the teenage mind, he had gotten attuned to finding what he liked to call misfits.

Now people often misinterpreted his use of this word. He certainly didn't mean all of them were social outcasts, rejects, or unpopular. He had quite a few kids in his Glee Club that he would consider on top of the McKinley social ladder (not that he paid attention to that kind of thing he thought all the kids were special). What he meant by it though was the kids that were looking for something more, something more than the stereotypes and labels. Something like Glee Club.

He might have been bias because he had been in the Glee Club as a young man, but he thought it helped so much with feelings, and learning to accept yourself. He believed that if you could sing in front of people, give yourself completely in song, then you could be anything. That was what he thought when he saw David Karofsky, he was just a misfit who needed to open himself up, and sing out.

When David came in, rushing to his seat, pushing people aside. He saw a kid that was angry. He blamed himself for letting it go this far, David's anger. He had been so concerned with Kurt and how distraught he was about everything that he hadn't had a second thought about David. If he was being completely honest, he thought David was a big bully that needed to be knocked down a peg. He had been so horrible to Kurt, and Will was protective of his Glee Club students. David never seemed to feel any remorse or guilt for it either, at least none that he could see, but now that Kurt was gone, and the bullying was gone, he could see things clearer.

He looked at David from his desk. His face was like it always was, angry. He never seemed to change expressions, except when he was on his stage. He remembered seeing him dance like a zombie. He had become so into it he lost the expression he had now. That was the kind of thing Will loved as a teacher, seeing a spark in a student that they didn't see in themselves. He wanted more than anything to bring that spark back, get this mean, angry David away.

Today he looked really bad, his eyes were all red and blood shot. He made a mental note to talk to him during the work period. He went on with the class, talking about household objects. He never called on David though, he use to, when he thought the kid was (putting it lightly) a disrespectful little asshole with no clue about the Spanish language, but he had since then learned differently. The kid was smart, more than that the kid worked hard. When he got back an assignment he could tell the kind of work he put into it, but whenever he called on David he put on this stupid act, as though he was a meat-headed jock when really he was one of the smartest kids in the school. Maybe it was just him, but he didn't understand what acting stupid brought anyone, other than laughs.

"Okay class open your cuadarno to page 20 and do questions 1-16." The class groaned and he laughed. "I know, I know but it's easy stuff, and tell you what...you can work with a partner" he knew the kids would like this, and this way it would be loud enough that no one would hear when he was talking to David. He waited till they got good and comfortable before he called him "David may I see you for a moment." David nodded solemnly and walked over, his hands in his pockets, his head down.

"Yeah?"

"Outside please" he said, walking over to the doorway to further themselves from the classes noisy ears.

"What did I do?" David asked his voice low and nervous, he shuffled his feet, not looking Will right in the eyes.

"Nothing, I just wanted to see if you were alright. You look a little..."

"Yeah I know, I've already heard it today okay. So if that's all you have to say then can I go back to my..."

"No there is a little more I want to discuss with you" David huffed but stayed where he was, obviously interested in what he had to say.

"Listen, I was wondering if you would come to the Glee room today after school" David's face snapped up in panic. "Just for a while, I'm not going to make you sing or anything. I just want to show you something." David still looked sceptical; he narrowed his eyes unsure of what to say. "Hold on a second; give me a look like you just gave me attitude." David looked even more confused. "Just trust me." David crossed his arms and stared at him with such a ferocious stare that for a second Will forgot he told him to do this. "KAROFSKY I'VE HAD ENOUGH. You WILL meet me after school for detention. In the GLEE ROOM. Do you understand?" David sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever" he muttered, walking back into the class and sitting back at his desk. He had to hand it to the kid, he was a good actor.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Dave waited inside the Glee room like he was asked, but nobody had come. He fiddled with his jacket, his hair, his cell phone. He drummed his fingers on his leg, the piano, a chair. He paced around the room about a hundred times it felt, and still no one was here.

Dave kicked over a chair. He hadn't been too happy when Mr. Schuester had asked him to come here in the first place. Even with the pretend detention he was wondered if someone would think he came here because he wanted to come here. He looked out the door window to make sure no one was around, and acted like James Bond on his way to the room. He had gone out of his way to come here and what had he gotten? Nothing. No Mr. Schuester and no explanation.

He felt the numbness of anger all over his skin. He wanted to kill someone, punch them, push them into a wall. He felt like screaming so loudly that he could break glass. He punched his fist into the wall, ignoring the pain that came after. All day people had been asking him if he was okay, okay, okay. Was he okay? No, no he was not, but no one wanted to hear that. All anyone ever wanted to hear was 'yeah, I'm fine'. He had learned early on in life that no one wanted to hear your problems; all they want is the self satisfaction of knowing that they had tried to help.

He remembered talking to a friend once, and them telling him he had it made. Why did people always assume that about him? That he had it made. He realised it was probably because he was a strong, popular, white male that had decent clothes and wasn't skinny. If you were all these things people just assumed you were fine, that you couldn't possibly have a bad life. He didn't think is life was bad, he thought he really did have it made compared to a lot of people, he just wanted people to consider that maybe everything wasn't picture perfect.

The feeling didn't stop though, his anger was raging now. He wanted to leave but was afraid if he did he would get in trouble. If he didn't get away from this feeling though, he knew he would hurt someone. It was eating him whole, swallowing him so fast he didn't have time to react. All his frustrations came to the surface and somehow. Someway he needed to get them out, he took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and...

_Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say/I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way/For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took /Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor/ I'm not okay/I'm not okay/I'm not okay/You wear me out/_ _What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems/I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means/To be a joke and look, another line without a hook/I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look/I'm not okay/I'm not okay/I'm not okay  
You wear me out/Forget about the dirty looks/The photographs your boyfriend took/You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed/I'm okay/I'm okay/ I'm okay, now/ But you really need to listen to me/Because I'm telling you the truth/I mean this, I'm okay/I'm not okay/I'm not okay  
Well, I'm not okay/I'm not o-fucking-kay/I'm not okay_/I'm not okay

He sighed. It felt weird to get all those feelings out like that. He looked around the Glee room only now realizing he had moved around it and was now on the risers.

"That was pretty good" he heard coming from the door. Dave turned to the side to see Mr. Schuester leaning against the door frame, his hand together in a clapping motion that Dave couldn't hear. His whole body went into shock.

"How long have you been standing there?" He growled through clenched teeth. He leaped off the risers to the door in a matter of minutes, trying to get past Mr. Schuester, but he blocked the way.

"I only heard the last line, but it was good David. Really good."

"What would you know" David spat, once again trying to get past Mr. Schuester. He was definitely stronger than Mr. Schue, but he was angry and embarrassed and it made him weaker. He just wanted to get out of there and forget this singing ever happened, it was stupid. He was stupid.

"Come on in David, you still have to serve your detention right?" Mr. Schuester grinned and pulled out the bench by the piano, he sat down and smiled at David, gesturing for him to sit down. When Dave didn't take the offer he starting talking. "You really looked like you were having fun up there. It feels good to get all your feelings out through song doesn't it?" Dave didn't look at Mr. Schuester, he just stared away, as though Mr. Schuester wasn't there, he didn't want Mr. Schuester to be there. "Sometimes it's the only way people like us can ..."

"People like us? Let's get this straight, I was just singing the song because it was stuck in my head, and secondly, there ain't no "us" there is me, and there is you stupid Glee club kids, but there isn't any us that's for sure." Dave slammed his fists into his pocket, his whole face red.

"David I just want to help. You're a really talented kid, I mean imagine what you could be if you joined the Glee Club, you'd a McKinley star. You'd be..."

"I'm already a McKinley star; I don't need this stupid club. I don't need your help; I'm fine on my own. I don't need anyone but myself. My life is perfect, why would I want to change that. The only reason you want me in your lame Glee Club is so that you can say you bagged another football player, so that your club looks cooler. Why don't you try another member, because I'm not going to do it, I have better things to do than look like an idiot on stage. You don't really want me in your Glee Club" Dave could feel his throat close up, and his eyes starting to burn, he turned away and began leaving the room, before he could he heard Mr. Schuester say

"That's not true David, I..." but he didn't stick around to hear the rest. He ran the rest of his way to his car, and only when he was out of the school parking lot, did the tears begin to fall.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Dave just kept driving; he went on for a while. He wasn't sure where he was going, but his body seemed to. He would turn left, then right, then left again. Tears wouldn't stop streaming his face and he didn't know why. It was just a stupid Glee club; it was just Mr. Schuester, why had he gotten so upset over terminology, over a simple sentence.

When Mr. Schuester said us though, it made his breath stop. He had felt cold and hot at the same time, the way he felt when someone was yelling at him, or when he was embarrassed, then what he said, he didn't know that was what he thought, but now that he was away from the school he realised, it was true. He didn't think Mr. Schuester wanted him in his Glee Club because he was talented or because he liked him; he wanted him in because that would bring more notability to his club. Mr. Schue didn't like him, how could he like him. Still he wondered why it upset him, it wasn't like he wanted to join, it wasn't like he cared. Even so, he couldn't stop crying.

He felt like there was a thick fog in front of his eyes, and he couldn't see. He was worried that he would get into an accident, but didn't. Somehow he parked without knowing where he was. His feet lead him out of the car; he opened a door, and walked without realising where he was. It was only when he heard a sound he hadn't heard in a while did he realise where he was. He was at Dalton Academy. He could hear Kurt's voice.

Dave didn't understand what made him come to Dalton Academy. He hated everything about the school, and he definitely did not want to talk to Kurt. He didn't know anyone that went here other then Kurt and his friend, so why was he here? He didn't know. Nothing made sense to him right now; all he knew was that for some reason he was here.

He walked towards the sounds of singing. It wasn't only Kurt, but Kurt's was the only voice he could recognize. His high, light, feminine voice hit his ear like an earthquake, shaking him up. It defied everything he knew about his own gender. Men were suppose to have rough, strong, deep voices that sounded powerful, not light voices that sounded soft and sweet. He couldn't understand how Kurt could be a boy and have such a tender kind of voice. It confused him, and what's more, it frightened him.

There were other types of voices singing as well, one lead guy. He had a boy's voice. It was velvety kind of voice that wasn't particularly far ranged, but warm toned. This voice was singing lead to a song Dave was sure he had heard before but couldn't name; it was something R&B, something fun. It wasn't Dave's kind of music but it sounded nice. Even though he knew singing was silly and gay, he wished he had a voice like that.

As he moved closer to the area where the music was coming from, he realised how ridiculous this was. What would he do when he got to the room where the music was coming from, stand outside the door like a four year old? He knew this was not a very brilliant idea, and that he should go home right away, but something stopped him. He could feel the sadness that he felt back at school, and the anger from this place where two of his enemies were mix together in a deadly combination. He had thought it was enough for the loser fag to leave school, that all these things would go away, but they were only attacking him more now. They were only getting more frequent. His absence was no longer helping him forget about the past, about the dreams that woke him up in the night. He didn't know what it would solve but he wanted to see Kurt, see Kurt, and in seeing him get rid of all feelings that haunted him. Maybe, if he saw him and realised he was not attracted to him, not at all, then he would finally get over this conflict inside, and be able to move on with life.

After the song he heard shuffling within the room. Rationality hit and he hid behind a wall so that no one could see him, but he could see the kids leave. People left in groups, so fast and in enough numbers that Dave was worried he would miss him. He looked at each kid and did not see the face of his target at all. What would happen if he didn't see him? Dave didn't know but he didn't want to find out. He had to see Kurt, just once; this would bring him back to normal he was sure. Suddenly there were no people coming out of the room anymore, Dave's heart sank, he turned to find another exit when he heard a giggle.

Coming out of the room with a dark haired boy close beside him was Kurt. He looked different than he remembered, his face was redder, his eyes were brighter, he was smiling a wide smile that went up to his ears. Dave stared in awe as he put his arm around the dark haired boy and somehow managed to smile wider. "We going for coffee now, or do you want to go shopping a bit?"

"Oh definitely coffee first, I am DYING of thirst. I forgot to get some water today, my throat feels like sandpaper. It can be such a drag doing solos." The dark haired boy, Kurt's friend from that day, smiled and put his hand dramatically on his head.

"Oh poor baby" Kurt laughed, grabbing the boy's hand and pulling him towards the front doors. He stopped for a moment and looked back at the space near Dave was standing, Dave held his breath, hoping Kurt wouldn't notice him, the bravery from before completely dripping out of him.

"What's wrong? Aren't we rushing to get the prima donna his coffee?" The dark haired boy asked with a mix of amusement and concern.

Kurt shrugged and laughed "Come on." Dave waited a moment till they were completely gone before starting to leave.

"Excuse me young man, may I ask what you're doing in this facility?" A tall man in a red and black jacket asked Dave, his face stern.

"Sorry, I was just leaving." The man walked him out, ensuring he was indeed leaving, and Dave got back in his car. As he sat down he put his head on the wheel. He was now positive of one thing and one thing only, that he was more confused than ever before.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_**(A.N: Sorry for any major errors in the writing. If there are any please tell me and I will fix them. Thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoy it.) **_

When Dave got home he went straight to his room without bothering to say hello to his father. He flopped on his bed with a sigh, putting his hand on his head and rubbing hard. He squeezed the space between his eyebrows trying to get rid of the massive headache he felt. He thought about taking some aspirin or something but didn't want to get up and get it, he didn't want to go downstairs and risk seeing his dad.

Why had his subconscious lead him to Kurt? He had hopped with every fibre of his being that this would get him past all these feelings, that he could go back to being David, but it didn't. It only made him realise that David was never coming back. He couldn't shake the new feelings, and he couldn't understand them. He didn't know what to do, and he was scared.

He wanted more than anything to grab a bottle and chug it down, forgetting everything and going back to his dreams of normalcy and happiness. He wanted to feel handsome, and smart, and real. He wanted to go back to the drunken dreams of grandeur and leave the confusion behind, but before he did that he wanted to understand why he went there in the first place. Why he did what he did.

He couldn't figure it out. He tried to comprehend his feelings, sort them out, but it just made him hazy. He felt so tired he wanted to fall asleep, but so restless he wanted to go out for a drive. He turned to his side and curled into a ball, knocking his head against his knees, trying anything to get this headache away.

Why was he so angry, so hurt? Why was he so confused? Dave didn't understand why he should be confused. It seemed simple to him, he should be straight, should go out with cheerleaders, play football, ace classes, and be happy, but he wasn't going out with cheerleaders, and he wasn't happy. It didn't make sense to him. Why couldn't he just be happy?

Dave thought about the guys on the team. He wondered if any of them thought of themselves as anything less than perfect. He wondered if the other guys looked at themselves the way he did, criticizing every inch of themselves, feeling like they weren't enough, like they would never be enough. He wondered if any of them spent days convincing themselves they were attracted to women, that they were normal. He wondered if it was only him that felt this way. He just wanted to be like the other guys on the team; he just wanted to be normal.

He heard the front door open downstairs and knew it was his Uncle. That was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now. He wanted to be left alone, to lie in bed and for once stop hiding. To finally think things through and find out why, answer the questions he was avoiding. The sound of the door slamming made him snap up. He would have to come back to this, realising that this problem could wait, it wasn't going anywhere. The problem downstairs on the other hand, that had to be dealt with.

He walked downstairs, his face pale, his eyes red. Forgetting to do anything about it Dave walked into his living room, his Uncle sitting on the dark black couch, a mug of coffee in his hands. He took a sip leaving residue of coffee on his upper lip. At the sound of Dave's feet he looked up and scowled. "What the hell is wrong with you boy, you look like shit. It looks like you've been having yourself a cry. What, you break a nail?" He sneered at him. Dave stood tall, trying to leave all the feelings of insecurity upstairs in bed so he could be brave. He ran a hand through his curly, brown hair and shook his head.

"No, I wasn't crying Uncle Jake; my eyes are just red from allergies."

"Allergies my ass David, you look like shit, those tear stains on your cheeks? You look like a fuckin' baby. When you going to grow a pair like mine eh? Jesus, I was beginning to like you too. Here you go crying like a little girl. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing I told you its allergies." His Uncle stood up, put his mug on the coffee table in front of the couch, and walked towards Dave. In his full height Jake Karofsky was over six foot five. He stared at Dave, getting up in his face. His eyes danced with flames of hatred.

"Don't. Lie. To. Me. You don't have allergies, you never had allergies. I've been here your whole life David. I've been here since you were a little baby. I know when I see a wimpy little brat crying like a lady. Now you tell me what's wrong right now."

Dave gritted his teeth. He was tired. He just wanted to get rid of his Uncle and get back to thinking, but he was scared to talk back to him. He was scared of what he would do. "It. Is. Nothing."

Jake slammed his fist into Dave's face, knocking him to the ground. He landed hard on the marble floor, and could feel blood dripping from his nose. Jake reached down and grabbed Dave by the shirt, lifting him till he was right in Jake's face. "You want to lie to me again. Why were you crying?"

"It's nothing. I swear." He spited through the blood. He felt a jab in his stomach, knocking the wind out of him as his body slipped to the floor. He kneeled in agony as his Uncle clenched and unclenched his fist.

"Damnit Davey, just answer the question. We're buddies right? We're friends. You can tell me, man. I ain't gonna tell nobody."

Dave took shallow breaths, trying to get enough air to speak. When he could he said "It's just been a tough day." His Uncle laughed, walking back to his coffee, and the couch. Turning on the T.V, leaving his nephew on the floor.

"I've had a lifetime of bad days kid. You need to suck it up. Be a fuckin' man and stop whining. Either get through it, or get the fuck out of my face." He smiled, and turned his head to Dave. "Anyway, at least you're not a fag right? You can be thankful for that."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The next day Dave was in a trance. It was as though the world had opened up, and everything was different. At practice he looked at all the guys, trying to figure out whether he was attracted to any of them. He wasn't, but it made him feel awkward. Did he have to check from now on to see if he was attracted to other guys? How did it work? This was of course assuming he was, different. It all seemed up in the air for him, and he wasn't sure what was coming down.

"Dude, get off me." Azimio said from underneath him, breaking the daze he was under. Blinking he realised he had tackled Azimio to the ground, obviously for the game, but he hadn't gotten right back up to get back in. Everyone was staring at him, ready to get back in position. He got up quickly, shaking off a bit of dirt, and mumbled an apology. He wondered if he was attracted to Azimio. Could he be attracted to someone without knowing it? He didn't think so, but then again he didn't know anything about this kind of thing.

His eyes were still bruised from the punch to the face his Uncle gave him, and his nose was broken. The bandage on it only made him feel more conspicuous, as though everyone could see into his soul. Luckily no one on the team had said anything rude about it. Dave didn't think he could take any insults today from the guys; he was too out of it.

After practice Dave ran to the locker rooms, changed as fast as he could, and got out of the change rooms before anyone could even start. He didn't bother taking a shower either, even though he knew he probably wasn't the freshest smelling. He put on some deodorant and hoped from the best. He was too afraid of the answers he'd find in the showers, if there were any.

"Hey Karofsky! Wait up man!" He heard someone call out to him. He turned around stopping dead in the middle of the hall.

"Move out of the way Goliath you're blocking the..." Dave turned back around "Damn Karofsky take this" said an old cheerleader, and constant slut Santana. She pulled a card from her bra and gave it to him.

"What is it?"

"Let me sound it out for you, PLA-STIC SUR-GEON. See it's easy to learn how to read, and maybe mine can fix that obviously hideous nose job. It would be a shame for you to be dumb, and ugly."

"Get a life Santana" Dave heard a voice say behind him, the same voice that had called him. He turned around to see Finn standing there, towering over him.

"Ooo nice comeback Finn, I can't possibly understand why people think all Jocks are stupid." Then she sauntered away, her black ponytail swishing back and forth, leaving both boys without a retort. Dave, still confused, looked at Finn.

"Are you okay Karofsky?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You just seem, I don't know. You left the change room pretty fast, you usually stay longer." Finn said, stumbling over his words.

Usually Dave would have said something like 'what you obsessed with me' or 'what, you have my schedule memorized', but he just shrugged and said "I just wanted to get to class, it doesn't really matter."

"Listen, Karofsky, I know we've had, we have our problems. But if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here. "Dave snorted, it seemed like such a lame thing for Finn to say, and he knew it wasn't true. "I know it sounds corny but seriously, I'm here for you. You're my right guard, if I don't protect you, you don't protect me right?" Dave nodded, not believe a word coming out of his mouth. "Like you know, if you need another man in a fight, or if you need someone to back you up, or someone to help you delivery an apology. You know, whatever it is. I'll be there." Dave rolled his eyes; of course this was what it was all about, his precious brother Kurt. Finn had been pressuring him to apologize for a while, probably figuring if they were buddies he would do it. In the moment however, Dave considered it. Maybe apologising to Kurt wouldn't be such a bad idea. Kurt had offered help with this confusing question before, maybe, if he apologised, maybe he would help him now. "Karofsky, you there?"

"Yeah, uh...thanks." He said absent minded. "I have to get to class now." He left Finn without saying another word, walking towards his class. He finally understood why he would go to Dalton Academy. If Kurt couldn't help him, no one could. He was sure of that.

In class he planned out what he would say, building his confidence with every word he wrote. He didn't concentrate in class. He knew he answered questions, but he couldn't remember what he said. He put all his energy into what he would say to Kurt. He was nervous, more nervous than he had been when he tried out for the football team for the first time. More nervous than he had been when he had his first drink. This was important, he couldn't screw this up. His sanity depended on this.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

He picked up a couple of bottles of liquid courage at home before going to Dalton. He also combed his hair, trying to make the curls on the top of his head lie flat, like Kurt's friend. He wanted to look at least presentable before meeting Kurt. He changed his shirt too; he put on a nice black shirt that his Dad had gotten him for church. He thought it might be a little too dressy, but he remembered his dad saying 'you can never be over dressed, only under dressed' so he kept it. He put on black jeans as well, keeping it casual but nice, and he had heard some cheerleader say black was slimming. He looked at himself in the mirror quickly, not seeing the effect, but hoping Kurt would. He wasn't sure why he cared, he just did.

He chugged down three beers on his way to the car, his nerves making him thirsty. For a moment he thought of forgetting it all and going back inside, but he reassured himself this was the only way. He put the rest of the beers in the glove compartment for when he reached Dalton, took one last look at himself in the rear-view mirror, than started up the car.

The drive there seemed to both be way too long, and go too fast. Before he knew it he was there. Shivers went down his spin, and his heart was beating faster than after a suicide sprints. He tried to take a deep breath as he parked facing the school entrance but couldn't, instead he pulled a beer out and drank it, this calming him down more than anything. He also pulled out his apology, he reviewed it over and over, and each time he stumbled he took a drink of a beer.

He waited over an hour, realising there must be a Glee meeting. By the time Kurt finally came out of the doors of the school Dave's face was dripping with sweat, his collar soaked, as well as his armpits. He grabbed his letterman jacket, hoping to hide at least the armpit sweat. Took one last drink of beer, and ran out of the car to catch up with Kurt. He was with his friend who only made Dave more nervous, but he knew there was no turning back now. This had to get done.

"Hummel!" Dave yelled, jogging up to where Kurt and his friend were. Kurt turned around slowly, his eyes widening in recognition of the voice so that his eyes looked like miniature globes. His mouth formed a perfect O and his face lost even the adorable blush that donned his cheeks usually. His friend grabbed his hand and pulled him behind him, protecting him from any attack. Dave stopped in front of them; he looked Kurt right in the eye determinedly. He let the alcohol do its job. "Hummel, listen, I have something to..."

"Look we don't want any trouble okay?" said his friend, breaking his concentration. Dave looked from the dazed and frightened Kurt to the friend. His eyes were narrowed at Dave, as though wondering what his purpose was here. "So you can just scamper on, okay?" Kurt seemed to snap out of his daze at his friend's words, and though he still looked frightened, he spoke

"Listen Chapman junior, I don't want you near me in case you didn't get the message. Why don't you leave me alone?" This wasn't going the way Dave had planned it. He thought they would at least give him a chance to talk, rather than get defensive him right away. Now that he was interrupted, and personally attacked, he couldn't remember what he wanted to say.

"I, uh, I. Wait, wait, wait...hold on. Don't, don't move. Hold on" Dave slurred, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out his speech, the words blurring in front of his eyes, from a mixture of anxiety and booze. "Kurt, uh...Kurt. I am uh I am tearably, no sorry, I mean terribly, I'm uh terribly..."

"Let's go Blaine, this is ridiculous" Kurt said, pulling on his friend's arm. They started to walk away, but Dave, seeing they were leaving, reached out to stop them. He grabbed Kurt's arm with only the intention of stopping him. He had to get this out. "Ow!" Kurt screamed, trying to pull his arm back.

"Please, wait. Hold on. I need to..." before he could finish he felt a hand shove him into the wall of Dalton, making him let go of Kurt. He landed with an "Oof" and braced himself so he wouldn't fall. His friend, this Blaine, stared at him hard.

"Why should I listen to you Karofsky? You made my life a living hell. Why, so that you can spew out some gibberish that your mommy wrote you so that you could clear you conscience? Well sorry, but you're just going to have to live with it because I have better things to do than listen to some pathetic, testosterone filled, baby."

"No, no please listen, you have to listen to me. Please!" Dave begged. Trying to get him to stay and listen. "Please I am so terribly sorry, I didn't want, I mean, I don't know why, I mean, I really just wanted to, I mean" Dave tried to get the words out, but now that he was nervous the words just wouldn't leave the safety of his mouth. "Please, Kurt, please. You have to believe that I, I really, really am, I can't believe I would do, but I did. I can't ever, but I want you to, I need you to, I realise that I, I just. I'm..." Kurt started to walk away, but his friend, Blaine, just stared at him almost sympathetically.

"Kurt maybe you should listen to what he has to say. What harm could it do? I'm here, he can't hurt you." Blaine said, Kurt stopped, and turned around to where Blaine and Dave stood. He put his hand on his hip, raised one beautiful triangular brow and rolled his eyes, the fright still in them.

This was Dave's time; all he had to say was two words. One word if he couldn't get out the other. One word would lead him to everything he needed. He opened his mouth to speak, his lips moved, he looked Kurt straight in the eyes, but the sound wouldn't come out.

"Karofsky" Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Karofsky, you are an insignificant little boy who will probably grow up to be an alcoholic worker in a factory line. You make me wish I was Criss Angel so that I could make you disappear. Just disappear and make everyone happy." Then he started running off, his friend Blaine shook his head and ran after him.

Finally finding his voice Dave yelled out "I'm sorry, god I am so sorry Kurt" but he was sure it was too late. He slipped to the ground and put his head in his hand. What was he going to do now?


	19. Chapter 19: Different Perspective

Chapter 19: Different Perspective.

_**(A.N: The author of this chapter knows very little about being cool)**_

Azimio waited on the curb for Karofsky. It was rare that his boy would even bother going out on a school day, and without his wingman (and alcohol buyer) Azimio didn't usually bother going out either, which meant he missed out on the ladies, and the drinks. He was surprised to hear from him after school, but was happy to go out. He was ready for a party.

Karofsky's truck pulled up and stopped to allow Azimio in. He jumped in and smacked his buddy on the arm. "Hey man! What made you want to go out? You need a little ass?" He laughed and turned up Karofsky's radio. "What the hell is this shit man?" He asked as he heard some Lady Gaga playing. Karofsky shrugged and started up the car. He didn't look like he was in a partying mood; he looked like he was in a fighting mood. Azimio had never seen his boy so cold. "You okay? You sure you up for this man?"

"You should take off your jacket; they aren't going to let you in the club with a high school jacket on." Karofsky was right; he slipped off his jacket and threw it in the back. He laughed as he changed the radio to some hard rock.

"Man you took away my ammo, that's how I pick up chicks man. Tell 'em you're a football star, they get so hot they buy you drinks. Maybe I could sneak it in under my shirt, what do you think?" Karofsky didn't answer; he just stared at the road. "Or maybe I could like, you know, stuff it down the front of my pants, make it look like I have a bigger dick." Still there was no answer. "Or I could wear it like a cape and tell the ladies I'm superman, you listening to me?"

"What?"

"Never mind" Azimio shook his head "You gonna be like this all night, cause I do actually want some women to talk to us if you don't mind?"

Karofsky looked over at Azimio, then back at the road "What does it matter what I'm like? You're the one they'll be going with."

"Yeah man, but if your wingman is boring than they won't talk to you, they need someone to entertain the less attractive friend while I talk to the hottie, you feel me?" Karofsky nodded but still looked off. Azimio wondered if he should ask him what's wrong again. Karofsky had been his best friend for a while, but to them, that meant hanging out, going partying, picking on the high school rejects, and playing sports together. Sometimes Karofsky told Azimio about his dilemmas with hockey and football, and Azimio told Karofsky about his girl problems but other than that, they never really talked. As much as Azimio wondered what's wrong he didn't want to get in his friend's business. If he really wanted to talk, he would.

When they arrived at the club Azimio looked at himself in the side windows. His mom was definitely right, red did flatter him. The boys got out of the car and headed to the line to get in. There was only one real club in Lima worth going to so the line to get in was pretty big, but the boys knew how to get to the front quickly. They walked to a group of girls who were obviously in high school, obviously going to get into the club even without a card, and near the front of the line.

"Looking fine ladies" Azimio said, whistling "What do you say to some drinks from a couple of footballers huh?" The girls looked the two guys over, unsure, Azimio stood up straighter and flashed his brilliant white teeth; he had them in the bag.

"Sure" shrugged a cute blonde with a pixie cut, looking at Karofsky. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were in his pockets. He looked at the ground, not looking at the amazingly pretty girls that were standing in front of them. Azimio shook his head, he didn't understand why Karofsky wouldn't be staring that these...girls. He smiled and slipped into line with them, Karofsky following in step with him. Azimio hoped he wouldn't be too much of a tag-a-long either. He wanted to be able to show this blonde Shorty his moves without his bro on his back.

The bouncer let them in without looking at their cards; he was too busy staring at the girls they were with. It was a good thing too thought Azimio. The fakes they had gotten were doable but not very good.

Azimio, two of the girls, and Karofsky walked over to the bar. The girls ordered the most expensive drink there, Azimio ordered a rum and coke, and Karofsky ordered a pint of beer. Rather than stand with the rest on them, Karofsky plopped himself on a stool and started slurping down the beer. The girls were staring at him sceptically so Azimio quickly said "My boy is thirsty! He needs to hydrate before he moves; you know what I'm saying?" The girls smiled and giggled. The blonde with the pixie cut put her hand on Azimio's arm and leaned into his ear.

"I love dancing!" The two walked to the dance floor, leaving a sexy red head with Karofsky. Azimio prayed that his friend would talk to the girl, because if he knew ladies (which he certainly did) then he knew that if one girl wasn't enjoying herself, she would drag her friend away, and he would get no number, and no lip action, and he would not be happy with either.

Every once and a while Azimio would look over at his boy. Every time he saw an almost full pint of beer, but he could also see him talking to the girl, which was a good sign. He soon forgot about Karofsky completely. He had such fun dancing and moving with this girl, the whole dance floor disappeared, that was until he heard crying right next to him.

"He told me to fuck off" cried the red head, her friend putting a comforting arm around her. "All I said was maybe he should slow down a bit, and he yelled at me."

"Dave wouldn't do that, he probably was talking to someone else." Azimio tried to reassure them, or at least, trying to make sure the blonde didn't walk away.

"Are you calling my friend a liar?" Spat the blonde.

"No, I'm just saying maybe she's mis..."

"All your friend has done here since we came in was sit at the bar, so maybe you're mistaken, having friends like that."

"Hey, that's my best friend! Don't act like you know him."

"Come on Amy, we don't need this shit." The blonde steered Amy away to the other end of the club, Azimio cursed to himself and went to find Karofsky. He found him with another half pint of beer. His face was completely white, and his body was rocking back and forth.

"What the hell was that man? You ruined my shot with her!"

"That's because I'm a screw up. It's what we do" Karofsky slurred stupidly. His eyes rolled around, unable to focus on anything.

"Forget it, I don't know why you asked me to come out with you, this is shit man."

"Grab another drink man! We've only just begun to party."

"No, forget this shit, I'm driving you home."

"No! I'm fine." Azimio dragged Karofsky from the bar. Karofsky didn't seem to be able to stand too well. When they got outside he threw him in the passenger seat, than reached into his pocket for the keys. He started the car and drove towards Karofsky's house, pissed off. The one time he gets to go out on the week day and he screws it up. Beside him he heard Karofsky whisper.

"I'm sorry Az, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know anymore." Azimio sighed and kept driving, not ready to forgive him yet, but a worry grew inside him. Where was his best friend?


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Dave stumbled into the house loudly. He stood at the front door trying to take off his sneakers but not quite getting them. He had never been this wasted in his life. His whole body felt heavier than it had ever been, but his head felt like it had disappeared. Just standing on his feet seemed difficult, yet still he could hear the words that Kurt had said to him clearly in his mind. His thoughts wouldn't leave his head. His shoulder bumped the wall and he laughed, he didn't know why.

"David is that you?" He heard his father yell out. He heard heavy footsteps on the floor, and his father appeared before his eyes. Dave cursed under his breath, trying to figure out the date. "Where were you? We always eat dinner together on Thursday nights; you think I have all the time in the world to...David...what's wrong with you?" Dave stumbled forward, falling to the floor. He pulled off both his shoes, but couldn't get up, he looked up at his dad, his eyes blurred, but he could see the concern and anger on his face.

Ever since his mom died when he was eight his dad had been too busy to have a real dinner with him, preferring to eat fast food, or easily made meals in his office so he could focus on work, but once a week (on a Thursday) he would take time out of his precious schedule to eat with him, see how he was doing (or more accurately see how he was doing in school) and talk to him. 'I could slap myself' Dave thought, it was the only day of the week his father gave a shit, and here he was plastered.

His dad reached his hand out to help Dave up, and walked him over to the dining room table. The room was unnaturally clean from rare use. His dad sat him down in a chair, the chair creaking loudly. Dave laid his head on the back on the chair, his eyes flickered open and shut. His dad sat down across from him.

"Where were you David?" His dad asked calmly but firmly. He folded his hands in front of him, staring at David without blinking.

"Out" Dave said, then giggled. He could feel his eye lids burning.

"When did you start drinking?"

"What makes you think I've been drinking?" Dave giggled again.

"I'm not stupid David; I've been drunk in my time. You smell like you've been bathing in liquor, you're completely intoxicated. Now I'll ask you again, how long?"

"I, uh...I don't know." Dave's head was hurting, he felt so tired, he just wanted to go to bed.

"I went into your backpack to see how you've been doing in school, as you obviously weren't here to tell me yourself. You're doing better, A's but what is this B in Spanish, maybe it's this alcohol, maybe that's why you aren't doing as well as you should be doing in Spanish. Do you think a University isn't going to take this into consideration when they look at you for a scholarship, if they look at you for a scholarship at all?

"Can we not talk about this now?" Dave asked, his head losing the lightness.

"I don't have all the time in the world David. I have a job, a job that will have to pay for your University when you don't get a scholarship. You've been slacking; even your Uncle Jake thinks so. He said you've been mouthing off. He said you've been lazing about. He told me you haven't been working out like you used to, how are you supposed to get better like that? Hmm...? You think you can just skate through life David? Are you listening to me? It's your own fault if you feel bad right now. I don't know what the heck your doing David. I just don't understand. This all started with that homosexual kid."

Dave shook his head. "No, no...it..."

"Yes it did David. I mean, let's face it, you've never been a perfect student, and you've never been an amazing football player, but you were always consistent. I've never had this kind of trouble with you. Then all of a sudden this homosexual kid pops up, and you begin acting like a hooligan." Dave snorted, thinking about all the years he slushied Glee kids, picked on kids, threw kids in trash cans and in lockers. "This is no laughing matter David. I am quite frankly tired of this. I don't have time to deal with your foolishness. The homosexual kid is gone, forget about him. That is his father's issue, not yours."

"What if I was gay?" Dave held his breath for the response.

"Don't be silly David; we are having a serious discussion."

"No really, what if I was gay?"

"You're not gay, you would never be gay, this is a moot point. You may not have a girlfriend, but that's only because you haven't matured physically yet."

"What if I was?"

Paul Karofsky leaned across the table to his son. His face was serious, his hazel eyes staring into Dave's. "No son of mine is gay; no son of mine would ever be gay. There is no point in discussing something that could never be." Dave looked his father in the eye, his heart feeling like it was being slowly ripped from his chest. "You listen to me David, you better start acting like an adult, I don't want to have to chase after you again. Stop this drinking, stop this messing around, get your grades up, get a girlfriend, and start practicing football more. I can't be looking after you every second of the day, do you understand me?"

Dave nodded though he didn't, and with that his father left him, stranded at the table. Dave felt a pit in his stomach, and a feeling he never felt before. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bunch of aspirins for his headache, put them in his pocket, and grabbed a glass. He struggled up the stairs to the bathroom, and looked at himself in the mirror.

"I'm gay." He said to himself, the words tasting like vinegar as they left his mouth. His whole body began to shake, and he felt a pain in his stomach. Thoughts circled his mind, he saw his Uncle's face twisted in rage and fists ready to strike, he saw his dad's disappointed face, he saw his friends disgusted sneers, the glee kids faces twisted in laugher, and the look on Kurt's face, of joy in his pain. He thought about all the insecurities he had, about his looks, his skills, his smarts. He looked at himself and everything he hated seemed to be ten times worse. His head felt so foggy from the beer, yet he could clearly hear the words "Chubby little boys who sweat too much, and will be bald by the time they're thirty" he thought of Kurt, his lean little body, his cute smile, his hair that always seemed to have that perfect flip. His heart felt as though it was being stabbed as he thought of the attractive dark haired, perfect bodied boy that had Kurt's heart now. He stood no chance against that, not an ignorant ham hock like himself. Not a stupid guy like himself, who couldn't sing, not like Kurt could.

Dave now realised this, that he wanted Kurt. That he liked Kurt. He was like Kurt. "I'm gay" he said again, but he couldn't be. He couldn't be gay. There was no room to be gay, he had to be straight. He couldn't be who he was, and gay. It wasn't like being Kurt who was perfect, and talented, and handsome, Dave thought to himself.

All Dave wanted to be was perfect, and now there was no way he could be. He was gay and he knew it. There was no hiding it anymore. He couldn't hide it anymore, it was like someone was ripping, and tearing, and stabbing, and burning his heart. His brain felt as though it was going to explode. His whole body felt as though he had been training for four days straight. His eyes, making everything so distorted, only made his own reflection look more twisted and disgusting. He hated himself, every inch, every thought. He hated being gay. He hated being himself. He knew no amount of drinking was going to change that, this night proved it. He couldn't get away from himself, no matter how hard he tried. He picked up a bottle of shampoo and whipped it at the mirror, the glass shattering and falling into the skink, onto the floor, and into the skin of his arm. He heard a noise downstairs that sounded like his dad moving but he didn't care.

He turned on the tap and let water fill the glass he had brought upstairs, he was glad he hadn't thrown that. He took out the aspirins and popped all of them in his mouth; he took a long swig of water and allowed himself to slip onto the remaining glass free part of the floor. He could feel a veil of blackness slowly fill up this brain, and his eyes. The last thing he could hear before he passed out was the sound of his dad's feet on the stairs, and a voice inside his head saying 'you still won't get away'.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

_**(A.N: This chapter is twice as long as usual.)**_

When his eyes finally fluttered open his first thought was 'hell is colder than I expected' and his second was 'why did the devil put tubes in my arms'. His brain couldn't seem to comprehend anything, his eyes not wanting to open up fully. As his eyes fluttered he caught glimpses of light blue walls, white curtains, big metal machines. It made no sense to him.

When his brain starting clearing he realised he was also lying on his side, there was a tube in his mouth. He could feel himself almost gagging from it. He also saw an I.V pole with a bunch of bags on it beside him, the contents slinking into his arm, the arm that was free. He felt so tired, his whole body ached, his head was killing him and he didn't know where he was. He didn't understand why hell would be so quiet and so bright. He certainly couldn't be in heaven, he thought. Suicide was a sin, even Hamlet had known that. He thought maybe he had been lucky, and was sent to purgatory, but then, why all the medical equipment.

A lady in a blue scrub came into the room, she went to the I.V pole, than faced him. "You're up? Well I better get the doctor then." Before she left though she turned him onto his back, and ran out of the room, then came back in with something metal in her hands. He felt the cold metal on both his wrists and only realised when the nurse had left what these objects were, they were handcuffs. Maybe he was in hell.

Not too long after a tall women with black hair came into the room. She sported a lad coat and a clipboard. Dave's eyes struggled to focus on her, he felt so sleepy. He wouldn't go to sleep though, he was sure this woman could answer his burning questions about why he was here. The woman walked over to Dave and detached the tube that was in his throat, as it was slipping out he felt his gag reflex go crazy. When it was out he coughed and gasped. The woman put her hand on Dave's shoulder "It's okay, you're going to be fine, just relax" she was right, as soon as he relaxed he could breathe again, though his throat killed. "I know your throat hurts, but do you think you could answer some questions for me?" Dave nodded, then opened his mouth and tried to talk, it was hard, his mouth was really dry but he managed a creaky 'yes'. The woman walked over to his right where there was a little desk and grabbed a white cup with a straw. "Drink slowly" he sipped a bit, wanting to swallow all the water in one gulp but knowing she was probably right. "Okay, my name is Dr. Manatough do you know what your name is?"

"David Paul Karofsky" Dave managed. His voice sounded as though his throat was coated with sandpaper and dirt.

"Good, do you know your father's name?"

"Paul Jonathan Karofsky" Dave thought he was lucky to have remembered his dad's middle name as well, he thought it made him seem smarter.

"Do you what town you live in?"

"Lima, Ohio."

"Do you know where you are right now David?" Dave shook his head, that's what he wanted to know.

"Well I can see you have no brain damage which is lucky, right now you are in Lima General Hospital. You had some alcohol poisoning, and you overdosed on painkillers. We luckily were able to pump your stomach and treat you fast enough. You are very lucky to be here right now young man. We will have somebody in to talk to you in a little while, but it seems that you almost have all the toxins out of your system. You are very lucky young man." Dave's head was spinning, Lima General Hospital, alcohol poisoning, overdose, lucky?

"Wait!" He screamed, regretting it immediately as his throat felt as though it was being scratched by kittens. The Doctor turned back to Dave, her eyebrow raised, and walked back to the bed.

"Yes?"

"How long have I been in here?"

"You arrived here early Friday morning, so about a day and a half."

"It's ...Sunday?"

"Yes. Is that all?" Dave nodded and the doctor left. Dave stared at the ceiling stunned. He wasn't dead; he couldn't even kill himself properly. Now all his school friends would find out, everyone would think he was crazy. One thing was for certain, he wasn't going to try that again. If anything next time he would shoot himself in the face, that way he couldn't be so 'lucky'.

He wondered for a moment where his father was, but realised right away that he was probably at work. His father couldn't be bothered with such silliness as his attempted suicide he thought bitterly. He had probably just waited to see if they could stabilize him, if that. For the first time Dave realised how alone he really was. He had always felt alone, but here in the hospital he felt like he was the only person on the earth, and he wondered how much of that feeling was his own fault?

He nodded off a couple of times, the intense sleepiness he felt making his eyes feel heavy. Each time he opened his eyes another nurse was there, checking his vitals, or putting a new bag on the I.V pole. He almost fell into a deep sleep when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes opened to see an older man with kind deep gray eyes, salt and pepper hair, and a warm smile. Now that he admitted to himself that he was gay, he could also admit that the doctor was quite attractive. "Hello David, may I call you David, you can just nod or shake your head if it hurts too much to talk."

"It's okay, if you want to I guess."

"Is that what you like to be called?"

"I, uh, I prefer Dave, but David's fine. Most people call me Karofsky." The talking made him cough, the doctor patiently waited for him to finish.

"Okay Dave, I'm Dr. Kilgore, you may call me Tim if you want." He smiled at Dave, then looked at a clipboard in his hands. "How are you feeling Dave?"

"Stupid."

"Why is that?"

"Why do you think, I drank way too much, then I took a bunch of pills, landing myself in the hospital. I could have died." He didn't add that, that had been the plan.

"That isn't stupid Dave, you are not stupid. Do you know I once got so drunk I made out with my best friend? He wasn't too happy with that, neither was my girlfriend. I honestly thought he was my girlfriend at the time. Alcohol clouds you vision sometimes. What lead you to drink so much?"

"I don't know. It felt good I guess. I was partying with a friend. I got stu...my judgement was compromised." He wanted to rub his eyes, but couldn't

"How did you get these cuts?" The doctor asked pointing to a bunch of cuts on his arm.

"I think I broke a mirror, yeah...I broke a mirror and the glass went in my arm."

"Why did you break a mirror Dave?"

"I was drunk, I have no idea why." Again he failed to mention that he did it on purpose. The doctor took notes on the clipboard and then smiled at him.

"What happened to your nose?"

"I'm a football player, I got tackled a little hard, and my nose was broken." He didn't want to bring his Uncle into anything; he really hoped no one had told him what happened.

"Do you like playing football?"

"I love it, it's my life."

"How about school, do you like school?"

"Yeah, I mean, its school, but it's not bad."

"It says here you were expelled from school for a short period of time, why was that?" Dave gulped, and took a deep breath.

"I was uh, picking on this kid."

"Why was that Dave?"

"I thought he was weird, strange, different. It was really juvenile. I was just being immature." Dave hoped the doctor wouldn't think he was lying, he was really telling the truth.

"Do you feel bad about that? Making fun of this kid?"

"Yes, I really do. I feel horrible about it, the kid didn't deserve it."

"What about these pills Dave, why do you think you took so many?"

"I had a really bad headache from the party, I didn't realise how many pills there were in my hand. I just wanted to get rid of the headache."

"Your father said the two of you had an altercation before the incident. He said you kept saying some abnormal things, but wouldn't expand on that, can you explain?"

Dave tried to remember. He had been so wasted he wasn't sure. Then he remembered "I asked him what if I was gay."

The doctor's eyebrows rose "Why did you ask him that Dave?"

"We were talking about the kid I made fun of, he was gay. I wanted to know what he would do if I was gay."

"Why did you want to know this Dave?"

"I don't know, I just wanted to know." He looked away from the doctor, not ready to tell anyone his discovery.

"Have you been under any stress lately?"

"Only the regular teenage kind, you know."

"Listen Dave, I think you're a good kid. We're going to keep you here for a day or two just to observe you, but I want you to know, that you can talk to me about anything. If you need me ask the nurses. I'll be in to talk to you tomorrow. Dave, do you have anything you want to add before I leave?"

"No." The doctor left, and only when he was sure the doctor was gone did he cry. He was crying more than he had ever cried before in his life lately. He could rub his eyes because of the cuffs; the doctor didn't fully trust him. The doctor knew he was gay. He was going to be the butt of everyone's jokes, yet even through all the feelings of depression, a little part of him was thankful he was still alive.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

_**(A.N: Dear Readers, I am so sorry. I couldn't update yesterday for a number of personal reasons and I am truly sorry. I tried to get the chapter done but it just didn't work out. I have prided myself with writing a chapter each day for you, and I am sorry I failed at that. I couldn't do it. I will try to write an extra long chapter today, and I hope you understand. I am sure you will because you guys are the best readers ever. I absolutely love writing for you, and it is a joy to read your reviews, I just feel bad for not getting the chapter up. I am not sure this chapter will be any good, but I am trying my best. Thank you)**_

Dave awoke the next morning to the sound of shuffling. He noted a tiny nurse with a tray of food; she put it on a table that hovered above his legs. "Good morning. Time to wake up and have something to eat." Dave lifted his hand, and in this simple action realised that they had uncuffed him, that they trusted him enough not to do anything. He sat up and looked at the food, scrambled eggs, tomatoes, toast, and a bit of healthy cereal. All of looked disgusting but he ate it as the nurse fiddled with his tubes. "We're almost done with these." Dave nodded but didn't answer. He was starving, he couldn't eat yesterday because his throat hurt so much, and he didn't have the use of his arms. Even though his throat still hurt, he shovelled the food down before the nurse was finished."You shouldn't eat so fast, you'll make yourself sick."

"Sorry" Dave said slightly ashamed at his piggish nature. He gave her a lopsided grin, and he could feel his face getting red. She just grinned back and pushed down the sides of the bed.

"The bathroom is right there if you need it, you just have to take the I.V with you." She pointed off the side to a door and Dave nodded. Seeming to think he was competent enough to understand she left him to his own devices.

Dave could feel that most of the toxins (the physical ones) were out of his body. His head was still foggy, and his headache was still there, but it was not as bad as the day of the incident.

Physically, Dave felt like he could run a lap around the football field. His body was much less tired than it had been. He moved his neck around in circles, hearing the cracks in it, and started loosening up his shoulders. The effects of the pills and the booze had worn off and he wasn't currently feeling any withdrawal symptoms.

Physically he felt much better than he had in the last week. His nose was healing, and his Uncle was nowhere in sight. He was sure that his Uncle wouldn't come to a hospital and attack a patient, if he was lucky his Uncle hadn't been told yet that he was in the hospital. It was unlikely, but a boy could dream.

Physically he was feeling better, but mentally he was just the same. Now that he knew he was gay he wondered what that meant. Did it mean he had to quit the football team and start studying fashion? Did it mean that he had to get a whole new wardrobe? Did it mean he had to develop a whole new way of speaking? Would he have to get a whole new group of friends, and get new hobbies? The only person who could give him answers wouldn't talk to him.

It was now Monday morning and he was sure that his absence from school would not go unnoticed. He was positive that right now all the students of McKinley High were receiving the news via whispering that David Karofsky had tried to kill himself. He knew that a couple of kids from school lived on his street and had probably seen the ambulance take him away. In a small town like Lima news travelled fast, there was no stopping that. He had known from the time he was little that small towns were gossipy towns, luckily he had never been the topic of any gossip, up until now.

He wondered whether people would still want to be associated with him once they knew he what he had done. His friends weren't the type of people that handled weirdness well, neither was he. He knew if they stopped hanging out with him it would just be karma. He more than once had isolated people for doing things that he thought was strange, so he couldn't be shocked when they did the same to him. He only hoped, deep down, that they would care about him enough to forget this and treat him like the prodigal son, like he had never done anything they wouldn't approve of. He hoped it, but wasn't expecting much, his buddies hadn't even come to see how he was doing.

Dr. Kilgore, Tim, came in not too long after breakfast and sat beside him. "How are you doing this morning Dave?" He looked quite good this morning; Dr. Kilgore was obviously a morning person.

"I feel much better than I did yesterday" acting as though he was asking about his physical and not mental state.

"That's good, I'm glad. Your other doctor, Dr. Manatough said that as soon as they finish up with the rest of your treatment you can be discharged from this department." Dave heard the way he set up the sentence, discharged from this department; he had made sure to say 'this department', not the hospital.

"But I can't leave?" Dave felt anxiety in his chest.

"We'll talk about that later Dave, what I want to know is more about how you feel. I want to hear more about what stresses you out. More about the day before you came to the hospital." The doctor smiled at him and put his hand on Dave's knee. Usually this would have made Dave feel awkward and he would have asked the doctor to take his fairy ass hands off him, however Tim seemed to be a really nice guy, and he no longer felt like making fun of people for being gay. It seemed silly now.

"I, I went to practice, went to school, and went to lunch, finished class. I uh met up with someone, called a friend of mine, went out to party, came home, talked to my dad, took some pills to stop my headache, and that's it."

"Who did you meet up with?"

"Uh, it doesn't really matter." Dr. Kilgore raised his eyebrows, as though he was saying that if he didn't tell him, he wouldn't get out of here fast. "The kid I made fun of."

"Why did you meet up with this kid?"

"I wanted to apologise for making fun of him."

"And how did that go?"

"He wouldn't listen to my apology." Dave felt his heart drop as he thought of the confrontation. He could see Kurt's angry face in his mind.

"How did that make you feel?"

"Bad I guess, I wanted him to forgive me, but I understood why he didn't."

"Why do you think he did not accept your apology?"

"Because I was a horrible jerk to him, I was cruel, and ruthless, and just plain mean. I wouldn't have forgiven me if the tables were turned." It was the first fully honest thing he had said to the doctor.

"Do you think you're a mean person?"

"Yeah, sometimes, I can be really horrible to good people, and because of that, a lot of good people don't like me."

"How does that make you feel, knowing that?"

"I don't know." Dr. Kilgore looked Dave up and down, his eyes analysing him. Finally he looked Dave straight in the eyes and said.

"What do you think of yourself Dave?"

"I try not to...think of myself." He murmured.

"Dave, would you like to hear what I think?" Dave bit his lower lip, the doctor made him feel so vulnerable but he nodded. "Dave I think you're suffering from a lot of guilt. I think you try to compensate your lack of confidence by bullying others. I think you're a good person. I'm going to allow the hospital to discharge you, on one condition." Dave held his breath and waited for that doctor to continue "You have to come back here in a week to talk to me, is that clear?" Dave nodded, happy not to have to be committed. "As soon as you finish your treatment you're a free man, we'll call your father and let him know that he can pick you up tonight."

"Thanks Doc" Dave smiled, he knew the world outside the hospital held just as many, if not more problems than he would face inside it, but at least the people in town couldn't say he was sent to the loony bin.

After the doctor left Dave turned on the television, there was nothing good on but he was bored. He ended up turning to a daytime talk show, the lady hosting was talking to some star about their upcoming movie. He had never been a fan of talk shows (mostly because he had been told that it was a faggy thing to watch) but now that he was giving it a chance he almost liked it.

Every once in a while he would get up and stretch his legs. He didn't want to lose his strength just in case he could still be in football. After three days of not moving at all, he could feel a lot of stiffness in them. So much for running a lap around the football field. He settled for walking around his private room.

It wasn't until the tiny nurse came at noon that anything really happened. Dave had just settled back into bed for a rest when the nurse came in with a tray of lunch, only this time the nurse was not alone. "Look Mister Karofsky, you have a visitor!" The visitor smiled at Dave and took a seat next to him, where Dr. Kilgore had sat when he had been there. However that was where the similarities between Dr. Kilgore's visit and this visitor's ended. Dave, instead of feeling somewhat relaxed, felt nervous.

The nurse set down his tray (another disgusting combination of food) but did not look at Dave. She kept her eyes on the visitor, smiling stupidly the way Dave had seen nerds smile at the really attractive people at school. As the nurse left the room she lingered by the door, looking like she was hoping the visitor would say something to her, but the visitor was either ignoring her or didn't notice. Knowing the person, Dave was sure it was the latter.

After the nurse left, Dave's visitor looked at him with a mixture of concern and sadness. The visitor looked at Dave, then the I.V, then Dave, then at Dave's food. "Aren't you going to eat something?"

"Why are you here Mr. Schuester?" Dave asked, not wanting to beat around the bush.

"I came to see how you were; I heard you were in the hospital. I wanted to see if you were okay. Are you okay David?" Mr. Schuester stared at him like he was searching inside his soul for the answer, it made him nervous.

"I'm fine." Dave said flatly.

"How could you, I mean. Why did you do this David?" Mr. Schuester looked so distraught. It was hard for Dave to believe someone could feel emotions like Mr. Schue did.

"Why do you care? Mr. Schuester, I'm not one of your Glee kids. I'm not a family member. I'm not a friend. All I am is your student. That's it."

"David, why wouldn't I worry about you? Everyone is important, everyone is..."

"Oh please don't give me some bullshit about how we're all in this together. This isn't high school musical Mr. Schuester. Shouldn't you be teaching right now? Shouldn't you be worrying about your other students?" Dave looked away from Mr. Schue. He felt his numb defence taking over and he didn't like it.

"It's lunch period. David I like you, I couldn't believe when someone told me that you were here, that you had..."

"Taken a bunch a pills? Went off the deep end? Tried to go out like Romeo? Please enlighten me in what you were told."

"I was told you had tried to kill yourself." Dave swallowed hard, he had been afraid of this. He would have to do major damage control when he got back to school, if he could.

"So what if I did? What the hell did you think you coming over here was going to do?"

"I wanted you to know that I am here for you, that if it was anything I did to pressure you or hurt you I'm sorry. I know I've been pushing you to join the Glee Club but..."

"Jesus! You and this stupid Glee Club. Not everything in the world revolved around your stupid Glee Club."

"I know that. I'm sorry. I was just trying to..."

"Well don't okay." Dave glared at the wall. He hated getting so angry at Mr. Schue, but he didn't understand why he had to come and patronize him.

"David listen, I don't know what's going on with you, but I know that the school needs you. We all need you, you're an important part of the football team, you're..."

"If I'm not on the football team someone will replace me! That's how that works! I'm not indispensible to the school, if you didn't notice I was expelled from that school not too long ago. The school doesn't need me, your Glee kids are probably disappointed I'm not dead right now and you know it. They think I'm scum and up until recently so did you. Don't try and bullshit me, I know what's up. Don't worry, I'm not going to off myself, but don't try and tell me I'm needed. I ain't needed there." He didn't know why, but whenever Mr. Schue was around he always seemed to end up yelling at him, telling him how it is. "I threatened to kill one of your Glee kids remember? I slushie them, called them names, maybe the school would be better off without me. I'm a threat remember? You're just upset because it makes you look bad as a teacher."

Mr. Schuester shook his head. His eyes full of so much sorrow and pity for Dave. It made him feel so dirty for yelling at him, but at the same time he felt as though Mr. Schue needed a reality check. "David, you are important. I'm only upset because I'm looking at a kid that doesn't know how amazing he is, and could be. You don't need to act tough David, you're a strong kid, and I don't mean just physically." He smiled and patted Dave on the knee. Despite his emotional outburst, Dave was glad to see someone cared about him at McKinley (even if he was only pretending). "I hope to see you back at school soon, I miss marking your tests, they were so easy to mark, and hey, maybe when you get back you'll rethink joining Glee Club." Dave laughed to himself, Mr. Schuester sure was persistent.


	23. Chapter 23: Different Perspective

Chapter 23: Different Perspective.

Finn walked into the Glee room absent minded and took his seat. He could hear the regular chatter of the other kids but it all seemed like white noise in his ears. His brain hurt like when he was studying trigonometry notes in the dead quiet of the library but he wasn't. His thoughts were focused on something way more important than numbers or whatever trigonometry was, it was focused on what he had heard during second period Spanish. He had heard Laura Ebberhart tell Kelly Tohms that Michael Muller had seen David Karofsky being taken away by an ambulance. That he had tried to kill himself. That his right guard had tried to kill himself.

He had thought that there was something going on with Karofsky. The way he seemed to be everywhere but here. While he and David weren't friends (at the moment at least) they had been teammates for a long time, and one thing he knew about Karofsky was that he was dedicated. He loved football like some guys loved their cars. He had seen how much it killed him to quit football when it was a choice between humiliation and the game. So when Karofsky started acting like he wasn't into football, he knew something was wrong. If he noticed something was off with someone, something was off. Finn knew that he wasn't the swiftest guy in the world, but when he caught on, he caught on.

He was also hurt. Finn had told David that if anything was wrong, that he should come to him. Yeah, he probably shouldn't have added that part about apologising to Kurt, but he really had meant it. David was a rough guy, and sometimes he totally sucked, but he had also seen the moments when the guy wasn't so bad. He seemed so confident; Finn couldn't understand what would make him want to kill himself. It made Finn so confused; he wondered if Karofsky was going to be okay.

"I'd try to off myself if I looked like a demented cabbage patch doll too." He heard Santana say, breaking through his thoughts. Finn gritted his teeth. Santana could be such a jerk. Nobody but her could find a joke inside someone trying to commit suicide.

"Well, it just sucks for us that he didn't finish the job. I swear when I heard we were Karofsky free I almost sang! God heard our prayers!" Mercedes laughed and he heard her give a high five to someone.

"Amen girl! I hear you." Artie shouted.

"I find it kinda sad." Finn heard Puck say, and Finn smiled to himself. At least Puck could feel some..."that he didn't hire me to kill him, trust me; it would have taken a divine intervention to resurrect that mofo if I'd laid my hands on him."

Finn was about to jump up and start a fight when Mr. Schue came in. Finn was sure that no one would talk like that with Mr. Schue around, or at least, he hoped they wouldn't. "Sorry I'm late guys, I was off visiting someone. I have a new song I would like to practice today I think you're..."

"Oh Mister Schue, don't tell me you were visiting Karofsky?" Mercedes said waving her finger in the air.

"Who are you kidding, of course he did. He would probably nurse rabid chipmunks back to health if they came his way, I mean have you seen his ex wife" Santana commented, pretending to do her nails.

"Yes, I did go see David. I don't see why I shouldn't, he is a member of our community, a part of our school and..."

"Save it Mr. Schue, I mean, it sucks for the football team, we're going to have to get a new right guard if he doesn't come back, but otherwise it's not a huge deal." Sam added his arm around Santana awkwardly.

"Mr. Schue, I personally would like to say to you and the class that I think it is a good thing to show sympathy to someone in need. I mean I always sing to sick children as charity work so that I can see their smiles and give them hope" Rachael said, getting up from her spot at the top of the risers to walk to where the piano was to speak, straightening her yellow plaid skirt." However, I don't think we should be so kind towards David Karofsky. I mean, he tortures Glee Kids; I've had to buy very expensive shampoo to make sure my naturally silky hair doesn't get split ends because of the numerous amounts of times that he has slushied me. Not to mention he drove Kurt out of school with his abuse, and never even apologised. He is a brute and a homophobe and my two gay dads always taught me to stand up against homophobia." At the end of her rant Rachael smiled her usual blinding smile and nodded as though this covered everything needed to be said by anyone on the subject.

"For once I agree with Rachael, Mr. Schue Karofsky has never been anything but horrible to us, why should we care if he's going to the loony bin" said Artie.

"I went into a loonie bin once while I was vacationing in Canada. It wasn't as bad as everyone thinks it is. You can only fit your hands in anyway" Brittney stated, wearing her usual blank expression.

"Most of us Glee kids and losers feel like he got what he deserved." Said Tina, her boyfriend Mike Chang nodding in agreement.

Finn was about to lose it when Mr. Schue slammed his Glee notebook on the piano making a loud sound and causing the other kids to jump with surprise.

"Mr. Schuester, what's wrong with..."

"This is a human being we're talking about! This is a kid that goes to your school. That walks these hallways with you every day!"

"Yeah guys" Finn said, jumping up to stand next to Rachael. Now that Mr. Schue had said something he wanted to get out all his feelings too. "So what if he isn't always the nicest, that still doesn't make the fact that he tried to kill himself okay! All you guys are acting like he's a murderer or something. Seriously, he's a person, a person who obviously didn't see any other way out of his problems other than killing himself."

"Finn's right. He has been hurting, and all you guys can see is your own issues with David, what he's done to you. Not one of you has thought of what kind of pain he must have been going through to try and take his own life."

"He was a pig, a complete misogynist and a total sadist. Why should we feel sorry for him?" said Quinn.

"I can't believe you guys. For a bunch of misfits and outsiders, you sure can be assholes. He's an outsider just like us, only more so because he's stuck on the inside. Uh...well, you know what I'm trying to say!" Finn's anger making him flustered.

"How could you say that when he threatened to kill your own brother?" Rachael screamed "He made fun of him every day, and slammed him into lockers! How can you..."

"And Puck hasn't done worse to half the kids at school? Throwing kids into garbage cans, port-o-potty's, and actually beating the crap out of them?" Finn screamed back.

"Hey man it's different with me; I'm like Elvis, super sexy bad ass one minute, than sultry sexy sweetheart on the guitar the next. The ladies dig it" Puck's sort of girlfriend Lauren snorted and rolled her eyes. "You know you love me."

"The point is, there had been worse done by the members of our own club. It doesn't matter anyway, that doesn't justify making fun of someone for trying to harm themselves. I love Kurt just like all of you do but that doesn't mean someone deserves to feel like they are nothing, that they should die. I wouldn't want someone to say that if any of you..." Finn started to tear up, and turned away from the group. He just couldn't understand why they couldn't see his point. The class was speechless. No one would look at each other.

"David was right." Mr. Schue whispered and shook his head. "He said you would act like this and I didn't believe it, I thought that you would at least...I am extremely disappointed in you guys. Where is the compassion? If we can't have it here, then where is it? I'm sorry, but Glee club today is cancelled. I want you all to find songs about forgiveness for next time." Mr. Schue walked out of the class, Finn saw his only ally leaving, and he wasn't about to stay here and listen to them say anything else bad about Karofsky.

"Finn, I'm sorry I..." he heard Rachael say but he grabbed his bag and took off from the classroom, leaving the rest of the club without words.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Trying to get ready for school, Dave noticed all the changes that had been made at home, and despite being annoyed by them, he was impressed.

When his dad came to get him he had tears in his eyes. The nurse had let out an "aww" when his dad hugged him and told him he had been so worried about him. His dad gave him a shirt and a pair of pants to wear out of the hospital, both things new. While they were signing him out his dad kept thanking the doctors gruffly, shaking their hands, and put his arm around Dave.

It was only when they got to the car and was on the road home did his dad start acting normal. "David, three days. Three days of worry. How was I supposed to focus on work while worrying about you? What the hell were you thinking? Oh never mind, you weren't thinking. Accidental overdose? Now everyone thinks you tried to kill yourself. You've only made trouble for yourself David. Now you have to see that psychiatrist, I'm sure they'll make you see the school guidance councillor, what will Universities think? They look at this kind of thing when they are accepting applications you know?" He paused and looked at Dave for a moment, then sighed. "Don't worry son, I have made sure nothing like this can happen again, not in my house."

He certainly had taken care of everything. The window he had broken had been replaced with shatter proof glass. All his razors had been thrown out and replaced with the pink girl ones that women used with that weird Veet stuff. After three days in the hospital stubble had begun to grow on his face.

All knives had been locked up, as well as the scissors, and any pain killers had been removed from any place Dave could get them. When he looked in his closet he was surprised to find that his ties were still there. Dave guessed his father hadn't thought of that, or else he was willing to risk his son's life for style.

The only sharp thing that he had access to was his football cleats, which (though he wasn't thinking of doing anything) he was pretty sure couldn't kill him anyway.

What he found strange was that his father had moved his computer to a little desk in from of his father's office. This meant that he couldn't do anything on it that his father would deem inappropriate (meaning anything that didn't have something to do with school) if he was home. He wasn't sure how he could kill himself with a computer, but he didn't think that that had anything to do with it.

Dave finished his pathetic shave and washed his face. He put on a nice shirt, but not too nice. He wanted to look good on his first day back to school, but not like he was trying to look good. He wanted to look like nothing really happened. That he was fine, and felt fine. When he had finally dressed, he looked himself over in the mirror. He still looked tired and drawn, there were huge dark circles around his eyes, and his face was a little paler than usual. The shadow on his face would make some guys look cool, but on Karofsky's baby face it made him look messy. He knew this was the best it was going to get and smiled at himself, trying to raise his own confidence, then went out to his car.

His dad had left him his car so that he didn't have to worry about driving Dave to school. He was thankful for this. As much as he wanted to get back to his fellow students, and show that he wasn't crazy or anything, he didn't want them to ambush him on the bus. Especially since most of his friends had their own vehicle, so it would be a bunch of freshmen who had heard about him.

He parked in front of the school, and checked his appearance before getting out. It didn't help much, but he was able to tell himself to suck it up and get out there. Squaring his shoulders and taking a deep, encouraging breath he stepped out of the car. Preparing himself for the stares and the comments that would soon barrage him.

Dave walked down the hall with his head held high, but not too high. It was like the shirt, if he looked like he was trying too hard they would slaughter him, he just needed to look confident enough to ward off the week nerds that he would normally beat up from taking jabs at him.

He ignored all the whispering around him as he walked to him locker. There some wise guy had pasted a noose and the words "Try again" were spray painted in black; he rolled his eyes and opened his locker. He could feel his anger inside him but he attempted to keep it buried. It would only make them happy if he was angry, and he certainly didn't want that.

"Hey Karofsky, good luck next time champ!" Someone yelled out to him. He rolled his eyes again, pretending he couldn't give less of a damn, it stung though.

"Aww, look it's the little baby. Couldn't handle a little heat" yelled another person. He just kept his head looking forward, past everyone. Suddenly his eyes were covered with an icy burning. He blinked twice and wiped his eyes, he heard his fellow hockey players laugh and walk away, but Dave refused to just stand there. He kept walking as though it didn't sting, as though he was so above whatever they did that he didn't even take notice to it, but inside he wanted to punch them in the face, that and drowned his sorrows in a big Mac or two. He would wait until lunch for that though.

He saw Azimio in the hall, and caught his eye. He didn't want to be the first to acknowledge him, and he was glad he hadn't. Azimio looked away and walked in the opposite direction of his class. He didn't want to talk to him. Dave pushed it down with the rest of the hurt; it was going to be okay.

"Karofsky you look like shit" someone yelled out to him. Dave fought back the urge to yell back 'thanks for the obvious'.

When he walked into his first period class he accidently caught the eye of Rachel Berry, she was staring at him with a look he couldn't decipher, but he knew she didn't like him, so it could have just been hate. He wasn't sure. He could feel his shoulders slumping. His teacher met him before he took his seat. "Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell wants to see you right now." Dave smiled at the teacher, which he never did, and said okay.

He didn't want to go to the guidance office though. It only made the kids in his class snicker as he left, and whisper more. There was nothing he could do about that though. He wasn't about to disobey a teacher now, he didn't need any more trouble.

He walked into Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell's office while she was organizing the pamphlets that she kept in her office. Before, Dave would have rolled his eyes at the obviously O.C.D guidance councillor, he never understood why a psycho would be giving advice to students when she could barely control her own problems, but now he realised he couldn't judge her on something like that.

"Oh, you startled me David, please sit down" Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell said, gesturing to the chairs in front of her desk while reaching behind her to get a pamphlet for him. She set it down in front of him as he sat down, it read 'Knives, Ropes, and Revolvers: Don't be the culprit in your own game of clue" he fought the feeling to burst out laughing. "So how are you feeling today David?"

"Did you drag me out of class to ask me how I'm feeling" David asked, taking the pamphlet of the table and stuffing it in his pocket.

"Well, um, not entirely, but I guess part of the reason is yes. Yes, I wanted to see how you were doing. This has obviously been a hard time for you." Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell looked at him with her doe-eyed Bambi look and half smiled, as though unsure whether she should. David thought she was adorable, and couldn't find the nerve to be annoyed with her.

"I'm fine, thanks. I just want to get back to my routine."

"Well, you know, that isn't always the best idea, it might bring back feelings that made you want to, do. Do what you did, again. You should read the pamphlet. You need to make healthy decisions to, you know, change your life, in a good way." She gave him a friendly nod. "Would you like to talk about anything?" She asked encouragingly. Dave hesitated, Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell was friends with Mr. Schuester, and he wasn't too sure she wouldn't say anything to him. "Oh, its okay, you can talk to me."

"Well, um, it's just..." just as he began to talk her heard a slam on the glass behind him. He looked back and saw some guy pretending to choke himself with a rope; the dude laughed and high fived his buddies, walking away "well that" he said pointing outside.

Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell shook her head with disappointment "I don't know how anyone, can mock this kind of situation. Teenagers are very vicious, but um, you should definitely just stay strong, and um, show them that they can't hurt you. Or maybe, you could always start making a lot of jokes, people seem to respond well to humour."

"Uh thanks" Dave said, semi confused. He got up from the chair awkwardly and started walking out of the office.

"Just stop in if you need to talk David."

"Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell, could I ask you something?"

"Well sure, I mean you just did but sure."

"What's it like to have everyone think you're crazy?"

"Not as bad as you would think, as long as you know you're not"

Dave walked out of the office, thinking about her answer. He began walking down the hall when someone walked the in opposite direction and smirked at him, not saying anything, but he knew that they were laughing at him. He felt a wave of tiredness come over him; he definitely didn't not feel crazy right now. He decided he would go to McDonald's for some breakfast and come back for second period, for some reason he was really hungry, even hungrier than before, and he didn't want to walk into class right in the middle of a lesson anyway. He didn't need any more unwanted attention today.__

_**(A.N: Just to ensure that no one worries about this, don't worry; the reaction of Kurt shall come. Don't worry, I just wanted to show the first day back at school first, as you can tell, I like development chapters).**_


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 26

_**(A.N: There are many exclamation points in this chapter).**_

Dave lay on his bed with a bag of chips after school; he had bought them at a convenience store before going home. He had had a bad day, and since he wasn't going to be drinking anytime soon he needed a way to get out his frustration. He wasn't about to beat someone up right now either, and he was too tired to train, so that left eating, though he knew binge eating was almost as bad as binge drinking. At least this thing couldn't poison him right away.

His day hadn't gotten any better after breakfast. In fact, somehow it had gotten worse. He had been pushed into a couple lockers, slushied three times, and mocked mercilessly, but at the same time he couldn't feel sorry for himself. If it hadn't been him, if it had been someone else a couple months ago, a couple days ago he would have been right along with the others.

He had seen Finn trying to catch his eye in the hall, but he wanted to avoid any of the Glee kids. While the cruelness of the others was bearable, he couldn't imagine the ruthlessness of the people who suffered the worst of his abuse. He had been surprised that none of them (other than Finn) had tried to talk (or mock) him. He had been positive that Puckerman would be the first to rag on him about his little incident, but nothing. That at least was a relief.

He was also surprised at Mr. Schuester. He had assumed that he would be up in his face when he got back, trying to get him to join Glee and trying to "connect" with him, but he hadn't. All he had said was "Welcome back" and smiled at him. It had definitely been the high point of his day. It was so simple, the words didn't ask anything of him, or insulted him, or made him feel bad. There was nothing behind the words but kindness; he could feel that, it was a nice feeling.

His hand hit the bottom of the bag making a crinkling sound. He stared down into it in disbelief; it didn't seem like that long ago that he had started eating them. He sighed and heaved himself off the bed, crumbs falling to the floor. He was still hungry, and still hurt.

He walked downstairs, into the kitchen, and opened the fridge. As always there wasn't a lot in there expect microwave dinners, singles cheese, and a couple of vegetables. Gone was the usual bottles of beer, his dad didn't want any temptation around Dave, he probably had them hidden somewhere. He was sure his father wouldn't have stopped drinking himself. Dave didn't want a drink though he had decided it was stupid; something he always knew about himself was that when he decided something he never turned back, it was only the decision process that was hard on him.

He looked in the cupboards and found a bag of cookies. That would settle him for sure. He wouldn't eat them all, but he took the whole bag anyway, and walked back upstairs. When he flopped back down on his bed he heard the click of his front door opening. Dave closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath in, then opened his eyes again ripping open the bag with his teeth, trying to convince himself he hadn't heard anything.

He heard the fridge open, than heard a mumble that sounded like a curse. "Where the fuck is the fuckin' beer?" Dave let out a few of his own choice words quietly. He didn't need this today. Dave knew there was no hope that his Uncle may think no one was home, his truck was in the drive way.

He heard stomping on the stairs and quickly stuffed the cookie package behind his pillow and got up, walking to the closet, pretending to look through his clothes. He heard his door open with a bang, and turned around in fake surprise.

"Well, if it isn't the psycho kid. It cause of you that there ain't no beer? I heard you had yourself a little party." His Uncle's eyes looked sharper and more focused on him then they had ever been. Dave looked down at his Uncle's shoes; his eyes making Dave feel as though Uncle Jake was trying to make him explode with his mind.

"I'm not a psycho" he murmured.

"Oh no, well what would you call it David, huh Davey boy? What would you call this little situation you got yourself into then? Tell me, what I call you David, cause it ain't balanced, that ain't it."

Dave twiddled his thumbs nervously pushing down feelings of anger and fear "It was a mistake, that's all." His Uncle laughed a deep laugh that resonated throughout the room. It made Dave stand up straighter.

"Oh is that what it is? Well, we can't always atone for such sins David. You're only lucky you're still here, means you didn't commit a terrible crime, at least not completely. You're lucky that you can atone for this, and I'll help you with that." Dave looked up at his Uncle for a second, he had a smile on his face, but it wasn't a warm smile.

"It was just an accident; I didn't mean anything by it. I had a..."

"Do you think I'm stupid Davey? You've been acting like a little fairy for weeks. I can see right through you, and I see a sinner. I see a young man that has committed sins. Now I'm trying to help you the easy way, but I can make this hard. All you need to do is confess your sins." Dave nodded, if it would stop his Uncle's ranting he would go confess his sins to a priest.

"Alright, let's go." His Uncle shook his head, pointing to himself. "You're not a priest." He felt the sting before his eyes could comprehend what happened. His Uncle's hand lingered near his cheek, waiting to strike again.

"You want to confess to some fag priest who isn't even your own blood. What, am I dirt to you? If you can confess your sins to him, you can confess your sins to me. That's the rules here. You take it, or I show you the other way." He stared at Dave fiercely, Dave tried to look away but his Uncle grabbed his face and snapped it to look him straight in the eyes. "Make your decision."

Dave wasn't about to confess his sins to his Uncle, he shook his head in his Uncle's hand, and before he knew it he was laying across his bed, his Uncle on top of him, fists hitting face. His Uncle's elbow hit his pillow, knocking it to the ground, revealing the bag of cookies that hide underneath. "Gluttony too. Oh Davey, you're really pushing it." Dave took the pause in fighting to get up, his Uncle dropping to the floor. Dave ran for the door. He wasn't going to take this.

Flinging the door open Dave ran for the stairs, his Uncle beating him to it, pushing him down. He ignored the pain as he fell. When he reached the bottom, face first, he felt his Uncle's foot jam into his stomach, turning him on his back. Dave squinted up at his Uncle as he felt another kick, and heard the front door open.

"Good evening Jake" he heard his father say to his brother. "David, why are you lying on the floor?"

"I'm teaching the kid a lesson Pauly; he won't confess his sins, so I'm giving him his punishment" his Uncle said as though this was a rational thought, as though this was the logical solution. He gave David another swift kick in the stomach, David curled up in pain.

"David, why don't you just confess your sins and stop being silly, denying anything only makes you seem guiltier anyway. Just tell you Uncle what he wants to know and get it over with." Dave's emotions started to bubble up, he could feel numbness taking over him. He jumped up, forgetting about the pain and walked up to his dad.

At least before his dad hadn't acknowledged that his Uncle had beaten him, that his Uncle yelled at him and made him feel so small. With him pretending not to hear it Dave could imagine that his Dad would say something if he knew, that he wouldn't let this go on if he knew. The way his dad sloughed it off though, as if he was just a toy, or a dust bunny. It made Dave livid. He was tired of feeling like nothing, and his family enforcing that. "Why should I? Who is he to push me around and beat me up? I'm your son! Don't you care that someone is beating up your son?"

"Watch your mouth Davey!" His Uncle yelled, walking up behind him.

"Please David, don't..."

"What? Don't what? Don't have a backbone? Don't stand up for myself? What?" His father started walking away towards his office, and David followed, wiping some blood from his nose on his sleeve. "Don't walk away from me! What do you have to do that is more important than your only son?" His father turned around, his eyes a softer version of his brother's.

"The job that paid for your little stint in the hospital. The job that paid for your precious car. The job that probably paid for all the booze you downed that's what I have to do! That's what I have to do every day!" His father spun around and sped to his office. Dave followed him, his Uncle staying where he was for once. As his father entered the office and went to slam the door, Dave held his hand out, the door hitting it hard. He walked in and closed the door behind him.

"That's all you give a shit about is your stupid fucking job! Why did you even bother having children? Did you think I was going to be a little you? Or was it a slip up with a Trojan?"

His dad stared at him. "That's not fair! What has gotten into you lately? You've been so melodramatic. This isn't like you. Ever since that homo..."

"Don't even start that! This has been going on much longer than that; you just never had to deal with it! You just live in your own stupid world and ah! Ah, you just, you don't listen, you don't care!" Dave held back tears; this was not a time for crying, he closed his eyes.

"Well I'm listening now, what is so important? Well? Huh, what's so important then? What is it! What? What is it? What in God's..."

"I'm gay! I'm fucking gay you son of a bitch! Your son's a fag that's what's so important." The world was quiet for a moment as all the pent up feelings poured from Dave's body, the numbness giving way to them. For a moment Dave felt amazing, than he opened his eyes and looked at his father's face.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

_**(A.N:**_ _**And they all live happily ever after, the end. Okay no, sorry. Just to give you a small picture of the chapter coming up, I was listening to Happy days are here/ get happy while I was writing this. That and Le jazz hot, Glee versions obviously. Didn't help).**_

"What did you say?"

Dave stared in shock at his words. He couldn't speak, all the confidence of the moment had left his body when he saw his dad's face. His teeth were clenched and his eyes were so narrowed that they looked almost closed. For once his father's full attention was on him, and it wasn't a good thing. He knew his father had barely heard him say 'son of a bitch' or 'fuck', all his dad had heard was the word that would define the next moments. All he heard was the word 'gay'.

He heard his Uncle open the door to the office, blocking Dave from leaving easily. It was so quiet but it felt like a million people were talking at once. There was more tension in the room than carbon and oxygen combined; he felt it seep into his lungs. His eyes were wide with fear. Even if he had planned on coming out (which he hadn't) this was certainly the wrong way to have done it, but he couldn't undo it, and he knew that.

"What's going on?" His Uncle asked, and Dave began to tremble. All the nightmares that had kept him awake at night were flooding into his reality. There was no simple way out of this, no way out of this at all.

"I said, I said I'm gay" Dave's eyes were burning. The tears kept threatening to spill out but he knew that would only make things worse. He felt the wind leave his body as he was knocked to the floor. He felt his Uncle's knee in his chest and the pounding of knuckles on his cheek and nose, blood flowing from his body.

"Queer! Queer! Queer!" His Uncle kept screaming. Dave kicked his Uncle in the crotch, his Uncle screaming in pain. Dave took a quick glance at his dad, his eyes were now out of focus and his mouth made a perfect O. Dave ran out of the room quickly, running upstairs. He grabbed his backpack and stuffed whatever clothes he could grab from his closet. His Uncle slammed into the room. He ran at Dave, swinging his fists at him, trying to hit wherever he could. This time Dave was faster, he blocked his Uncle's punches and pushed him to the ground, trying to get away.

His Uncle grabbed his ankles as he tried to leave, sending Dave tumbling to the ground. His chin hit the floor hard, his bag dropping in front of him. His Uncle got up and kicked him over and over again. Dave managed to turn over and grabbed his Uncle's leg, sending him flying to the floor again with a loud thump. Dave clambered up, grabbing his bag and running for the stairs. As he got close to the bottom he heard his Uncle stomping behind him. Without a second thought he jumped down to the ground, his legs buckling for a second, but was able to stabilize himself.

His dad stood in the foyer, his eyes still not seeing anything. It was almost as though he wasn't there. It stopped Dave; he needed to hear his dad say something. "Dad? Dad please." He wanted his dad to say that it was going to be okay, his Uncle barrelled behind him. Tackling him from behind, slamming his face into the marble. He could feel the blood dripping from his face. He clutched his bag tight.

"My brother doesn't have any fag sons! My brother doesn't have any fag sons! My brother doesn't have any fag sons!" Uncle Jake pulled the hair on Dave's head. Dave screamed out in pain and struggled against his Uncle. As strong as his Uncle was Dave had his youth and his football training (not to mention his years of bullying). He got up from under him and kicked Jake in the side hard. His father still stood there like nothing was going on. Dave shook his father, trying anything to get him out of his trance. He just needed something, anything. His dad finally stared at him, his eyes looking straight through Dave's.

"Get out of my house."

Dave didn't need any more prompt than that. He pushed his feet into shoes as he heard his Uncle get up behind him. Dave rushed outside, fumbling in jacket to get his keys out of his pocket. He rushed to the driver's side of his car, throwing his bag on the passenger's seat. His Uncle rushed out, running not to Dave's car, but his own. Dave rammed his key into the ignition and started the car up. He set it quickly into reverse and started backing up without checking his rear view mirror. He felt his body jump into the air, and heard the airbag release, the big dangerous white pillow exploding in his face. He looked in the mirror quick and saw his Uncle's truck behind him, blocking his exit plan.

Dave kicked open his door and grabbed his bag, and then ran. He ran twice as fast as he ever had in football, finally understanding what it meant to run for your life. His Uncle had really meant it when he said if he ever had a boy who was gay he would kill him. He knew he was much faster than his Uncle, and in his attempts to stop Dave, he had also stopped himself from being able to drive after him. He was free for now, and that was all that mattered.

Dave ran on the side of the road until he couldn't run anymore, than started to limp. His face was bleeding profusely and his body ached. He ripped a part of his shirt and rubbed it against his face then held it where it was bleeding the most. He was sure he had a couple broken ribs, but he couldn't worry about that now.

Dave walked until he came up to a gas station. He walked up to it and walked in. He went up to the cashier "Bathroom key?"

"Are you okay sir?" The cashier asked, worried. "Do you need me to call an ambulance?"

"No, I just need to use the bathroom please." The cashier looked nervous but gave him the key. Dave had been to this gas station a couple times so he knew where the bathroom was. He locked the door behind him and sat on the toilet. His whole body shuddered from pain, but happy to rest for a moment. He took shallow breaths, hoping to get a little air in his lungs, but it hurt to breath. He had luckily been through similar injuries in football.

After a small rest he limped over to the bathroom mirror. He could now see why the cashier looked so nervous. His whole face was red, and black. His eyes were swollen and he had huge gashes on his cheek, head and bottom lip. Keeping the tears of pain back he washed his face, cleaning out the wounds with the pink bathroom soap. He couldn't stitch anything up, but he was pretty sure he had about ten bucks in his bag for a box of bandages.

He cleaned himself enough that he no longer looked like the victim in a horror film, and changed his shirt. He walked slowly back into the gas station, saving his strength in case he needed it later. The cashier seemed to be relieved he was no longer covered in blood. Blood still dripped from his head so Dave asked for some bandages. "Sure, sure" said the cashier, grabbing them from one of the shelves. "No, they are free" the cashier said as Dave went for him money, Dave smiled a bit and grabbed the free gift.

He went outside and wrapped his head, then painfully lifted his shirt to wrap some around his rib cage. It was a shoddy job but it was the best he could do for now.

Dave began wandering down the road again. He didn't know where he was going to go, he didn't have anywhere to go, and he didn't have enough money to get a motel room, the result of his last drinking excursion. For the first time in a long time though, he was happy. It felt weird to him, that he was happy when he was banged up and homeless, basically running for his life, but for the first time in his life he felt real, there was no numbness.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Different Perspective

_**(A.N: Okay, okay. Here is the reaction you've all been waiting for. Sorry that my Kurt is a little watered down, I'm just not fabulicious like he is**__**. Also I changed the end a bit.)**_

Kurt sat in front of his vanity putting on foundation softly and slowly. He didn't want to rush perfection, and he always wanted to look perfect. He liked when he was able to look in the mirror and grin, imaging he was a huge star in a Broadway production of something (he always changed the name of the musical, sometimes creating his own specifically for himself). He was also going to the movies with Blaine, and though Blaine didn't seem to care how perfect his skin looked, he still wanted it to look perfect for him.

As the song changed from "Laisse tomber les filles" by France Gall to "Make it gay" from the Producers, Kurt heard a slight noise downstairs. He knew his father would still be at work, as would Carole, and Finn had football practices on Tuesdays after school, so panic began stirring in his heart. What if he was being robbed? It seemed irrational but Kurt couldn't get the thought out of his mind. He turned off the music and grabbed one of his handheld mirrors, walking slowly out of his room, down the stairs, and followed the sound into the kitchen.

The robber stood in front of the fridge, and the figure made Kurt sigh in relief. "Finn, what are you doing home?"

Finn turned around with his usual bashful expression, a glass of milk in his hand, and something in his cheek, making him look like a frightened chipmunk. Kurt smiled internally, remembering the days when he would have swooned at the sight of Finn like this. Kurt gestured him to the counter to sit down, and Finn gratefully lumbered over, setting his milk down and taking a big swallow of whatever was in his mouth.

"Practice was cancelled today." Finn said, looking down at the table, something obviously on his mind. Whenever Finn was upset his brow become furrowed, and he often stared at things intensely as though the inanimate object was magically going to start singing and dancing.

"What's up?" Kurt asked innocently. Trying not to make Finn spill his guts, but really wanting to know what was going on. Half out of deep concern for his step-brother, half out of deep need to know everyone's business.

"Why would you think anything was wrong?" Finn asked miserably. He looked up at Kurt with his sad puppy dog eyes.

"If your eyes got any bigger they would no longer be able to fit on your face. If you keep furrowing your eyebrows like that you'll have permanent wrinkles there, and I don't think Botox would enhance your appearance any." Kurt laughed and smiled at Finn. "Come on, you know you want to share."

Finn shook his head; it was odd for him to keep stuff from Kurt. He had been telling Kurt about his problems long before they had become brothers in law. The only time he ever kept things from him, or didn't mention something was when it would hurt his feelings, or when it was about...

"What did Karofsky do this time?" Kurt sighed, sitting down in his own seat now. He had been trying to avoid the name Karofsky all weekend, even when Mercedes, Rachel, and Tina had called him to tell him some juicy piece of information about him. He had refused to hear it, still shaken about Thursday. He even hadn't checked his e-mail or Facebook because he knew the gossip would probably be posted there too. However if it was bothering Finn this much he was willing to hear about it. "Is he spreading some nasty rumour about me?"

Finn looked confused "Why would he do that?" Kurt laughed slightly, rolling his eyes at his step brother's naivety.

"Because Finnocence, he's a pig skinned cretin who's probably taken a one too many blows to the head" Finn, who usually got a kick out of his inventive insults, looked as though he had just insulted Finn himself rather than a defective bully. "That and I refused to accept his pathetic excuse for an apology."

"He tried to apologise to you? You didn't tell me this! When?" Finn semi screamed, getting up from his seat, his face serious, looking much taller than 6'3.

"Thursday, he came to Dalton. I was upset about it, anyway I was out all weekend with Blaine, I wouldn't have had time to tell you." Finn started pacing; he put his head in his hands, looking like he was going crazy.

"Jesus Kurt, I can't..." Kurt put his hand on his hip and glared at Finn, there was no way he wouldn't tell him what was going on. Finn took a deep breath, smacked himself, and rubbed his five head. "Karofsky tried to commit suicide Thursday night, he was okay, he was at school yesterday, but now he's missing again. Brian Sherman said he heard a crash at the Karofsky house, and that there was a small accident, but no one has seen or heard anything from him. I know you hate him Kurt, but Jesus he's my teammate, and I don't know if he's alive." Finn started to cry; he slumped back into his chair and put his head on the counter. Kurt stared out into nowhere.

Everything became dark in Kurt's eyes, like when the spotlight was on him during a performance. He couldn't move, the shock taking over him. He could feel a build up behind his eyes, and could feel his eyes widening. He hadn't had this kind of reaction to anything since Puck had made him watch two girls one cup, only this time he wasn't shocked out of pure disgust.

Kurt had hoped Dave would die millions of times. The closeted Biff Tannen was everything Kurt wasn't, and liked to shove that in his face. He made Kurt's life unbearable, and made him feel drawn and gray, but Kurt always expected this was because the boy was arrogant and had delusions of grandeur. He thought he didn't care one bit about Karofsky, yet hearing this news Kurt felt like someone had just told him Patti LuPone had died, and that it was his fault.

Kurt couldn't help think it was his fault. When Karofsky had come to see him Kurt had immediately gone for the jugular. He hadn't been willing to hear anything he had to say. He had taken his stumbling as fallaciousness, that he was only apologising so the Glee football players would be nice to him or something like that. The fact that he had had his apology written down only seemed to enforce his suspicion. He didn't even seem able to apologise which made Kurt feel as though Karofsky wasn't sorry at all. He had run away in tears, flustered by his appearance at his safe haven. It had taken three Grande non-fat Mochas to calm him down. Now though, he looked back and saw Karofsky's scared expression, his desperateness. He tried to kill himself on the day he tried to apologise. The day he had tried to talk to Kurt and Kurt had just ignored him. What if that had sent him over the edge, what if it was because of him that someone had tried to take their own life.

He didn't understand why he cared so much. He hated Karofsky more than he hated Rachel's outfits but he was still distressed over this piece of news. He should have been happy to hear that his mortal enemy had been knocked off his pedestal, and was feeling just like he had made Kurt feel, but he wasn't. He couldn't be happy for the life of him that Karofsky had tried to kill himself. It made him sick to his stomach as his mind flashed through pictures of Karofsky. He could see the kiss they had shared, the way Karofsky looked so angry when Kurt had pushed him away, or was it hurt? Everything was flooding back, and Kurt struggled not to cry like Finn.

He heard the doorbell ring, and willed himself to get up and get it. He snapped himself out of the darkness and opened the door. There stood Blaine, a big smile on his face, his eyes light with happiness. Suddenly he felt silly for feeling so upset; Karofsky was an asshole, why should he feel guilty.

"You ready to go?" Kurt nodded, excited to get away from any feeling of guilt, or remorse. He walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to Finn. Finn looked at Kurt with red eyes, and concern.

"You going out?" Talking regularly, the tears now gone from his eyes.

"Yeah" "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be this upset, I just can't believe this could happen. That I let this happen." Kurt nodded; he understood somehow what Finn was feeling. "Are you going to be alright?"

"I'm fine" Kurt said, walking out and grabbing his blue Marc Jacobs coat, deep down however he could still feel a tiny bit of sadness, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake it off.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"Come on, come on, come on!" Burt Hummel yelled from the bottom of the stairs. His excitement was apparent in his voice. Finn laughed and ran down the stairs, glad from some distraction from his own worries. Burt smiled when he saw Finn, his step father adorning his usual baseball cap. "If we don't get there in time all the lanes will be taken."

"Burt, do you know where my coat is?"

"It's hung up in the closet Carole" Finn heard Kurt say, Finn looked up at the top of the stairs where Kurt was slowly sauntering down. Finn jumped down and stood by Burt. He had remembered what today was and was already to go, semi-pumped for the event. Kurt however did not seem nearly as thrilled as the two guys, guys.

"Do we really have to go through with this" Kurt moaned, reaching the bottom of the stairs and smoothing a part of his hair.

"Of course, Friday night bowling has become the new tradition. Its fun right Finn." Finn nodded, never having a dad to enjoy this kind of thing, he loved having someone to share a game and a laugh with.

"I don't think any game that demands you wear someone else's shoes should be considered fun. Especially hideous shoes like that." Kurt rolled his eyes "Anyway the only ones in the family good at it are you and Finn, no offense Carole."

"None taken Kurt honey, but let's humour the boys. I haven't seen Finn this happy all week" Finn's mom looked him over with concern. Finn knew his mother had been worried about him all week, as had Burt. He hadn't eaten much, nor did much, he hated keeping them worried but he didn't want to talk to them about what was wrong, he was afraid of what Burt would say, Burt wasn't a fan of Karofsky.

"Fine" Kurt said mock annoyed, but Finn knew Kurt had just as much fun as he did, even if he had to wear other people's shoes. As they were walking out the door he heard Burt say.

"You know they disinfect the shoes right?"

"How would you like it if I cleaned your plates that way" was Kurt's reply. Finn smiled, as unsure he had been about the Hummel's at first, he now couldn't imagine his life without them. It sounded like a corny line from one of the movies Quinn and Rachel use to make him watch (not at the same time of course) but it was true.

It was raining hard outside, Finn was glad it hadn't rained this morning when he was at practice. He didn't mind rain, but it wasn't always enjoyable when trying to safely bring a ball from one side of the field to the other without fumbling. The thought of practice made him a little sad though, they had had to use replacement right guard for practice until Karofsky had come back, no one had heard from him yet. He had been gone three days, three days with no contact with anyone from McKinley. It meant one thing though; it meant he wasn't at the hospital, which kept Finn's hopes up.

Finn got into the backseat with Kurt, Kurt behind his mom and him behind Burt, that way he and Burt could talk about football and girls while the other two could talk about whatever they talked about. Finn really wasn't sure what they talked about, he never really listened.

As they were driving, Finn could see a figure walking down the road. He felt bad because it was really raining out there, and the person didn't have an umbrella, and seemed to only be wearing a hoodie and a red jacket. Finn squinted at the figure; he recognized the jacket from somewhere but he was trying to figure out from where. "Hey, isn't that a McKinley jacket?" Burt commented, nodding his head towards the person. Finn smacked himself on the head, of course it was. He recognized it because he wore one almost every day. How could he be so stupid?

"Aw, Burt maybe we should stop and ask if they need a lift" his mom said with obvious motherly concern. Finn loved his mom, always looking after people.

"I'll jump out Burt; it's not a big deal."

"I don't know" Burt said warily "We don't know who it could be, they could have graduated or something." Burt started driving past the person; Finn looked back, trying to see if he could recognize the person. The walker looked up at the sight of the car, giving Finn a quick look at his face before the person looked back down. Finn's heart stopped as he realised who was out there, his mouth dropped.

"Burt! Burt pull over." Finn begged, spinning himself around to face his step-father.

"Honey what's wrong?" His mother asked worried. Finn didn't speak out much; he was usually a pretty quiet guy, especially at home, so when he got excited it usually meant something.

"I know the guy out there, please we have to stop!" Finn was practically jumping out of his seat, ripping at his belt. Burt hadn't pulled over yet so Finn repeated himself "We have to stop Burt, he's my teammate!"

"Who is it?" Burt asked, but Finn didn't want to tell him. He hoped if he just stopped he would feel a moral obligation to give him a ride. If Finn told him who it was he could pretend he never saw the kid and keep driving. "Finn, who is it?"

"Honey what's wrong..." his mother had turned around in her seat to look at him, and Kurt was staring at him too. Finn swallowed and hoped that Burt wouldn't murder him, or not talk to him or something worse.

"It's, it's Karofsky. Please we have to stop" Finn talking quickly when he said Karofsky's name.

"Isn't that the boy who bullied Kurt, the boy who threatened to kill Kurt?" Burt asked enraged. "No, he can catch pneumonia for all I care; there is no way he is getting in this car."

"Burt, he's only a kid. Be reasonable, don't you think..." his mother started.

"No! No, I don't want that punk anywhere near my boy. There is no way. I can't believe you would even think about stopping for that boy Finn, you know what he did to Kurt."

"Dad, its okay, if you get worked up your going to hurt yourself. Finn could sit in between us; it's not a big deal. It is raining out there. Didn't you always tell me to stand up to your enemies and show them they can't hurt you?" Finn was gratefully surprised that Kurt agreed with him. If Burt didn't stop the car Finn would have to jump out and do a barrel roll, because there was no way he could let Karofsky go.

"Burt, please, I don't like what this kid did to Kurt anymore than you do. Wouldn't you want someone to stop for Finn or Kurt if they were out in weather like this?" His mom looked at Burt with warm eyes and he knew he had him. Burt sighed and backed up a bit, then pulled over. He reached into the glove compartment and pulled out an umbrella. "We will drive him where ever he needs to go, but I don't like this."

Finn grabbed the umbrella and jumped out of the car. Burt had backed up enough that Karofsky was close enough to run to. "Hey! Hey!" Finn screamed, hoping he would see him and run over so they could both get out of the rain fast. Burt yelled something at Finn but he couldn't hear it, he was focusing all his energy on Karofsky who seemed to be limping. Impatient Finn ran up to meet him, blocking him from moving any further without having to side step.

"What do you want Hudson?" Karofsky asked gruffly, looking at his shoes.

"Uh...it's raining..." Finn said dimly.

"I realise that, you know you have an umbrella right?" Karofsky asked, pointing to the object in Finn's hand. Finn laughed at himself and opened it up, putting it over himself and trying to cover Karofsky.

"Yeah, I guess you did. Uh, do you need a ride somewhere man?" Finn asked, trying to get another look at Karofsky's face but he shifted so his whole face was covered.

"No" he said even gruffer, he tried to walk past Finn but Finn blocked his way.

"Where are you walkin' too?"

"Nowhere" he tried to walk past Finn again but his limp slowed him down, and Finn blocked him away. He couldn't let Karofsky go anywhere, he wanted to know where he had been, and it was freezing out in the rain.

"Come man, just tell me. You have to be going somewhere." Out of nowhere Karofsky pushed Finn, not hard, but enough to make Finn slightly off balance and allowing Karofsky to get by. Finn heard the car door open and stomping on the road. He heard another door open, and more feet.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Burt screamed at Karofsky, Finn turned to see his livid face, the face he had made when he had called Kurt's stuff Faggy.

"Dad don't!" Kurt shouted, walking up behind him, putting a hand on Burt's shoulder. Karofsky just kept his head down and didn't say anything. "Come on, you'll work yourself up over nothing."

"No, this punk just pushed Finn after he offered to help him out. What, our car not good enough for you? Afraid you'll catch some gay disease or something." Finn looked at Karofsky, waiting for him to get angry, or defensive, but he didn't. He just stood with his head down. He stared to walk around Burt but Burt stopped him from going.

"I don't need a ride, thanks anyway." He heard Karofsky murmur; he had never heard Karofsky so quiet in his life. The guy was always screaming and hollering it gave Finn a weird feeling in his stomach like when he ate too much pizza in one sitting.

"Come on Karofsky, your limping; at least let us drive you..."

"I don't have anywhere to go Hudson!" Karofsky screamed, turning to fast to talk to Finn and stumbling. Finn ran over and grabbed him by the arm, Karofsky hissed in pain. Karofsky's hood was sent back and Finn could see his face clearly. His whole face was a mess of bruises and scars; it reminded him of some action film he had seen. It looked horrible, and Finn was a football player so he had seen injuries before. He had only seen injuries much worse than this once, and that kid was paralysed now.

"Jesus what happened to you?" Finn gasped, not knowing what else to say. He hoped Karofsky hadn't done this to himself.

"Forget it okay" Karofsky tried to steady himself and walk away but Finn held on to him.

"What do you mean you don't have anywhere to go" Burt asked, he was still in defence mode, and still obviously angry but his fatherly instincts were kicking in.

"I mean what I said; I don't have anywhere to go." Karofsky looked ashamed, as though he had just said he had been staring at some girl's breasts, and not that he was wandering the streets alone.

"What about home?" Finn asked, knowing that Karofsky's dad was some sort of lawyer.

"I don't have one" Karofsky said, exasperated and weary. He sounded exhausted, Finn looked over at Burt, and though Burt still looked angry, he also looked sympathetic.

"Dad..." Kurt said, staring at Karofsky with an expression Finn couldn't read.

"Burt, we should..." Finn said, he didn't want his teammate, his suicidal teammate, to be alone, in the rain, by himself, with nowhere to go. He just couldn't fail Karofsky again.

"Well, we ain't going bowling tonight. Get in the car; you can stay at our house tonight. Finn, sit in the middle." Finn looked at Karofsky with an encouraging smile, but the look he got back was not what he expected. Karofsky didn't look happy to have a warm place to dry off; he looked like someone had just offered to cut off his head, and when Finn looked at the expression on Burt's face as he got back into his car he could see why. Burt was not happy.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

**(A.N: Hey guys! So sorry I haven't posted in what seems like forever. A billion things have happened and uh. I hope this chapter is okay, I'm not too sure about it myself, it's not exactly what I wanted but... I want to say thanks to Kevin – if this person is still reading this- for their review that I told all my friends about. I would also like to say thanks for being patient. I am so sorry.)**

Dave hesitated on the doorstep. The inside of the Hummel household looked warm and bright, and the outside was cold and rainy but at the moment he wasn't sure what was more dangerous. He wasn't sure if this was real or some delusional dream caused by lack of nourishment. All he knew was that there were people who hated him here. Taking his chances he stepped inside the house, limping from the pain in his leg. Finn smiled at him as he took off his shoes with difficulty, cursing under his breath while he untied his laces.

"Would you like to change out of those wet thing….um…"Finn's mom asked.

"Dave, my name is Dave." He blushed and looked at his feet. "Um, yes, please, thanks." Finn lead Dave to the bathroom, his clothes dripped water onto the clean carpets. He felt bad but there was nothing he could do about it, he just wished he wasn't doing something to annoy the people who were giving him shelter when they were already being more kind to him then they should have been. He thanked Finn, than entered the bathroom, falling onto the toilet as soon as he locked to door.

He had spent three days homeless, even though the toilet wasn't the most comfortable seat in the world, it was better than where he had been sitting since Tuesday evening. He took a moment to relax, putting his head within his hands. He was exhausted, he was lucky the Hummel's had picked him up, his leg wouldn't have lasted much longer without a rest. His ankle was purple and swollen; he could feel it pulsating as blood tried to get through to his toes. It had gotten worse than the last time he had checked it, but it didn't hurt any more than it had, it only looked horrible.

He took off his backpack and pulled out a pair of jeans. They were damp, but nowhere near as wet as the pants he was wearing, which was a relief. He pulled them off carefully, feeling a slight stinging as wounds reopened that had healed around the fabric. His skin was a little chaffed from the wet material and as he slipped on the new pants he found them a little tight, and hard to pull on. He knew they weren't too small for him, but they felt weird when being pulled over wet, chaffed skin.

Next he pulled off his shirt; this was more painful than taking off his pants. It hurt to lift his arms in a way that he could try and manoeuvre his shirt so he would not pull off his gauze. He knew he should change it, but he didn't have any more, and he didn't have any money to buy more. Other than 17 cents at the bottom of his bag he had spent all of the ten dollars he had taken with him. It shocked him how fast the money could go, being from a moderately wealthy family he had never had to worry about money, now it was always on his mind.

Dave wished he could stay in the bathroom forever, or at least until the rain stopped. He didn't want to face Mr. Hummel's angry face, or Finn's awkwardly concerned face, and especially Kurt's face, his eyes avoiding him at all costs. He at least wished he looked better. He got up slowly, hoping on his good foot to the sink. He looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was dirty and had bits of leaves and twigs stuck within it. He moved his tongue across his teeth; they were scuzzy though they didn't look too bad. His face was the worst, the gauze around his forehead helped soften the appearance, but not by much. The scars and bruises stood out against the paleness of his skin. He didn't dare look at the cut under the bandages. Blood was caked on his face, and parts of his skin were peeling. He put some water in his hands and carefully cleaned his face, making an effort to look a little more presentable. He also rubbed some water through his hair to clean it off. He didn't understand how the rain hadn't been able to wash away the dirt in his hair; he rolled his eyes and did the best he could. When he looked a tad less grotesque he opened the door and hobbled out. Finn was waiting outside the door.

"Uh, thanks."

"No problem, Kurt and my mom are making dinner; you want to throw your stuff in my room?" Dave wasn't sure what to say, he couldn't really believe he was actually staying in this house. He nodded slowly.

As Finn lead Dave in the direction that he presumed was Finn's room, he felt a tight grip on his shoulder. Turning around he found himself face to face with Mr. Hummel. Dave looked at the floor, but knew that Mr. Hummel was staring at him with very hard eyes, he knew men like Mr. Hummel.

"These are the rules while you're in my house; you stay away from Kurt you understand? You stay away from Kurt, and don't let me catch you saying, no thinking anything that is discriminatory against him do you understand? No insulting actions, nothing. I need your word."

"Burt, come on his isn't going to..."

"Look at me." Dave looked up slowly, just as he had thought Mr. Hummel's eyes were stone cold and serious. Dave nodded, he understood completely. He had no intention of making gay jokes ever again, at least not anytime soon, and not mean-spiritedly. Mr. Hummel seemed to believe him, and took his hand off his shoulder, walking away.

"Come on, my room is upstairs, we can stay there until dinner" Finn smiled absent minded, but Dave frowned and raised his eyebrows. Finn caught Dave's looked and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Dave shook his head and limped over to the stairs. "Oh, shit. Can you make it up?"

"Yeah, it's not a big deal" though Dave wasn't too sure. Finn stood behind him, as though he was a child who was just learning to stand. Dave put his good foot on the stair, and then quickly pulled his other foot up to the step. One stair down, many more to go. He felt Finn's arm slip under his, allowing him to lean on Finn for support. It bothered his ribs a bit, but it was better than going at it alone. Slowly but surely they made it up the stairs, and into Finn's room.

"Sorry it's a bit messy" said Finn as he sat Dave down into a soft desk chair. Messy was certainly an understatement. Dave had never been allowed to have a messy room, his...he would get in trouble if he did, so he had never imagined a room like this. Clothes, C.D's, cases, books, paper, everything seemed to be on the floor. "It's usually not this bad; I was going to clean it up. I'll clean off a spot on the floor before we go to sleep, you don't mind sleeping on the floor...or do you want the bed. That was rude; I should offer you the bed shouldn't I? I..."

"The floor is fine, thanks." Compared to where he had been sleeping for the last two nights, the floor was great. He was just happy to have a warm, dry, animal free space to rest his head. Anywhere at this point was better than the forest in his mind.

"You sure? It's not problem man." Dave nodded, and Finn accepted his reply. Dave didn't even care if Finn cleared off the stuff off the floor. The forest floor had been covered with rocks, spiky plants, and weird clumps of dirt that had stuck into his body and refused to allow him to sleep.

Finn shuffled awkwardly, looking at Dave then looking away. He sighed, Finn wanted to talk. "Yeah?"

"What?"

"Go ahead and ask me whatever you want to know." Finn stared at Dave as though he had just figured out the best kept secret in the world.

"How did you...? Where have you been?"

Dave shrugged "Nowhere in particular."

"We were all worried about you. I mean when you didn't come back to school the next day I thought..."

"You thought I tried to off myself again?" Finn blushed, obviously uncomfortable asking. Dave shook his head "No, nothing like that. Did they replace me on the team?" Dave wasn't sure how he'd come back to school, but the information was important to him.

"Temporarily, but the practice right guard isn't nearly as strong as you are, and doesn't understand the plays as well. We could really use you back on the field man." There was a strained silence. "Are you doing okay?" Dave laughed, it seemed like an incredibly silly question, Finn laughed as well. He didn't ask Dave why he had no place to go, or why he did what he had, or why he had all these injuries, or when he was coming back to school. He just asked "Do you want to play Madden on my Play Station?"

Even though Dave was exhausted he agreed. It was nice to momentarily forget about all his problems and just do something a regular teenage boy did. He knew his problems could wait till later, they weren't going anywhere. He began concentrating on the game, blocking out all his aches, he even smiled.

It seemed to last only a few minutes before he heard a muffled yell from somewhere in the Hummel house. Finn's head went up like a prairie dog, and he jumped to his feet, throwing the controller to the side. "Dinner, com on man I'm starved." Dave nodded, getting up slowly. He was hungry too, but he felt really sleepy and didn't really want to go down stairs.

Finn made himself a crutch for Dave again as they walked towards the stairs. Dave was glad, he felt dizzy and light headed. He heard the banging of cutlery as they made their way down, and he could smell delicious food.

It was as they got to the bottom of the stairs that Dave felt his vision go black.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"Karofsky? Karofsky are you okay?"

"Dave, are you alright?"

"What's wrong with him?"

Dave felt someone sit him up, and put his head in his lap. His vision reappeared quickly as he took deep breaths from this position. He felt very embarrassed by this whole situation, he had never fainted in his life and now here he was fainting in front of his teammate and his family. He felt a little shaky and dizzy but tried to stand up.

"Just sit for a moment Dave, are you alright?" Finn's mom looked worried and he felt worse for obviously scaring her. Dave nodded, his head rolling slightly. He rubbed his forehead and his eyes, trying to snap himself out of this dizziness. "When was the last time you had something to eat?"

Dave didn't understand what made her ask that question, it seemed so out of the blue. He thought for a second, trying to remember the last time he had had food. He was too tired to lie so he admitted "Two days ago."

"Finn help him to the table" Finn's mom said quietly. She and Mr. Hummel exchanged a look then both walked away. Finn reached under his arm to yank him up, Dave hissed slightly as he tried to lift him. Finn seemed to understand and lifted him more gently. He wished he was less helpless, especially since he knew he wasn't the lightest guy in the world. Finn didn't seem to have too much trouble but he knew it wasn't easy. Slowly they made their way to the dining room table; Finn lowered him into a chair then took the seat beside him.

Kurt and Finn's mom came in with platters of food. It all smelt great to Dave whose last meal consisted of beef jerky. Dave was use to eating like a football player, so his lack of food had been even more noticeable to him. He was ready to tear into anything.

They set down potatoes, some sort of pink fish, green beans, and carrots. Dave had never been a huge fish guy, but right now he thought it was the greatest thing ever. Mr. Hummel however groaned from his spot at the head of the table. "I thought we were having a real meal, I mean we have a guest right? That means we can have steak or pork chops or something." Mr. Hummel waved his fork in Dave's directions.

"No, you know what the doctors said Dad, healthy food. Nothing too high in cholesterol or fat, and red meat should be limited." Kurt said as he took a seat across from Finn.

"Well dig in everyone" Finn's mom encouraged, taking Dave's plate and pilling potatoes on it. Dave smiled to himself, it was a little embarrassing to have someone get your food for you, but it was nice. When she gave him back his plate she passed the potatoes to Finn who frowned.

"What, you're not going to get my potatoes for me?"

"Sure I will. Would you like me to go upstairs and clean your room for you too?" she looked at Finn kindly and Finn eyes widened.

"No, I can get these myself thanks" Kurt, Mr. Hummel, and Finn's mom laughed. Finn's mom passed Dave the fish; he took a small piece (not wanting to be greedy) and passed the plate on. He also gave himself medium piles of beans and carrots. It all looked too good to eat, but he decided that he'd destroy it anyway. He tried not to be too gross and take small mouthfuls at a time, but at the speed he was eating he didn't think it mattered much.

"Whoa dude it's not going anywhere" Finn whispered beside him, but Dave didn't answer, he just kept stuffing food him his mouth, taking a few moments to chew and swallow. His empty stomach cheered happily as he ate.

"At least we know someone likes it" Finn's mom laughed. Dave didn't respond he was too busy eating. It was only when the plate was finished did he realise how fast he was going, everyone else still had a good amount on their plates. They were all (expect Finn's mom) staring at him with mouths open. He grinned sheepishly and looked down at his empty plate, still hungry.

"You want anymore Dave?"

"No thank you" he didn't want to act more like a pig than he already had. She began talking to Mr. Hummel about something, leaving him to think.

The Hummel's were a real family. Dave couldn't believe how well everyone seemed to get along, even though they were a fusion family. His own family had never seemed so animated, and happy to be together. Even when his mom was alive Dave's house was always quiet, just the way his father liked it. He wished his family had been like this, so open and happy. No one seemed to care about the fact that Kurt was gay. Everyone was laughing, and talking, and eating. No one was rushing to get away from the table, or trying to spread the word of the lord, or commenting on each other's faults. It was peaceful.

"So, Dave, you're a football player. What position do you play?" Mr. Hummel asked, clearing his throat.

"Right guard sir."

"Hmm, that's rough." Dave knew his position wasn't anything to brag about. Not like being a quarterback, but he liked his spot. "Is that how you got all those bruises?" Dave looked at his hand. He didn't know how to answer that, he could just lie and say he had, but he didn't feel like lying. He just shook his head, looking away. There was an awkward silence, no one sure what to say. He wanted to say that he had been beaten up by his uncle, that he was beaten up for being gay, that that was the reason he was out in the street, but he was afraid of what the reaction would be. He was afraid Mr. Hummel would say that he was getting what he deserved for what he did to his son.

"Are you feeling better man?" asked Finn. Dave didn't look at him, but he could imagine Finn's bashful expression.

"Yeah thanks."

"Two days..." he heard him mumble. "You must be crazy hungry. How come..." Finn didn't finish the question. He knew what Finn wanted to ask. He could have answered and made it easier on Finn, but he didn't.

After the plates were cleared Finn walked over to help Dave up, gently grabbing him and lifting him to his feet. "Thanks for the dinner Miss."

"No problem Dave, no problem at all."

"Hey, before you two go upstairs why don't I check out you wounds?"Mr. Hummel asked. Dave agreed and Finn walked him over to a couch. Mr. Hummel came over with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and more bandages. "Put your foot up on the coffee table." Dave obeyed. Pulling up his pants he heard Finn take in a quick breath, and Mr. Hummel shook his head. Gently Mr. Hummel picked up Dave's ankle, it was painful but Dave didn't complain. "It's sprained pretty badly." Mr. Hummel cleaned off the ankle and wrapped it up in bandages.

Then he took a look under the gauze on Dave's head. Mr. Hummel shook his head again as the scar reopened and blood leaked down his face. He cleaned up the forehead too, and put some new gauze on his head. "You should really get stitches for that."

"I'm fine." Dave didn't want to go to the hospital.

"Burt, he winced every time I try to help him up." Dave shot a look at Finn.

"Where does it hurt?"

"My ribs, I already wrapped them up, it's no big deal."

"Let me see." Dave painfully took off his jacket and shirt. He felt uncomfortable half naked on the Hummel's couch. Especially since he didn't look like Finn. Mr. Hummel felt his side and Dave cursed. "Definitely a few broken ribs." He undid the bandages carefully, than reapplied more. It made Dave feel cleaner, and a little better than before. Mr. Hummel looked Dave straight in the eye. "How'd you get so banged up?" Dave's stomach clenched. He looked away, unsure of what to say.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Dude what's the big deal, just tell him."

"You in trouble? Selling drugs? In a gang?"

"No sir."

"You promise me that, or you can get out now."

"I promise I'm not."

"Then what's the big deal?" Dave looked back at Mr. Hummel. He felt so vulnerable, so pathetic. "Never mind." He got up and left, leaving the alcohol bottle on the table.

Finn helped him up and walked to the stairs "Oh, dude I gotta take a piss, you mind sitting here for a sec?" Dave shrugged, and Finn sat him down on the stairs. Dave looked around mindlessly. He could hear clattering in the kitchen, then he heard voices.

"I don't like it Carole! I don't like that kid being here. He's obviously in some sort of trouble and I don't like it. He makes me nervous."

"Burt, the boy can barely walk. It's not like he's going to pick a fight with Kurt."

"He's still the jerk that terrified Kurt. I know Kurt feels uncomfortable with all this. You heard how quiet he was. He didn't talk about musical theatre at all. It's all because of him." Dave heart dived.

"You heard him; he hasn't eaten in two days. Two days Burt! The boy fainted. He was walking in the rain with a backpack, and nowhere to go. We can't just leave a kid like that on the side of the road. Yes, there's something going on there, something he is obviously afraid to talk about. I just keep imagining Finn on the side of the road, starving and hurt, with no one helping him. I think of Kurt." Dave heard crying.

"It's okay honey, I'm not going to kick him out. But he isn't Kurt, he isn't Finn. They wouldn't act like this kid did. They don't think of themselves like this kid does. He thinks he's the greatest thing on this earth. I saw him at the school."

"I heard in town he was in the hospital for trying to kill himself. I didn't know it was the same kid but Finn said Karofsky. That was what Marlene told me at the supermarket. "

"What?"

"You see what I'm saying. We don't know what's going on there. I'm worried."

"It'll be okay Carole."

"You ready to go upstairs?" Dave looked up at Finn and nodded. Together they made their way upstairs. Dave decided he would break one of Mr. Hummel's rules. He needed to see Kurt.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Dave snuck past Finn's bed as quietly as he could. He was lucky Finn was a deep sleeper, who liked to go to bed early. He didn't want him around when he talked to Kurt; he wanted to do it alone, just him and Kurt.

He had seen Kurt enter the room across from Finn's, so he knew that was probably his. He had planned it all out; he would knock on the door quietly, quickly say what he had to say, than walk back to Finn's room and go to sleep. Or more likely go back to Finn's room and think about what just happened.

When Dave got into the hall he heard the T.V on downstairs. He looked over at the stairs, he could barely walk properly by himself but something inside him said that it was Kurt downstairs watching T.V. He knew if it was Mr. Hummel downstairs he would be screwed. There was no good explanation for him struggling down the stairs in the middle of the night. He needed to talk to Kurt though, so he was willing to risk it. He couldn't imagine that his life could get any worse than it already was. It empowered him a little bit knowing that there was no where he could go but up, that or he could end up dead.

Carefully he took the stairs, realising only as he reached the middle that he could have easily checked this out by knocking on Kurt's door, then if there wasn't a response coming downstairs. He shook his head at his own stupidity but continued down the stairs anyway. Stumbling slightly, but grabbing the banister hard. Saving himself from falling noisily down the steps.

When he reached the bottom he hobbled in the direction of the T.V. He could see the light reflected on the walls. As he got near the couch he saw a slight figure huddled up staring at the screen. There was only one person in this house with a slight figure so he knew he had been right. It didn't comfort him though, memories of the last time he tried this flashed in his mind. Then at least he had been drunk, now he was completely sober, if anything bad happened he didn't know how he would handle it. He didn't back down though, he couldn't.

"Kurt?" He saw the figure jump and look in his direction. The light of the T.V made Kurt's already pale face look ghostly. His lips were in a tight frown, but at least they were shut, he wasn't screaming yet. "Kurt, I'd like to talk to you."

"What do you want Karofsky?" Kurt asked curtly. He shut off the T.V and faced him, still sitting on the couch.

"I want to say, I want to say I'm sorry. For everything. For coming to your school, for being at McKinley, for treating you so horribly. I am sorry for attacking you with my lips. For threatening you. For just making your life hell. I wish I could take it all back but I can't, it's impossible and I know that. I know you don't believe that I'm sorry, but I am. I am so sorry, I tried to tell you that day at Dalton but I, I was drunk. I was 100% plastered and was nervous. I know that's not an excuse but I want to let you know, it wasn't insincerity, it was drunken nervousness. That's, well that's all." He looked at Kurt. Kurt hadn't said anything during his speech. He sat there without looking at Dave, looking at his knees instead. Dave didn't know what to do now, he turned around and started back to the stairs, feeling defeated.

"Do you think we're cool now? That now you've cleared your conscience it's all fine?" he heard from behind him.

"No, I don't. My conscience will never be clear, but I wanted you to know. I wanted you to know how sorry I am, I don't know why, I just needed you to know."

"You know my dad will kill you if he finds you down here, you could have had Finn tell me this." Dave turned around and looked at Kurt, and found that this time he was staring back.

"It wouldn't be the same, it doesn't mean anything if someone else apologises for you. I just...I don't know."

"What happened to you, were you born again or some other kind of nonsense. You expect me to believe you suddenly transformed from brute totale, to kind kitten loving sweetheart. Do you think I'm un imbécile Karofsky?"

"No, no I think you're smart. I just can't be bothered being an asshole anymore." It was true; it took too much effort for him to be a jerk.

"I had to leave McKinley because of you. You made me leave all my friends, everyone I cared about. "

"Well, you can come back. I'm not going back; you won't have to worry about me anymore." Kurt eyes widened. His mouth opened in disbelief, Dave didn't understand why he was so shocked.

"Your, your what?"

"I'm not going back. I can't go back, I'm quitting. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm just some dumb jock right? I probably wouldn't have gotten a scholarship anyway. You don't have to worry about me bothering you anymore."

"What do you mean you're not going back?" Kurt raised his voice. Dave shushed him, looking in the direction of the stairs. When he was sure it was safe he looked back at Kurt.

"It doesn't matter why I'm not going back. I'm just not. McKinley's safe for you, you can go back to the Glee club and all that." Dave started walking away, but he heard feet rushing over to him, and felt a dainty hand on his shoulder. Dave hopped around, the hand falling from its place.

"You're not going to...Marilyn Monroe yourself are you?

"What does that mean?"

"You know...do an Ophelia?"

"Oh, no...no nothing like that. I'm not going to try and kill myself, don't worry about it." Kurt looked relieved.

"Then...why aren't you going back?"

"You aren't going to let this go are you?" Kurt shook his head and stared at Dave pointedly. Dave sighed, he didn't know why he was telling the president of his hate club what was going on, but he did. "I'm homeless Kurt, I need to get a job, I need to find some place to live. I don't have time for school."

"What do you mean your homeless?"

"Pretty self explanatory isn't it. It means I live on the streets. It means one without home."

"I know that, I mean how? Why?"

"Kurt I...don't want to talk about this. Why do you care anyway? I deserve it don't I? That's what you're thinking right?" Dave didn't want to hear the answer to this, there was a huge pit in his stomach.

"No. I may not like you, but why would I want you to be homeless?" Kurt looked sincere; it made Dave's spirits rise.

"I was kicked out. I told my dad, I told him I was gay." Kurt's eyes got so big they looked like they would pop off his head. He stepped away from Dave a bit and stared at him. Dave hopped over to the couch to sit down, he couldn't stand anymore. Kurt's eyes followed him.

"You told your dad you were..."

"Gay, I told him I was gay." Dave sighed; it felt good to get it out. "It was stupid but I did."

"And he..."

"Kicked me out, Tuesday after school. He doesn't have any gay sons." Dave could feel tears come to the surface, but he didn't want to cry in front of Kurt.

"He kicked his suicidal son out on to the streets. Really? What a cretin. What a slime." Kurt came over to sit next to Dave, dumbfounded. "You really came out?"

"Yup, in front of my dad and my uncle, I just kind of yelled it."

"Karofsky?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you get...why are you so beaten up?"

"I couldn't be gay. I just couldn't be gay, my uncle wouldn't allow it. I never thought about it, I never had to. Then this kid came out at my school, and I couldn't stop being flooded with thoughts of guys. I couldn't stop thinking about what he was. I tried to forget it; I tried to get this kid to not be gay. I couldn't do that either. Then, I stupidly kissed him. He was good looking you see. It confused me more. I didn't know how to deal. I got fed up of hiding, it was like living in my own little hell, and I couldn't do it anymore. My uncle...well he couldn't have his nephew be gay you understand." Dave didn't know why he was saying all this; he just needed to get it out.

"Your uncle beat you up for being gay?" Dave laughed bitterly.

"He would have done worse if I hadn't gotten out of there." He looked at Kurt "It's kind of poetic justice isn't it, I push you into lockers for being gay, and here I am, getting beaten up by someone bigger than me for being gay. Only difference is your family didn't care, your friends didn't care. At least you have that going for you."

"Do you think I'm some bitter old bitty that keeps a grudge. I'm not cheering about the fact that you were kicked out, I'm not happy that you look like the girl from the exorcist. I'm not pleased that you tried to kill yourself. I would rather you get a D on a paper, or get cut from the football team or something. Something that doesn't make me feel sorry for you. At least with those things I could feel smug. I can't feel smug about this. You ruined that for me." Dave started to cry, Kurt was being nicer than his own father had been. Kurt who he had been horrible to was being nicer than his best friend, his family.

"I'm so sorry Kurt, really I am."

"I believe you."

"I don't know how to be gay." Dave cried.

"What's going on down here?" Dave looked up and saw Mr. Hummel staring at him, his eyes narrowed. Dave burst into harder tears; he hadn't even noticed Mr. Hummel come down.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

_**(A.N: Hello people of Earth. Yes I know I have been away for another long period of time, leaving you with a cliff-hanger. I however have a reason I think is good. I had a fever and couldn't seem to write words in a way that made sense. All I could do was watch another one of my favourite shows on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and a lot of self pity. I was going to comment on the Klaine kiss but, I figured that I shouldn't just in case. I did by writing that though...oh well. Yeah this chapter is short and not very good...mirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)**_

"What the hell's going on down here?" Light flooded quickly in the room. Dave covered his eyes from the stinging but didn't stop crying. He heard pounding feet towards him, and felt his shirt being ball in the front, then...

"Auuuuuggggggh" Dave screamed in pain as he was lifted by his shirt. His arms fell to his sides exposing him to the bright lights; he was blinded in more ways than one.

"Dad, Dad please he didn't do anything, we were just talking. Dad, stop!" Dave could hear Kurt screaming. Mr. Hummel didn't seem to be listening though. Dave continued to scream in pain, he didn't know what else to do.

"I thought I told you to stay away from my son. Didn't I say to stay away from my son?"

"Dad you're hurting him!" Dave heard feet running down the stairs. He tried to clear his eyes of tears and light but he couldn't.

"Burt what is going on down here?"

"He was harassing Kurt, I told him to leave my boy alone. He didn't listen." Mr. Hummel shook him once, pain riveting through his body.

"He was saying he was sorry Dad. That was all. He wasn't hurting me, he was apologising." Dave felt himself slip onto the couch. He was shaking terribly, half from fright, half from pain. It seemed as though the whole room was shaking, and turning. For a moment Dave stopped crying. He put his head in his hands and just sat there, trying to shake away the fear.

"He was what?"

"He was trying to apologise. He just wanted to apologise nothing more. We were only talking, he wasn't doing anything to me, he wasn't hurting me. I wouldn't have stood for that Dad." Dave wanted to say something, but he couldn't get his mouth to work.

"Oh. Well I guess that's okay. I'm sorry kid, did I hurt you?" Dave couldn't handle it. He broke down crying again. Tears streamed down his eyes fast. He hiccupped loud sobs. He could hear Finn coming down the stairs and it embarrassed him but he couldn't stop. "Whoa whoa whoa, look I'm sorry son, do you need ice or something." Dave couldn't answer through the sobs. It made him cry harder that he used the word son. Dave knew it wasn't meant as "son" like family, that is was just a Midwest thing. He couldn't believe after all the things he had done; Mr. Hummel was still concerned whether or not he had injured him. His own father didn't give a fuck whether he was beaten black and blue, or whether he was feeling like shit. His own family didn't care whether he was harmed, or in pain, or alone, or on the streets. His own family never gave one thought to how he was, yet here was this family he had caused tons of trouble for. Here was a family he had screwed up, and made miserable yet they took him in, fed him, and worried whether or not he harmed him. He felt an overwhelming amount of guilt.

"I should get out of here I'm sorry" he said through the tears. He tried to pick himself up, but he swayed, Mr. Hummel catching him before he hit the ground.

"Easy now, what the hell are you on about."

"Karofsky you can't go out in weather like this?" Finn added, coming up beside him. Blocking him from even attempted to get at the front door.

"I have to, I screwed your lives up, I can't, I have to..." words stumbled out fast, his brain trying to make sense of them.

"Easy, take it easy you'll only do yourself harm." He set Dave down slowly again, onto the couch. "Now I've heard nothing but gibblegabble since you got here so I want you to calm down and start talking. If not, I'm going to look through the phone book and find Karofsky. I'm sure there's not more than one..."

"Please, you can't call my dad. What do you want to know?" Dave's tears stopped in their tracks from sheer panic. If his dad found out where he was, he'd tell his uncle, and his uncle would come over here, and he didn't want to think about what would happen after that.

"How did you get so banged up?" Dave took a shaky breath; he vaguely remembered telling Kurt this. He needed to make sure that Mr. Hummel didn't call his father.

"I was beat up."

"No shit. Why, you smart mouth him, what did you do?"

"I told him something."

"What? You tell him he was a fag?"

"No."

"You tell him he was a queer?"

"No."

"You tell him you..."

"I told him I was gay. I told him I was gay and he beat me up. I'm gay." Everyone stared at him. He felt his skin crawl, and bile rise in his throat.

"You're...gay?" Finn eyes were as wide as they could go.

"You made fun of my son, and you're..."

"Burt" Finn's mom said, still on the stairs. "Not now."

"Who did it?" Mr. Hummel asked, looking down at the ground, his arms across his chest.

"My uncle, Jake Karofsky." Dave felt ashamed, like he was telling some big secret.

"Shit. God, I can't believe this. I went to school with that asshole; I guess he's still an asshole. Jesus, what did your dad say?" Dave looked at the ground as well. I made him nervous to share all this with Mr. Hummel.

"He told me to get out of his house."

"You been beaten before?" Dave nodded; he put his head back in his hand. He heard a couple of swears. Dave waited for Mr. Hummel to say that he deserved it, that he deserved every hit and bruise. "You should get some sleep; we'll talk about this more in the morning. Finn help him back upstairs. You can sleep in the guest room." Dave felt more tears fall down his cheeks. He felt lucky for the first time in his life.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33.

_**(A.N: No I'm not dead! YAY! Sorry it's been so long, I know I know you all were freaking out. Its okay, calm down, I'm here now. I've had a lot of stuff going on. I was sick with a really bad ear infection that my doctor misdiagnosed as grinding my teeth, I've had two essays and a seminar to do, and I'm getting ready to go to Italy on the 8**__**th**__**. So a lot of things needed to be done. I am back though HUZZAH and I have missed you guys. I think I'm really rusty in writing though, it has been a while. Well awhile for me. I would also like to address the reader named Andrew who added a review, I can't reply to you on FF because it gives no option for that, but you will have to wait and see Any questions from anyone about the story or anything I'd love to hear from you on my formspring, just go to my profile. Or you can ask me here *Sheepish grin*, no spamming you guys or anything I promise, it is if you wish to use it. Thanks for sticking around; I promise I won't leave you hanging like that again, unless I inform you beforehand."**_

Dave could see a red haze from behind his eyelids and knew he should get up, but he didn't want to. The bed was so soft and warm, unlike where he had been sleeping for the past few days. He knew if he woke up he would have a lot of reality to deal with, and a lot of pain. In his dreams he could ride in a roller coaster made out of corndogs, and look like John Stamos. Why should he trade that for drama, and aching joints? He didn't want to be a pest either, and if he slept all day he knew he would feel like a nuisance. Slowly he opened his eyes and let the sun in. Dave had to blink tears out of his eyes as he adjusted to the light.

Dave yawned sleepily, and blinked a couple more times. The room held calmness within it, as though it was separate from the world he knew. Maybe it was just the daze of sleep that still hung around him, but he didn't feel as panicky as he had lately. He didn't feel the need to run around frantically, or run away. He got up slowly, his joints cracking with protest. It hurt to move, but it wasn't as difficult to get out of bed as it had been to get up off the floor in the forest. Gingerly he put his bad leg down, then quickly stepped down with the other. Slowly he walked towards the door, and looked around for his bag. He couldn't find it anywhere but decided it didn't matter. It was only clothes, water, and a couple of wrappers.

He went into the hall and looked around. He wasn't sure where he should go or what he should do. He heard the T.V on downstairs so he decided to go downstairs. It was better than hanging around doing nothing. It made him nervous to go down by himself. He felt more sore than he had the other day. He held onto the banister tightly and slowly lowered himself down the first step. He shuddered with pain when his bad leg hit the stair, it frustrated him but he contained his anger.

"Karofsky?" he heard from behind him. He didn't need to turn around to know it was Kurt. He knew the voice all too well. He didn't want to look back at him for fear of falling.

"Yeah? Do you need to get by?" Dave knew there was no chance of rushing down the stairs, and he didn't know why he asked. There was nothing he could do, other than squishing himself against the wall and letting him walk past, but he didn't want to let go of the banister.

"No, do you need some help?" Kurt asked timidly. Dave could tell that Kurt was nervous asking him this. It would mean that he would have to touch Dave, and that Dave would have to touch him. They had made peace with each other, but they weren't friends. There was still tension between the two of them; all that had changed was the hostility level. This was time to prove that he had changed; they could only wait and see.

"I'm fine" he said, taking the next step carefully. As his hand moved along he became unsteady. His body lurched forward slightly, threatening to send him tumbling over. He gripped the banister hard, pulling himself back with some difficulty. His heart pounded as he looked at how far he could have fallen. He didn't need any more injuries right now. He heard a sigh behind him, and felt his free arm being lifted gently and landing on petite shoulders. Together they took the first step.

"Why are all jocks so filled with hubris? You think just because you asked for help, or that you show a little bit of weakness that you're..." Kurt didn't finish but Dave knew what he was saying. That weakness is interpreted as feminine, and that anyone who shows weakness is automatically gay. Dave laughed at the irony of the statement. He didn't push it though, partly because he didn't want to die on the way down the stairs, and partly because there was nothing to fight anymore.

As they reached the bottom of the stairs Dave smiled an awkward, he never in a million years thought that Kurt would be helping him voluntarily, or that they wouldn't be at each other's throat every five seconds. He felt a shiver down his spine as they took the last step and landed on the ground safely.

"So, did I hurt your pride too much, or do you think you'll survive?" Dave chuckled awkwardly. He wanted to reply that 'the wound was deep, and he wasn't sure if he'd make it' but he was too nervous. He didn't know if Kurt would take it as a joke or not so he didn't say anything. "Come on, I'll help you to the kitchen, you're probably hungry."

"Who's stereotyping now?" Dave mumbled under his breath with a laugh.

"Excusez-Moi? " Kurt asked, stopping in his tracks.

"Nothing" Dave said shaking his head. He didn't want to start any fights; he didn't think he could handle any more fights. He was all fought out.

"If you would like to make your own way through the house I'd be happy to let you, I don't particularly enjoy lugging around 300 pounds of dead weight, but I though you may need my assistance. If you're so against it I can leave you to your own devices." Dave felt a pit in his stomach. He wasn't 300 pounds. He knew it was supposed to be an insulting exaggeration, but it hurt. Dave looked at himself critically, his eyes filled with shame.

"I just said who's stereotyping now. I didn't say anything insulting to you, but if I'm too heavy for you I can make my own way." Dave tried to take him arm off Kurt's shoulders quickly, hurting his ribs in the process.

"Be careful." Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "What do you mean 'stereotyping'?" He made air quotations, and stared Dave in the eyes. Dave looked away and sighed.

"You know, saying I'm probably hungry, because I'm...well I'm...you know. I'm chubby." Dave blushed with embarrassment. He never talked about his insecurities with anyone, especially not someone who up until yesterday hated him with passion.

"Don't be stupid, I didn't say that because you're big, I said that because you didn't eat for two days and that would make anyone really hungry." Kurt slipped up his arm and helped him towards the kitchen. "Anyway, you'd meet the Charles Atlas seal of approval right?" Dave grinned sheepishly, he didn't know what that meant, but he heard the words Atlas, and approval and that made him happy.

They reached the kitchen and Kurt dropped Dave into a chair by their little island. He had always liked these little islands in kitchens. Finn's mom was at the stove and smiled kindly when the two came in. "Hey boys, you hungry?" Dave nodded, he felt like a stupid five year old but he had never been a guy of many words. Maybe it was the jock in him, or maybe it was how quiet his house always was, or maybe it was the result of keeping so many secrets, but he had always been Spartan in personality.

"We would love something to eat Carole, thank you. Might I add you look lovely this morning? Burgundy really suits your skin tone, is that sweater new?" Kurt slipped into his own seat gracefully. Dave hadn't even noticed what Finn's mom had been wearing. Personally Dave thought Finn's mom just looked normal, nothing special, not ugly but normal. It amazed him how Kurt could find something so simple like the colour of a shirt and make someone feel good about themselves. Finn's mom beamed and went back to a pan on the stove.

"Thank you Kurt. Is pancakes, sausages and eggs okay with you guys?" Dave nodded again forgetting to use his words.

"That would be fine thank you Carole."

"Would you mind calling Finn for me Kurt honey, he's just sitting in front of the T.V with your father watching cartoons." Finn's mom shook her head as Kurt got up to go get them. "You'd think we had little boys in this house" she mumbled under her breath. "Tell me Dave, do you watch cartoons at your age?"

"Uh, I don't really watch T.V" he had never really had much time to watch T.V between school, football practice, hockey practice, homework, church, social networking and his Uncle.

Kurt came back with Mr. Hummel and Finn. Finn took a seat next to Kurt, not looking in Dave's direction. Dave looked away from him, he should have known that Finn would feel a little weird towards him after last night's tell all, yet it still hurt that he had.

Mr. Hummel took a seat next to him. "So, you ready to talk to me today?" he said, turning to face Dave in his chair. Dave turned slightly, each movement painful. He nodded, he knew he could hide forever, he knew that he had to let his problems go and let someone else carry the weight with him. Just like Kurt had said, he had too much hubris, he needed to change that. "Let's get some food in you first." Mr. Hummel added, though Dave was sure it was just as much for Mr. Hummel as it was for himself.

Everyone ate in silence. It reminded Dave of home and he didn't like it. He missed the chatter of last night's dinner, and he knew he was to blame for the quiet.

"Okay Dave" Mr. Hummel clearing his throat as he cleared his plate. "I want to know everything, how long has these beatings been going on?" Dave gulped; he couldn't believe someone was so forward. It made him less nervous though. He remembered when he was a tweenager and a teacher had seen bruises on his arm and brought police in to talk to him. They all tried to beat around to bush to find answers, it felt more real this way.

"I don't know, honestly" Dave shrugged. He couldn't really remember when it started; it was a long time ago. He couldn't remember it happening before his mom died though, it all happened after.

"Did your Dad know about this?" Dave shrugged again. He couldn't answer that either. "You're not helping me out Dave."

"I don't think you should push him..." Kurt began.

"I really don't know sir, I can't tell you because I don't know." Dave rubbed his eyes. He didn't want to cry again, he'd cried too much lately. He wanted to be strong and confident.

"Alright, but he knew about...this time, is that what you told me?" Dave nodded. Mr. Hummel rubbed his chin and gritted his teeth. "What exactly happened? I want the full story."

Dave took a deep breath and shook a bit. He didn't want Mr. Hummel to know everything. He didn't want to know everything. He wanted to forget it ever happened. He wanted to forget about the conversation he and his Uncle had had, but he also didn't want to go back on the streets. "I was at home after school, my Uncle started getting in on my about things..."

"What things?" Mr Hummel asked.

"Burt, it's really none of our..." Finn's mom started to say.

"It is, we need to know what he was up to."

"He, was getting after me because...because I was in the hospital for...well he was calling me crazy cause I...I" Dave didn't know how to say it to Mr. Hummel. It seemed easier to tell others, but he felt tense. Mr. Hummel nodded; he didn't seem to need anymore explanation on that matter. "He wanted me to confess my sins to him, when I wouldn't he got angry. My dad came home and just got after me for not doing what I was told. I guess he had a point though, I should have just done what I was told but I got angry. I told him I was gay, my Uncle got mad, my dad told me to get out, I ran away. The end." Dave's eyes wandered around, unsure of where to look.

"Jesus kid" was all Mr. Hummel could muster. He shook his head, took the baseball cap off his head, rubbed the bill on his forehead, and put it back on. Dave understood, and he was grateful for his reaction, that is until he said "After what you did to Kurt I can't believe you could be..."

"Listen, I know I deserve it for what I did to Kurt. I know that it's just divine retribution. You don't have to tell me twice." Dave snapped. "Sorry." Mr. Hummel looked at Dave with anger in his eyes. He shook his head and when Dave tried to look away Mr. Hummel wouldn't let him.

"Look at me right now. Listen, and you listen closely. I'm not repeating this you understand? No one deserves to be kicked around this badly. No one. Not by their family, not by the people who are suppose to protect and love them no matter what. Family is supposed to accept you, not condemn you, no matter who you love. You may have done some stupid, pig headed, ignorant things, but that doesn't mean that you deserve this treatment in return. You understand me son?" Dave nodded, shocked by this speech. Mr. Hummel put his hand on Dave's shoulder. "We're going to make sure you're okay kid. I promise."

"Thank you." A few loose tears slipped out, but he managed not to burst into tears.

"I'm calling the police about this to begin with. That asshole Karofsky isn't getting away with this shit." Dave's heart stopped.

"You can't tell them I'm here! If he knows he'll come." Dave couldn't face his Uncle in his condition.

"He won't touch you Karofsky, not if I can help it" Finn said quietly, and despite his fear of his Uncle, Dave believed him.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

"Karofsky?" Dave had been sitting on the Hummel-Hudson couch; his mind had been drifting off into nowhere when he heard Finn's voice. Turning his head he saw Finn towering above him.

"Yeah Hudson?" Dave prepared himself for the upcoming conversation. He had been waiting for it since he saw Finn at the breakfast table. He was surprised it had taken him this long to approach him. Finn slide onto the couch next to him; then stood up again, then sat down. Finn rubbed his palms against his legs nervously. He looked up at Dave, then looked down, then looked up again. Dave took a breath in and wondered for a second whether Finn was doing this all on purpose to make him nervous.

"You should've told me man." Finn spoke finally, looking away from Dave. Dave wasn't sure though what he was supposed to have told Finn.

"Told you what?" He asked.

"About you being gay, about you being beaten, about anything, about everything I don't know. You should've talked to me. Instead of keeping that all to yourself you know." Finn looked at Dave with his brown puppy dog eyes.

"What makes you think I kept it to myself" Dave said in a monotone voice, looking down at the carpet to get away from Finn's stare.

"Because you only open your mouth to stay stupid, ignorant shit. Anyway if anyone knew that you were gay it would be all over the school in a moment, none of the football guys could keep that to themselves no offense to the guy..."

"Kurt knew." Dave stated. It hadn't helped any that he knew, but he did. Kurt had known for a while and he had never said anything to anyone except that Blaine. He had kept his secret, and Finn was right. His closest friends wouldn't have waited one second before they had spread it around the whole school.

Finn was shocked, his mouth was opened wide. "Kurt? How did Kurt know?" Dave knew why Finn would be surprised, he was probably wondering why Dave who hated Kurt would tell Kurt one of his deepest secrets, and why Kurt who hated Dave would keep that secret.

"I, well...I kind of, I kind of, I might possibly have kissed him." Finn's eyes grew twice their size. "That might have been why I threatened to kill him if he told anyone." Finn shook his head in disbelief.

"Why didn't Kurt tell me? I'm his step-brother man, why didn't he tell me?"

"I think I explained that already. I told him I'd kill him if he told anyone" Dave pointed out, though he understood the shock.

"So you're really gay?" Dave nodded; he had already done the hard part, now there was no use hiding the facts. "Dude, I...just. How could you do that then? What you did to Kurt? If you're...you know, why would you treat Kurt like that for being the same?" Dave wasn't sure how to explain this to Finn. He sometimes had a hard time explaining it to himself. It was all still really new to him. It was as though he was trying to figure out how to use the first computer.

"I didn't really know I was gay man. In my house gay was like a curse word, it's the worst thing for a Karofsky to be. So I never thought much about it. Gay people made me feel awkward though, like they were mocking me or something. I never thought for a moment it was because I was gay. It's still kind of awkward to talk about." Dave added. He didn't know how to talk to people so in depth. He had always been a pretty solo guy.

"I thought being gay was something you like, always know. Or something like that."

"It wasn't for me, I didn't know until that thing with Kurt happened. Even then I tried to justify it some other way. I tried to ignore it." Dave started to rub his own palms against his legs. This was a bad idea, the bruises on his legs protested in pain and he stopped, wincing in pain.

"You could have told me, I wouldn't have told anyone either. Or you could have mentioned that you were confused. I know we weren't friends or anything, but I would have stood beside you." Dave laughed. It seemed silly what Finn was saying.

"Why would I tell you anything, you were Kurt's brother and friend, and you were my enemy most of the time too? It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to tell you." Finn laughed as well.

"Yeah, I guess that does sound stupid. I just wish there had been something I could do to help you out. I mean, I freaked out when I heard you had, you know. To be honest I acted like a little girl, crying and all that. I honestly thought you were dead when you disappeared. I don't know why, but it freaked me out. I couldn't handle it. I almost broke your replacements arm" Finn laughed again.

"What? Really? Why?"

"Well, he made some cheap comment about you and how he was obviously so much better than you, and that we were lucky. I wasn't going to stand for that." Finn shook his head at the stupidity of his replacement, and it made Dave feel happy that Finn stood up for him. "I really wanted to talk to you that day, the day you came back. I swear I yelled at a hundred people that day. I couldn't believe how horrible people were."

"Do you blame them?"

"Yeah, I do. They had no right to say anything, or do anything that they did. What you did was serious. It's not like coming to school without pants on or farting really loud in the cafe. Why wouldn't you blame them?"

"I was an asshole, worse than an asshole. I was a tyrant and not the cool ancient version either. I was a jerk to everyone, and anyone. I don't see why they wouldn't want to get their jabs in when they could. I was down, why shouldn't they kick me. I probably would have done the same to someone else if they were in my position, I'm no saint, I did some crappy stuff and I now I'm doing my penance for it." Dave shrugged.

"Dude really? That's really what you think?" Dave nodded and shrugged again. "Why did you do it? It's been killing me. I know it's rude to ask but why? Why did you try to kill yourself? I realise you were having a crappy time at home, and hiding the fact you were gay, but you're smart, and a great football player, you're popular, you're..."

"I guess I just don't see things the same way you do. I really don't want to talk about that man. Sorry." Finn nodded.

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Do I really have a choice?" Finn put his hand on his chin in mock thought.

"No." Dave waited for a big question. A question that would tear at the depth of his very soul. A question he would have to think about for a long time. "Do you really hate Glee club?" Dave laughed hard, his ribs hurting as he did.

"That's what you want to know?" Dave chortled. He couldn't believe how simple the question was.

"Yeah, that's what I want to know. Do you?" Dave shook his head.

"I kind of loved Glee club. It was cool, but I it's the same with being gay. I couldn't join it because I wouldn't let myself believe I liked it. Anyway, I'd feel stupid in the Glee Club. I'm such a klutz and I'm not much of a singer."

"I don't believe that for a second. It's easy to sing."

"Yeah, when you're good" Finn hit him in the arm, Dave winced in pain.

"Oh shit, sorry man, I forgot." Dave waved his hand, telling him not to worry about it.

"You're really okay with me being gay?" Dave was worried about it.

"Yeah, I'm okay with it. I actually think I like you better gay, you're not as much of a douche bag as you were." They both stared at each other seriously, than burst into giggles. "So do you like, like someone?"

"What are we in fourth grade again?"

"Come on, do you?"

"No Finn, despite the amount of people that seem to want to have sex with you, I don't" Dave said rolling his eyes.

"Ouch, thanks man. Not me, I meant..." just as Finn was going to ask him the question he didn't want to answer, Mr. Hummel came into the room.

"Dave, I'm going to need you to come with me down to the police station."

"Why?"

"They are planning to pick up your Uncle, but they need to see the evidence of abuse. They want to bring him into jail, are you ready?" Dave wasn't. He was scared shitless. He didn't want to see his Uncle again. He felt Finn's hand on his shoulder.

"You want me to go with you man?" Dave shook his head. It was cliché, but he needed to do this alone. He began with his Uncle alone; he needed to end it alone.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

_**(A.N: You know what I hate. When people don't give you credit for your work. Seriously, it is annoying. GHRHADAJREUREJSDJ okay I'm done lol XD. You guys wouldn't do that would you, no I bet you wouldn't. You guys are awesome, and patient. )**_

Mr. Hummel helped Dave into the police station. His heart pounded loudly as he looked around, hoping not to see the man that had impaired him so. He could see a lot of different people in the station but they all had something in common. There were only three types of faces on the people waiting around; fear, sadness, and anger. He was pretty sure he knew which one he was.

Mr. Hummel led him to the front desk. The cop there searched through papers absent minded. It wasn't very busy in the station, but it still seemed like a lot for a small town. Mr. Hummel cleared his throat loudly when the cop didn't notice their presence. He looked up in surprise and noted Dave leaning on Mr. Hummel for support. "May I help you gentlemen?"

"My name is Burt Hummel, this is David Karofsky, we're here about..."

"Oh yes, come on in the back. Follow me." The cop led them into an office, when they were inside he closed the door behind them. "Please sit down" he said, pointing to two chairs in front of his desk. Mr. Hummel helped Dave over to the chair and set him down, then took the seat beside him. "Thank you for coming gentlemen. My name is Sergeant Ruskin; I spoke to you on the telephone. I can certainly see what you meant." He looked at Dave again, taking in his appearance. "Okay son, tell me what happened." Dave told Sergeant Ruskin a brief summary of what happened. The Sergeant listened patiently, and asked questions when he needed clarification. Dave was nervous about telling the cop about the fact that he was gay. He didn't want him to judge him. It sucked but the truth was, he was never the most homophobic guy in town.

"Go ahead David" Mr. Hummel encouraged when he came up to the part about being gay, and coming out to his father. Dave went through it quickly, looking in his hands. The Sergeant didn't 'uh huh' or 'hmm' or nod. Dave thought for certain he was cringing at his homosexuality. He hoped the cop would at least not make him go back home.

When he finished the story he waited patiently for a response. He felt himself shaking all over again. He hoped this wasn't a permanent thing for him, this weakness. If he became weak he wouldn't be able to play football anymore. That wasn't important right now anyway; he refocused his attention on the situation. He felt Mr. Hummel's hand on his shoulder.

"You should have come to us sooner son. This abuse should have never taken place." The Sergeant put his finger on his phone "Peterson, I want you to get an arrest warrant for a Mr. Jacob Michael Karofsky."

"What do I do after I get the warrant sir?" said a voice from the phone.

"Arrest the man you fool, he'll be at McCarthy's bar. And while you're at it, I want an arrest warrant on Paul Gregory Karofsky; we all know where Paul will be."

"Sure boss, I'll be right on it." Dave eyes snapped up to the Sergeant.

"You're arresting my dad?" Panic rose in his voice. Dave didn't want his dad to be arrested. He hadn't thought of his dad's involvement, or lack of it. "But he never hit me."

"It's neglect. He allowed you to be beaten badly and did nothing. You ever hear of Kitty Genovese?" Dave shook his head. "Never mind, the point is, you can't sit back and watch someone be hurt, without at least trying to do something to stop it. It's not how men act." He must have seen Dave's face, so he added. "I know he's your father, but we can't allow him to believe what he did was right. You understand right?" Dave nodded. He understood completely. "Now we need to have a doctor look over your injuries, so that we can have a medical report is that alright by you two?"

"That's fine by me, is it alright with you Dave?" Dave nodded; he didn't feel like he had much of a choice at this point anyway. There was a crackling noise from the phone and Dave heard a voice from the other end.

"Sir, we have to arrest warrant for Jacob Karofsky, we're going to get him now. Paul Karofsky's is taking a little more time."

"Alright, thank you Thomas." He looked at Dave "And so it begins." The Sergeant shuffled around some papers, looked through them intensely. He seemed to find what he was looking for and pulled it out and put it to the side. Then pulled out another paper and put it with the other.

"I'm going to also send over a request for a copy of your psych evaluation for the hospital, in the mean time I need you two to fills these papers back, I need to leave you for a moment so just relax and I'll be back soon. Can I get you two coffee?" Both Dave and Burt accepted the offer.

"Two sugars and cream" Mr. Hummel said.

"Black" Dave asked. The form didn't ask anything surprising. It asked him to write down his name, age, general questions like that, and then went into why he was here.

"It's going to be okay Dave. You'll get through all this just fine." Mr. Hummel seemed to read Dave's mind. Dave wasn't too sure though. His life was turning upside down and sideways. There was so much to think about. If they arrested his dad he would be officially alone in the world. The only other family he had was his Grandpa Murray, and he was in no condition to take care of Dave. He knew it was pointless to think about all that right now, and that it was better to be alone than to be beaten almost every day, but at the moment he still weighed the pros and cons of saying that he had lied.

Sergeant Ruskin came back after what seemed like a long time with coffees. Dave drank his in one long gulp that burned the inside of his throat and caused him to sputter a cough. "Easy there kid." When Mr. Hummel and Dave finished filling out the forms they gave them to the Sergeant. He looked them over thoughtfully, then stuck them in a folder. "Alright then, let me just get you some forms to bring with you to the doctors and you'll be on your..."

"Sir, Mr. Jacob Karofsky has been brought in sir."

"Thank you Thomas." The Sergeant looked at Dave. "Do you want to go out the back exit?" Dave shook his head. He was terrified, but he wanted to see his Uncle. "Good on you" he heard Ruskin say under his breath.

The Sergeant led them out to the front desk where he picked up the forms they need for the doctor. Dave saw his Uncle handcuffed to a desk in where a police officer was talking to him. He looked angry, and just as mean as always. Dave wondered for a moment if his Uncle would even see him, and thought maybe he would get out of the station without any confrontations. However as always as he thought this his Uncle looked away from the cop, in Dave's direction. When he saw Dave he spat on the floor and let out a laugh.

"Hey, watch it bud." The cop in front of him shouted.

"I see your still alive Queer, how did you make it out there in the big bad universe. Lazy Queer like you couldn't survive without a little help could you. Little Queer can't fight his own battles." Dave stared at him hard. He convinced himself that there was nothing he could do to hurt him.

"I made it just fine thanks."

"You think your tough shit don't you, but you weren't that tough when I was giving you your punishment were you? Fags run away. Where did you run away to, your boyfriend's?"

"He came to me." Mr. Hummel spat, looking over at Jake Karofsky with a look of complete venom. "And only self righteous, pathetic assholes beat up on kids."

"Ha, Hummel isn't it? Isn't your son a fairy fuck too? Yeah, he is isn't he? Well he's better off with you lot anyway." Jake looked over at Dave "They should be locking you up instead of me. You'd enjoy getting ass raped would you, you sick queen. It doesn't matter much anyway; you and his son will probably die of AIDS soon any..." Dave didn't get to hear the rest of his Uncle's rhetoric; Mr. Hummel jumped across the room and punched Jake Karofsky in the face.

"You son of a bitch!" The other officers leaped up and grabbed Mr. Hummel, holding him back. Dave's Uncle just laughed, licking blood off his lips.

"If you think you're in pain now Davey boy, you should have felt what I had prepared for you. It would have been marvellous" his Uncle laughed again. "A punishment fit for a crazy fag."

"Come on Dave let's get out of here." Mr. Hummel said, grabbing the forms from the Sergeant and helping him out the door. As they left Dave heard an officer in a low whisper say the thing that he had dreaded hearing the whole time he sat in the Police Station.

"I would've done the same thing man, fags."


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

_**(A.N: So the time has come for my lovely dear readers to make a decision. I am leaving for Italy on April 8**__**th**__** which means I will not have Chapters out for 10 days while I am exploring Venice, Mestre, Florence, Padova, Lucca, and Rome. I WILL NOT be bringing my computer. That is not an option. Don't even think of suggesting that. My computer is too important for me to risk losing. Sorry, but if I lost it that would mean you would never have another update from me. The options are 1. I finish the story quickly before I leave or 2. Do a chapter a day as per usual and then you wait for chapters, which would mean more chapters and more story. You decide and let me know. Thank you also sorry for the shortness.) **_

Dave sat on the examination table as the doctor turned his ankle gently. Dave cringed but didn't make a sound. Football had prepared him well for medical examinations. He waited silently as the doctor pushed his finger into the flesh of his ankle.

"Do you really need to do that?" Mr. Hummel asked looking at Dave's pained expression.

"Do you need to fiddle around with a car before you figure out what's wrong with it?"Asked the doctor patiently, looking at Mr. Hummel over top round glasses.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well I need to check out the body before I can make a complete diagnosis. Well, your ankle is fractured. You should have had a cast of this right away. I'll put the cast on now, and you should probably use crutches for a while." Dave opened his mouth to ask the doctor a question, but the doctor stopped him before he could talk. "Don't worry David; you will be okay to play football again in a couple of weeks, as long as we put it in a cast right away." The doctor wrote something on a chart then continued to look at his body. He went up his leg, taking note about all the scars and bruises. "Can you lift your arm up for me" Dave obeyed painfully. He hissed slightly. It hurt to lift his arm at all. "Just hold it there, I won't be too long".

The doctor pushed his fingers firmly into his chest. Dave gritted his teeth tightly, the doctor made a lot of inquisitive noises. Then put a stethoscope up his chest, making more inquisitive noises. "You've broken a few ribs as well, but I see you've taken care of it quite well. I guess your use to injury being a football player huh?"

"Yeah, I guess" Dave wanted to add that it helped being beaten at home as well.

"I'll give you some medicine to rub on your chest to numb the pain while they heal" the doctor said, lifting his shirt and taking note of the scars and bruises on his chest and stomach. "Now let's look at that face. You can put your arm down." The doctor looked closely at the bruises and cuts on his face; he lifted up the gauze on his head slowly. Re-opening the wound, Dave felt the warm trickle down his head. "This needs stitches, does it hurt?" Dave thought that the question was supposed to be a joke, but when the doctor stared at him he realised it was legitimate.

"Yeah, not as much as my ankle and my ribs, but yeah." The doctor nodded thoughtfully and walked over to his counter and opened up a drawer. He pulled a sewing needle and thread, a needle for a shot, a pair of scissors, and lastly some new gauze. He put the needle into the wound and then sewed up his head. Dave didn't pay attention to the pain. He put himself somewhere else until the doctor was finished. He imagined himself on the football field, in perfect condition, scoring big time, his usual day dream. Only something was different this time, this time his father wasn't there. In his place was a tiny, brown haired boy in a blue jacket and brown scarf. The boy held up a big yellow sign with green sparkly letters and various pictures of him. Dream Dave looked up at the boy and smiled a gigantic smile. Dream Kurt screamed his name loudly, but for some reason the dream didn't make him as happy as it usually did.

"I'd also like to do an MRI on you David, just to make sure no severe cranial damage was done. I'll squeeze you in for today, so we can send these papers over to the station ASAP" Dave hated it when people said ASAP.

"So what do you say doc? Will he be okay?" Mr. Hummel asked, putting his hand on Dave's shoulder.

"Well as I said, we are going to check for any cranial damage, but otherwise he seems to have taken good care of the wounds. I'm surprised; you would be shocked at the amount of people who don't bother wrapping up injuries. I'm going to prescribe some medication for the pain. You also look very pale, I'd like you to get a good night's rest, and eat a good meal tonight. You told me he took a good fall yesterday didn't you?" The doctor turned to Mr. Hummel.

"Yeah, said he didn't eat for two days." Mr. Hummel shook his head like it was the worst tragedy ever.

"That's not good for a football player, you know that David." Dave nodded.

"We'll make sure he's taken care of Doc" Mr. Hummel said strongly. Dave smiled for a moment, turning his face away from the doctor and Mr. Hummel.

"Alright let me go see if I can schedule this MRI" and with that the doctor left the room.

"We'll have to figure out a sleeping arrangement that doesn't involve you trekking up and down the stairs every day" Mr. Hummel mumbled, leaning against the wall.

"What do you mean?" Dave asked.

"Well, you want to walk up the stairs a couple times a day with a cast on?"

"No, but..."Dave didn't know how to ask, he had never had to worry about where he was going to sleep and eat. It was frightening.

"I said we'd take care of you. I'm not going to leave you at the side of the road am I?" Dave laughed nervously.

The doctor walked back into the room with a form, a cast, and crutches. He put the cast on Dave's ankle and helped him adjust the crutches to his height. "You can just head over to imaging; they'll take you right away".

"Thanks Doc" Mr. Hummel said. Silently the two walked to the imaging department. Through the whole process all Dave could think about was what Mr. Hummel had told him. He was so consumed in though that he forgot to be embaressed when he took off his clothes for the MRI and put on the weird gown thing. He didn't stop thinking when they put the needle in his hand. Not until he was on the car ride back to the Hummel-Hudson house did he snap back to reality.

For some reason, rather than being ecstatic, Dave was sad. He felt as though everything was going so fast, but he was walking slowly. It felt as though at any moment he would be whipped back and thrown across the room. He knew he was lucky to have been picked up, and given shelter, but more than one thing was missing, and something deep inside of him wanted to talk to his dad. Despite all his faults and the fact that he didn't care about him, he couldn't shake the pain inside that wanted more than anything to get a hug and an I love you from the man who helped create him.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

_**(A.N: So it is unanimous, I shall be continuing when I get back. It's funny but I never thought the story would go on as long as it has. I am [of course] happy that it has, and will go on longer. I mean 37 chapters. Jeez, when I started I thought 15 would be a lot. I also hoped to be finished this story before the Karofsky episode comes out [which it still might] but it all doesn't matter. It's great to know that you guys are willing to stick it through. I know I'm going to be in Italy and look around and think "I wonder if any of these people read my story" then giggle because it's unlikely [I know there are people from Italy who read my FF but what is the likelihood any of them would be exactly where I am?] anyway YAY thank you Oh added side note, my friend Michelle wants credit for telling me how casts work, thank you Michelle. Also super side note, this chapter is...awkward. )**_

"You're moping" Kurt said placing himself on the arm of the couch. Dave moaned loudly, and looked up at Kurt. Kurt's face was expressionless and firm. Dave lifted the pillow underneath his head and put it over his face. He knew he was just reinforcing Kurt's point but he didn't want to talk to him right now. "Get up Edward Cullen; we may have called a truce but that doesn't mean you can pull this emo boy persona". Dave kept quiet underneath his pillow. He hoped if he didn't reply Kurt would leave, and he could go back to sleeping and thinking. Dave heard Kurt sigh dramatically, and heard him get to his feet. Dave smiled underneath the pillow, and he loosened his grip on the pillow. Suddenly his face was uncovered and Kurt stood above him, his arm crossed, and the pillow on the floor beside him. "Get up."

"Why?" Dave asked. He hadn't felt like moving at all. It wasn't just his body either, though as he was healing everything felt sore and tired.

"For one thing, this is a couch, not just your current sleeping arrangements. Maybe someone would like to watch T.V" Kurt answered, pointing at the T.V in front of them.

"Fine, I could move back upsta..."

"Secondly, you can't spend your entire life sleeping. How long have you gone without a shower? Or have you completely forgotten about personal hygiene? Despite you're obviously aversion to it, there is things you could be doing that don't involve you lying on my couch." Dave sighed, moving his leg off the pillow keeping it elevated and putting it on the ground. Taking this as a cue Kurt sat beside him. Dave stared at him as he did. He always found it fascinating the way Kurt sat down, as though he was in one of those old movies.

Dave knew he had been moping, but he couldn't help it. The problem wasn't a lack of things to do, it was that there were too many things to do, too many things to think about. All of it crowded his brain and made it so full that he didn't want to do anything at all. When he had come back to the Hummel-Hudson's after his medical examination it hit him hard. Nothing could go back the way it was, ever. It made him so sick that he couldn't eat, and he had had a hard time sleeping. "I know there are things to do." Dave sighed. He stared at the ceiling hard.

"Maybe freshening up will make you feel a little better. What do you think?" Dave shook his head. He wanted to have a shower, but it was difficult with a cast on.

"I guess if you could find a plastic bag long enough to cover my cast, and a stool. Otherwise, I'm pretty dead here" Dave said pointing to his leg.

"We have garbage bags, and a stool in the garage, and I'll help you up the stairs. I'm not joking when I say you reek quite badly Karofsky" Kurt said in a monotone voice, but smiled when he said it. Still as Kurt when to go get the stuff Dave smelt himself. As usual Kurt was right. The chubby, sweaty, football player definitely needed to clean up. He was well aware of how horrible he looked.

"Where's your dad, and Finn's mom, and Finn?" Dave asked as he saw Kurt gliding up the stairs with some things in his hands.

"My dad is at work, Carole is out shopping, and I think Finn's hanging out with Puck today. Doing some macho jock thing probably, no offense." Kurt yelled down.

"None taken" Dave yelled back. Kurt came back downstairs; he picked up Dave's crutches from the floor and handed them to him. Dave raised himself carefully. His ribs hurting as he put his armpits on the crutches. Slowly he made his way towards the stairs, Kurt following him at his pace. When he got to the stairs Kurt took the crutches and leaned them against the wall.

"Be careful" Kurt said and he put his arm around Dave's waist. Dave felt a tingle of embarrassment as he imagined the smell Kurt was suffering. Kurt suffered in silence though as they made their way up the stairs with difficulty.

"You're strong" Dave said absent minded. He was thinking about his appearance, how rival teams sometimes called him the Titan Bear.

"What, you think that a little gay, musical theatre kid can't be strong?"

"Oh come on, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant, I know I'm a big guy, you're pretty strong to be lugging me up the stairs like this. Don't think everything I say is an insult." Kurt didn't say anything. It was only when they got to the bathroom did Kurt said anything.

"Do you need help?" Kurt asked apprehensively. Dave shook his head quickly.

"No, no, no I'm fine. No. No. I'll be okay on my own."

"You don't think I'm going to come on to you in there do you?" Dave laughed anxiously.

"No, I may not know a lot about being gay yet, but I know that that's not how it works now."

"Then what?" Dave mumbled something under his breath. "What?"

"I don't want you to see me naked." Dave said, turning bright red. He had always hated getting changed in front of other boys, but if Kurt was helping him, that would mean he would be focusing on his body. Dave didn't want to Kurt to see his stomach, or his chest, or his body period. He didn't really want to see it himself, let alone have Kurt (whose body was cute) to see him. Dave limped into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind him. Inside the bathroom was a garbage bag, and inside the shower stood a stool. Dave smiled.

After his shower Dave put his clothes back on. He had never figured out where his backpack was, and had forgotten to ask. These clothes weren't too dirty anyway. He didn't have a comb or anything to run through his hair though. He decided it didn't matter. His face was already gross looking, what did it matter what his hair looked like.

Dave slipped out of the bathroom carefully. He didn't know where Kurt was. He hoped he hadn't gone out and left him stranded upstairs. "Karofsky, come into my room" cautiously Dave made his way over to Kurt's door and opened it up.

Inside Kurt was standing next to a table with a mirror attached. He remembered when he was young his mom had one. Kurt gestured dramatically over to a seat in front of it. Dave was unsure of what was going on, but decided to trust Kurt. He sat down on the chair and looked at himself in the mirror. He frowned bitterly as he looked at himself.

Above him he saw Kurt's hand coming down on his head with a long black item. His first reaction was to flinch. Kurt gave him a sympathetic look, and opened his hands to show it was only a comb. "What are you doing?" Dave asked.

"I'm giving you a makeover" Kurt said, running the comb through Dave's hair lightly.

"Why?" Dave didn't feel like objecting, he was too tired, but he didn't understand why anyone would want to give him a makeover.

"You seem like you need one" Kurt said flatly. Dave frowned, it stung that Kurt thought he needed a makeover, though Dave knew he wasn't a hottie, he hadn't expected Kurt to say it so bluntly. "I don't mean your unattractive Karofsky only that you think you are."

"Don't you think I am?"

"What, unattractive?" Kurt asked as he reached for a spray can.

"Yeah."

"No, you're a little bit of a diamant à l'état brut, but you have potential" Kurt worked white foam into his hair. He didn't have a lot of hair to begin with, but the way he was styling it seemed to bring out the natural curl near the front and make it look neater. He then took a tiny white pillow and rubbed it in powder, then began dotting his face with the powder.

"What is that stuff?" Dave asked, coughing as some of it entered his mouth.

"Foundation, normally it would be too light on you, but as you've been pretty pale lately it seems to match nicely." Dave coughed more, and furrowed his eye brows. He was really getting a makeover.

After that Kurt grabbed another powder, only this one was a different colour. He put this lightly on Dave's face. Dave watched as the darkness of his bruises faded, making them look less severe. His scares lost their deep redness and Kurt worked the powder across his face.

"Whoa. How do you do that?" Dave gasped.

"That's how concealer works Karofsky, it's not rocket science. People learn how to use make-up when they're like eight." Dave was amazed though. He had never used make-up so he had never realised its amazing abilities. He didn't particularly like the feel of it on his skin, but he liked the effect. He looked less like a zombie, and more like a person.

"You're just so good at it. You're a genius" Dave spat out. Kurt smiled but kept up his work. He put the powder away and brought out a little pencil. "Wait, what is that?"

"Eyeliner" Kurt said, folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't know, I don't want ..."

"You don't want anyone to think your gay?" Kurt asked knowingly. Dave knew it was wrong. He was gay, and he had come out. His mind still had trouble separating from his old ways though.

"Do it." Dave said firmly. Kurt hesitated. "Do it, go ahead." Not waiting for anymore prompt than that Kurt began using the weird pencil thing. It was weird, and Kurt had to do it more than once. It felt odd to Dave, and though when he looked in the mirror, the brown eyeliner brought out the colour of his eyes, he still was sure he'd never use it again.

"See, you're not half bad for a "queer" boy are you?" Kurt smiled, looking into the mirror, then frowned.

"What?" Dave asked, looking at himself critically.

"Those clothes, they are burning holes into my retinas. I cannot stand by and let them destroy my eyesight."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we are going shopping."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

_**(A.N: I'm back. Sick, but back. Ugh I miss Italy, but I also missed you guys. On a completely different note, that scene with Karofsky, Blaine, Kurt and Santana tonight made my heart sad. I honestly felt like Karofsky's mother. I guess I've been writing this fanfiction for so long that I feel like it is an actual Glee story and not something I made up. It really hurt to see Karofsky letting out his aggression like that, but only because I feel like it will set back people's opinion of his character. That it will resurface all the negative feelings about him, and people will have a harder time looking past that. His look when Santana was standing up for Kurt and Blaine was complete agony). **_

"What is he doing here?" Dave asked suspiciously as a dark haired boy in a dark blue sweater came running over. The boy took Kurt's hand in his own and kissed him on the cheek gently. Dave felt a painful shiver down his spine.

"Be nice" Kurt hissed under his breath at Dave, but he wasn't sure he would be able to be nice. At this moment the very idea seemed impossible.

"What's he doing here?" asked That Blaine, staring at him hard.

"Have you seen his ensemble, he obviously needs to be here" Kurt said, blushing from the kiss.

"That's not what I mean hun. Why is he here with you?"

"He is living with us right now, and I cannot have anyone in my household have taste as bad as his" That Blaine's face twisted in confusion. "I'll explain it to you later; right now the two of us need to show him how to dress. We can be like...Queer eye for the new homosexual guy." That Blaine raised his eyebrows. "You can be Carson."

"Done! Alright, let's turn this pumpkin into Cinderella" That Blaine said, laughing, forcing a smile.

"Wait, hold up! I don't want this guy dressing me up like a clown."

"Well you're doing a pretty good job of it yourself" That Blaine remarked, Dave growled.

"Watch your mouth" Dave murmured, his defensive nature rising to the surface. Dave stepped forward to threaten That Blaine, forgetting he was on crutches. Before he knew it he was stumbling to the floor, his balance failing him. He was sure he was going to clatter the ground, but Kurt caught him before that could happen.

"Both of you can stop this. There are no brawls in shopping" Kurt hissed.

"You obviously haven't gone into American Eagle during a big sale" That Blaine gave Kurt a knowing look and smirked. Dave felt a weird churning in his stomach; he had a bad feeling that he was going to be way in over his head with this. That Blaine looked around anxiously. He obviously was still unhappy about being around Dave. He looked Dave up and down taking in his crutches, and cast. "So where do we want to take him?"

"I'm not sure. I think we should start with the Gap and go from there" Kurt said critically, looking Dave over. "We definitely cannot take him to Marc Jacobs looking like this. I would never be able to show my face there again."Kurt chuckled and shifted his head to the side, pointing into the direction they would be walking. Dave followed moodily as That Blaine and Kurt walked hand in hand towards their destination.

The moment Dave walked into the store he felt overwhelmed. He had worn the same clothes for the last three years, and he had bought them at a thrift store on a Monday afternoon. This was a Sunday, in a legitimate store, where there was more than one style, in more than one colour.

"Excuse me" said a woman behind him. He hadn't even realised he was blocking the way. That Blaine and Kurt looked at him in confusion.

"Don't worry Karofsky, we aren't going to hurt you" Kurt said, but Dave wasn't so sure. Slowly he made his way into the store, the two taking him into the men's sections. The racks became a blur in Dave's eyes.

"What colours do you think we should go with?" That Blaine asked, looking through shirts.

"Uh, greens and blues would be best. We need to stay away from dark drab colours, though we should get some black more elegance, but charcoal not midnight. We should definitely stay away from dark reds" Kurt commented absent minded.

"I like reds" Dave mumbled, thinking about his team colours. Neither Kurt nor That Blaine seemed to listen though.

"What do you think of this?"Asked That Blaine, holding up a light pink blouse.

"No, I'm thinking more of something like this" Kurt said, holding up a small dark green polo.

"Really? I don't know if it is right for his body type. Also, that green is all wrong, I think we should go with an emerald or mint green."

"You're so right; it would go much better with his eyes."

Dave stopped listening. He didn't understand colour or patterns or fabrics or styles. Kurt and That Blaine saw differences in tops that looked exactly the same to Dave. That didn't bother him so much though. He didn't mind all the talk of fashion and what not, he even found it semi-interesting (even though he had no idea what any of it meant), and though it wasn't really his thing. It wasn't really as bad as he had thought it would be.

The problem was that they were shopping for him, without any input from him. They were acting as though he didn't exist. Just like his dad always did. He had pretended he was just background. That his opinions didn't matter. Everyone treated him like he didn't have the brain capacity to think for himself, or that even if he did nothing he said could have any shred of importance. That he was just a football playing machine with no other abilities or functions. That he was nothing.

He felt his arms being stuffed with clothes. "He can try these on" said Kurt to That Blaine. Dave felt his numbing anger again. He didn't want to fight anymore though, or do something irrational so he did the only thing he could think of; he walked out.

Dropping the clothes on the floor, Dave limped out of the store towards a bench and sat down. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but it was better than snapping. He didn't want to be an raging bully anymore.

"What was that all about?" he heard Kurt say, his hands over his chest as he walked towards Dave.

"Nothing, forget it" Dave grumbled, grinding his teeth.

"Well I can see how much you've changed" Kurt said sarcastically "from bully with anger issues to..."

"Why don't you just go shopping with your little boyfriend and leave me alone" Dave shouted, barely noticing the people staring at them. "You don't need me to be here anyway, you don't care what I have to say anyway. I'm just dead weight, you don't even need me here. Go pick out your corals and magentas and leave me out of it" it took everything in Dave not to clench his fists and ram them down Kurt's throat.

Kurt looked shocked, but nodded. Dave was sure his was in for an unwanted battle, but he no longer cared. He didn't want to take this anymore, from anyone.

"You're right" Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry."

Dave was flabbergasted "What?"

"You're right. You may not have any taste, but these clothes are going to be for you, not me, and not Blaine. We should at least ask what you think of them before we force you to try them on" Kurt gave him a look of genuine apology. "Do you even like anything in the Gap?"

"Uh, I liked that light green shirt thing, with the collar, and uh...those beige pant things" Dave stumbled, unsure of himself.

"Alright, let's see how those look on you" Dave smiled and went back into the store with Kurt.

"And one red shirt" Dave added.

"You're really pushing it, but I will allow one red shirt" Kurt looked at Dave with a mock glare "One."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

_**(A.N: so...let's pretend this was uploaded yesterday. I have Lary in Gitus which all we Gleeks know what that means. This sucks as I go to a school for the performing arts...for vocal no less. Damn this horrible cold thing, you shall make me fail my class! Rah so I have been listening to the new songs for Glee and I feel pretty/Unpretty is bloody adorable. Also...I received the best comment ever from one of you. That the reader "wished they would let me write for the show". ah way to make my life. It is my secret impossible dream to write for Glee...ah...that would be awesome. Anyway on to the story). **_

Dave dropped down into the hard food court chair. His whole body ached and cried for nourishment and a nice warm bed to snuggle up in. However he knew only one of those things would happen.

Kurt laughed as That Blaine rushed in front of him to pull his chair out gracefully. Dave frowned, he would have thought of doing that for Kurt if he hadn't been on crutches...probably. He couldn't believe that only a few days ago the idea of shopping and hanging out with two known queers would have terrified and now he was doing it with nothing to fear. Well, almost nothing. Still, it was an improvement.

"So what can I get you Karofsky" That Blaine asked, clapping his hands like an over excited waiter.

"I'm fine thanks" Dave replied. He wanted a deluxe cheeseburger with hot peppers and ketchup, but he looked at these slim beautiful guys and didn't want to be judged.

"You sure?" Asked That Blaine.

"Don't be immature Karofsky, you're hungry, eat something, or I am going to order you something so grossly healthy that it will make your insides shut down. You decide."

Dave cleared his throat "I'll just have a cheeseburger, with hot peppers and ketchup" Dave grumbled.

"Make it a deluxe hun" Kurt smiled "And you know what I want" Kurt's eyes glistened with amusement. That Blaine nodded and walked away towards the food court. Dave turned to Kurt.

"How did you know that I..."

"Come on Karofsky, you're no Di Vinci. It was a guess, I was right though so it doesn't really matter" Kurt smiled impishly. "So how did you do? Did we pick out clothes that you enjoy?" Dave nodded; they had abandoned the Gap after one shirt and two pairs of pants and went over to West 49 to where he got some cool graphic t-shirts and a hoodie that both Kurt and Blaine approved of. "You okay?" Kurt asked concerned. Dave nodded though his ankle killed him. The walking had been hard. "What's wrong?" Dave shook his head, but Kurt wouldn't let up.

"It's just my ankle" Dave finally admitted. "It'll be fine though" he added. For a moment they sat in silence. "Why did you bring him anyway?"

"I have my reasons" Kurt replied slyly. That Blaine came back with food. He handed Dave his burger, gave Kurt a Salad with fruit and chicken in it, and a burger for himself. They began eating in silence, the tension between Dave and That Blaine obvious. Kurt cleared his throat and looked at That Blaine. "So, ladies and ladies, now I present you the reason I brought you here today on this glorious..."

"Kurt, are you going to burst into some big Broadway number in the middle of the mall?" That Blaine laughed, taking another bite of his burger, Kurt ignored him.

"Karofsky, Blaine really helped me come to terms with myself and understand who I am. He was a real rock when I needed someone, when I felt as though coming out was the worst decision I had ever made. He..."

"Raise me up so I could stand on mountains?" That Blaine added sarcastically. Kurt glared at him but ignored his comment.

"He helped me, and he might be able to help you" Kurt said, folding his hands on the table. That Blaine and Dave stared at Kurt like he was an alien.

"The last time I tried to help him he..."

"Last time was different" Kurt said, giving no explanation as to why. Dave was grateful he didn't just come out with his personal business. That Blaine however couldn't take that simple answer lying down.

"How is it different?"

"Just trust me Blaine, its different" Kurt said.

"But I want to know, what makes this time so much different than the..."

"I didn't know I could be alive and gay at the same time then. I didn't even know I was gay" Dave whispered.

"What do you mean alive?" That Blaine asked wide eyed.

"This is Ohio man; not all coming out stories are rainbows and fairy dust. I wasn't in the closet so I could get chicks." Kurt laughed but That Blaine just stared at him blankly, looking him up and down.

"Is that how you..."

"Yup, that's how. I told my Dad and my Uncle I was gay. They took it better than I thought" Dave laughed bitterly.

"Well, that's amazing you came out. It's a brave thing to do, accepting yourself for who you are, and who you love. It's important."

"What's so important about it? It's a pain in the ass." Dave thought about all the problems him being gay had caused for everyone, including the two guys sitting with him. He thought of all the horrible feelings, and all the hate, and all the lies that came with being gay. To him (though he was happy to admit it) being gay was a nuisance.

"Yeah, it's true...it can be a pain in the ass to be different, but let me ask you this. Were you happy when you were hiding, were you happy being something you're not?"

Dave thought about it. No, he wasn't...he obviously wasn't happy when he was coming to terms with being gay, but even before that there was always something bugging him. There was always something pulling him down and making him want pull his skin off. "Not really no" he admitted.

"Well then, maybe all the pain and annoyance is worth it. If you can't be happy what's the point? If you're not happy you're just wasting your life" Blaine gave him a serious look. "I was miserable before I came out, and though coming out came with its challenges...I left my school, lost friends, lost a little bit of myself, but it was worth it in the end because right now I couldn't be happier. I have Kurt, I have the Warblers, I have myself...I can look in the mirror and say 'yeah...that's me. I love myself'."

Dave couldn't wrap his head around it all. It made so much sense, but Dave couldn't imagine a day when he could look in the mirror and say 'I love myself'. He had never loved himself; he couldn't even fathom himself thinking that. It was also more complicated for him. "Did you lose your family?" He asked in a gruff voice.

"No, I didn't. My parents weren't happy but they stayed with me. I can't honestly say I understand how it feels to be hurt like that by the people who are supposed to love you no matter what; I can only say that it is there loss."

Dave shook his head. "It's my loss, I'm shit out of luck ain't I. I'm out in the cold, alone, with not a lot of options."

That Blaine laughed and shook his head. "You're not alone. It takes a lot to be willing to stand on your own for something like this, but it takes courage, real courage to take a helping hand and realise that you will never be alone as long as you're open to the people reader to help you up, even if the people who are ready to help are a bunch of fairies."

"Why would you want to help me? I pushed around your boyfriend."

"Redemption and courage Karofsky. You have to learn that the world runs on change. If it didn't I wouldn't be the proud gay man I am now. If it didn't you wouldn't be sitting here a little bit wiser, and a little bit stronger than you have ever been." Blaine smiled, and Dave thought that maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all...even though he was dating Kurt.

"You think I can be redeemed?" Dave asked, he could feel blush on his cheeks.

"If anyone can, it's you."


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

_**(A.N: I would just like to inform my readers that infatuation sucks Also...shout out to Amethyst Archer and jspencer1986 for being epic bamfs that make my day .)**_

"I don't have any of my books" Dave mumbled, staring at the T.V.

"I could pick them up for you. That or you can ask for spare books for now, and we could get you a couple notebooks for now" Mr. Hummel said, switching the T.V off.

"I don't want to be any trouble, anyway I was thinking of getting a job or something full time. I don't think I'll have time for school" Dave said, wishing the T.V was back on.

"You are not quitting school" Mr. Hummel growled, standing in front of Dave.

"Are you sure you have a say in this?" Dave shot back; he just wanted to be left in peace about this subject.

"Pretty sure I do as you are under my roof right now, eating my food, and sleeping on my couch. Actually I would say I have one hundred per cent say in this. As in, you have two options, I get your stuff or you get new stuff. Take your pick." Dave clenched his teeth and glared into the distance. He didn't like either of these options, they all meant going back. Dave had thought he could handle it, but the swirling feeling in his gut said that he couldn't.

"I don't want to go back" Dave murmured under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I don't want to go back" Dave thought he sounded like a kid, but he didn't know how else to express his thought. Mr. Hummel sighed and sat beside him.

"You can't just hide under a rock Karofsky. I'm not going to stand for that. It's going to suck, but I'm sure you'll find a way to get through it."

"What by switching schools?" Dave sniped, knowing he was taking an uncalled for low blow.

"No, that wasn't right, you can't run away. Are you a guy who would run away? When shit gets hard on the field do you run away?"

"No"

"Then it would be stupid to do it now. Anyways...like I said, you don't get a choice in this matter. I'm going to drive you to school tomorrow, and if I have to drag you in there by your crutch I will." Dave nodded in understanding and Mr. Hummel walked away. Dave felt like banging his head against a wall, but he decided that bad decisions were not a good idea.

He honestly couldn't imagine the amount of hate he was going to receive tomorrow. He tried to multiply the worse abuse he had ever dished out by one hundred and fifty but his imagination wouldn't allow him to go that far. All he knew was that he was probably going to come back to the Hummel-Hudson's more beat up than he was now.

He knew Finn would try to protect him, but he couldn't be there all the time. There would be moments where he would be alone and knowing his 'friends' they would take it and use it to they're advantage. His friends weren't smart, but they were cunning when they wanted to be. It was a scary combination, stupidity and cunning. An odd, illogical, and scary combination.

He also really did want to get a job. He wasn't about to live like a loafer under someone else's roof. He wasn't their kid; they didn't need to pay his way through life. He needed to learn to make it on his own. He wanted to learn to make it on his own. He looked at the clothes Kurt had bought him. He hadn't done anything for Kurt and here he was buying him things. To Dave, it didn't feel right.

He wouldn't have football to protect him either. Football had always been a safe guard for him. He could delve into football and forget about everything but football, but the way he was now; in a cast and sore, he couldn't play. It wouldn't help him with facing his team either; he knew they would be pissed at him for not being able to play. He also couldn't use the 'we are a team' excuse on them either, at the moment he wasn't on the team. He was a nothing nobody.

"Hey Karofsky, how was the shopping trip?" Finn asked with a grin, obviously amused at the thought of him trying on clothes with these two bright flames.

"It was fine" Dave replied, stuck in thought.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, why?" Dave looked up at Finn, and could see right away that he gave the wrong answer. Finn sat down beside him and stared him in the eye.

"You'll be fine you know."

"Yeah, just like Kurt was fine. Just like you were fine. Just like all you Glee kids are fine." Dave punched the couch hard.

"Well, before they had you. You were part of all that, I mean without you...they won't even be able to put to sentences together right?" Finn smiled, but Dave didn't take the bait.

"Just forget it okay."

"Karofsky, come on man. Don't worry about it. Worrying about it won't change anything."

"Yeah, but not worrying about it won't make it go away" he wasn't sure he could stop worrying.

"Dude, it's gonna be what it's gonna be. You'll live though; I'm going to make sure of that. I may have to crack a few skulls, but I'll stand by you" Finn cracked his knuckles with a smile.

"Even if they are your little Glee club friends?" Dave asked.

"What do you mean?" Finn asked blankly.

"Come on Finn. Your little Glee club hates my guts. They will without doubt make some sort of snub at me, and your friend Puck will definitely take a swing. What are you going to do then? Are you really going to risk a fight with your precious Glee club for me? I don't think so man."

"I will, if they do. If you had asked me that three days ago I might have had to do a little thinking, but after finding out how sensitive..."

"I am NOT sensitive" Dave shouted.

"You are a teddy bear. A candy covered heart. Rainbow sprinkles" Finn said.

"Shut up!" Dave screamed, punching Finn lightly in the arm. Finn laughed, and stared at Dave.

"If you act like you, instead of that dick head that use to go to our school you'll be fine. You're a good guy, despite what you may think. You surprised me."

Dave thought for a moment, struggling to find the right words. "You really think I'm a good guy?"

"Yeah I do. Unfortunately, I'm not the one you're going to have to convince tomorrow. I'm sure you'll do a good job."

"I'm dead" moaned Dave.

"That's the spirit!" Finn laughed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

_**(A.N: Oh my gods Glee tonight. Did you see how Dave's dad said "those gays"...jerk face. Ah I loved it...however I will not change the direction of my story...I can't at this point anyway so sorry if that annoys you, but it's not like I can backtrack. Still Karofsky looked so cute. I am trying to now think of what I would put on my t-shirt...probably "-5 self esteem")**_

Dave put on his new, blue graphic t-shirt on, and a new pair of black jeans. He combed his hair carefully. He decided to refuse the cover up that Kurt had offered him. If his friends thought he was wearing make-up it would make them all the more vicious. He slipped his McKinley letterman jacket over top, it didn't match but it made him feel more powerful. He slipped on the new backpack that Burt had picked up for him (which he would pay him back for) filled with a couple new binders. He felt as though he had huge stones at the bottom of his stomach weighing him down.

"You ready to go?" Mr. Hummel asked his car keys in hand, one foot out the door.

"I guess" Dave said, limping to the door. Mr. Hummel held it as he walked out.

"Finn! Are you coming or not, you're going to be late!"Mr. Hummel shouted loudly in Dave's ear. Dave heard a crash and stomping. He turned his head slowly to see Finn running down the stairs noisily. He tripped on the last step, stumbling to the ground. "You okay?"

"Yupp, just fine" mumbled Finn, getting to his feet, brushing himself off.

Dave got into Mr. Hummel's truck with difficulty. Finn offered to help him up, but he wanted to do it himself. It was part of his old nature that stuck with him strong. He wanted to be able to do things for himself.

It seemed as though they arrived at McKinley at light speed. Dave had no time to compile himself before they were parked and Mr. Hummel was grabbing his shoulder firmly. He gave Dave a look of confidence as he reached over and opened the side door to let the boys out. Finn jumped out right away awkwardly, and Dave looked at the ground apprehensively. He suddenly remembered the game he used to play with his friends when he was younger, the floor is lava. The asphalt below him looked like the red, burning liquid that Dave used to imagine under his couches. Slowly he lowered himself to the ground using his crutches. He looked back up at Mr. Hummel once he reached the bottom. Mr. Hummel smiled and tipped him hat, the reached over and closed the door, backing up immediately. Dave felt his heart drop as Mr. Hummel drove away. He wanted more than anything to run to the car and jump back in, but he couldn't.

"Come on man" Finn said, walking towards the school. Dave followed nervously. He looked around him, and caught stupid staring at him, whispering. Dave held his breath, then let it out in short wisps. He tried to pick up speed to keep up with Finn, but didn't want to fall.

"Hey Karofsky, you try to off yourself again?" Said a random voice in the crowd.

"Yeah Trevor, he saw your face and wanted to jump off a cliff" shot back Finn, slowing down to keep in step with Dave.

"Ugh, I didn't think it was possible for Karofsky to get uglier" sneered a girl named Lindsey Bateman.

"He's still prettier than you" he heard Finn mumble. Finn was still a gentleman in his own way, despite the fact that he was emotionally screwing with a bunch of people. He didn't want to insult a girl, and Dave was okay with that. He wouldn't want him to insult a girl either. From what Dave knew about girls, they were very emotionally unstable.

"Hey Karofsky, what's that on your...oh that's your face" Don Roberts shouted.

"Very creative Don, very brilliant."

"Did someone finally teach Karofsky a lesson in manners" some nerd whispered loud enough for him to hear.

"No, but if you don't keep your mouth shut I'll teach you something" Finn sniped, giving him the eye. It felt weird having Finn stand up to him like that. Like it was half enjoyable, but half awkward.

Finn dropped him off at his first class and smiled. As the other students in his class walked in he stared at them, as though inviting them to comment. They didn't, knowing that Finn could be a strong guy when he wanted to be. Nowhere near as tough as his Mohawk counterpart, but none the less strong. "I'll meet you here after class okay, I'll be right here".

"It's okay, you don't have to..."

"Don't worry about it man, I'll be here" he gave Dave one more bashful smile then walked away. Dave felt completely unarmed. He walked into the class and squeezed his way to his desk. He checked his seat before sitting down, it looked fine so he sat down, putting his crutches on the ground beside him. His seat partner Daniels looked over, and seemed to look right through him, as though he wasn't there at all. The girls behind him giggled and whispered in high, fast voices.

"Good morning class, I hope you all studied hard for today's quiz" there was a collective groan within the class, and a shuffle of books being put away. Beside him Daniels put up his hand, Mr. Schuester looked over. "Yes Mr. Daniels?"

"I don't think Karofsky's ready for the quiz..." he yelled out, giving the guy in front of him a high five. The class started to giggle and drum on the desks. Dave wasn't sure what was so funny about it, but apparently the class was not amused. Dave looked down at his desk, trying to block out all of the noise.

"I wouldn't make assumptions Mr. Daniels, I am almost positive he is more prepared than you are" Mr. Schuester replied. Dave knew he was right, Cory Daniels didn't know anything about the Spanish language, well Dave could probably figure out most of it.

The classed 'ooo'ed' and continued to drum the desks. Dave could imagine himself doing the same thing, but despite the fact that he was still the butt of everyone's jokes he was still glad that he was not joining in with these guys. From the outside in, he finally realised how foolish it looked. Mr. Schuester passed the tests out row by row. When he reached Dave's desk he whispered "do you want to give it a try?" Dave nodded, he didn't want to lose anymore face in front of his peers. Mr. Schuester smiled brightly and put a paper face down on his desk, then put one on Daniel's desk.

After class Dave waited by the door for Finn. "David may I speak with you?" Mr. Schuester said, half sitting, half leaning on his desk.

"Sure Mr. Schuester" Dave said, he remembered the times when he would have made a sarcastic remark about him asking if he could talk to him.

"How are you feeling David?" Mr. Schuester said, concern written into his face. He took in Dave's injuries.

"I'm doing fine, better than ever, thanks sir" Dave replied, and it was true. He was in pain, and life was confusing, but he had never been better.

"I have to admit, you don't look it. I also have to admit I was wondered about you" Mr. Schuester looked into Dave's eyes. He could feel Mr. Schuester's worry, and he felt a little bad about it.

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to worry you or anything...I'm okay though. Really, I'm feeling much better than I was" Dave felt a twinge in his stomach; he wanted to tell Mr. Schuester all about what was going on. "I'll make sure to catch up on what I missed."

"I'm not concerned about what you missed David, you're a smart kid, you aced the quiz. I'm concerned about you, about where you've been and why you look like a truck hit you, and how you're dealing with all these jerk kids."

"Sorry I'm late Karofsky, my teacher stopped me and...Oh hey Mr. Schue" Dave heard Finn behind him. He heard Finn move beside him.

"Finn, I didn't know you and David were friends" Mr. Schue said puzzled.

"Yeah well..." Finn looked at Dave, he knew Finn wanted to tell Mr. Schuester about what was going on as well, but he didn't want to tell Dave's secrets "Well lately we..."

"We made up after I started living at his place" Dave blurted out. He felt himself get embarrassed. He looked down at the ground to avoid eye contact with Mr. Schuester.

"Why are you living at Finn's?" Mr. Schuester asked, his voice filled with worry.

"Because I was kicked out..." Dave said, still not looking up. "That's why I haven't been at school...I've been hanging out until I could find some place to be. Finn and Mr. Hummel took me in." Dave felt Finn's hand on his shoulder, supporting him.

"I'm so sorry Dave...why didn't you come to me?" Mr. Schuester asked.

"I didn't think..."

"If you ever need a place to stay, ever, you make sure you come to me. You understand David? Are you okay?" He asked again, Dave was shocked. He felt unwanted tears in his eyes.

"Yeah...I'm going to be okay" Dave said forgetting about the kids waiting to tear into him in the halls.

"I can't believe your father would do this, why would he do this? Did he..."

"No. I don't want to talk about that." He didn't want to go into who beat him, and why, and how.

"You two better get to class I guess, just...remember I'm here okay?" Dave looked up at Mr. Schuester and saw the caring, and the warmth in his eyes. He smiled slightly and nodded. Him and Finn turned to leave the classroom, limping slowly out into the hall.

"Hey Karofsky, what are you doing back here" Dave heard a familiar voice say. He turned around to see his football friends standing with slushies in their hands. "You have some explaining to do."


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

_**(A.N: Note to self...do not under any circumstances listen to Wrock when writing a Glee fanfiction. All I could think of was making Dave go to Hogwarts, mind this chapter is a bit of a fail). **_

"Guys give it a rest" Finn said, turning around standing a little bit in front of Dave. Dave looked into the eyes of his teammates. Strando, John, Nick, his friends, the guys who hung out with him at McDonalds, who backed him up on the field, the guys he laughed with and joked with, were now looking at him with disdain and disgust in their eyes. They clutched their slushie cups firmly as they waited for the right moment.

"Move out of the way Hudson" Azimio said "We don't want to have to slush you to, but if it comes to it we have no problem letting you guys have a double slushie facial. It could be like a spa day, just you girls" Dave clenched his fists, then unclenched. He couldn't get angry. He would say something stupid if he got angry.

"No way you're doing this man, no way. You want to slushie Karofsky you have to slushie me" Finn said, stepping directly in front of Dave.

"Oh, what do we have here...you two lovers now or something?" Nick joked. Dave's fists re-clenched and wouldn't loosen. Nick had hit Dave's emotional Achilles heel, now he was burning.

"Shut up Nick" Dave yelled, trying to get past Finn unsuccessfully.

"Ooo, look at him go. We hit a nerve boys. Tell us Karofsky, you and Finn doing it under the bleachers after school? Is that why you look like shit? Did he plough you hard?" Nick taunted rudely, a couple people in the crowd laughed, but most looked around awkwardly.

"No but I heard your mom was down there with half the hockey team" Dave snapped. Nick stepped in front of the huddle, gripping the cup so tight the slushie dripped to the floor.

"Don't fuckin talk about my mother Karofsky, what would you know about mothers, s'not like you have one" Nick snapped back harshly. Dave tried to get past Finn again, but Finn held him back.

"He's not worth it "Finn whispered "Think about your leg." Dave knew he was right, but he still wanted to slug Nick in the mouth and the conflicting feelings were killing him.

"Yeah, protect your boyfriend Hudson; he's going to need it. Never know when he's going to try and off himself again, sissy ass f..."

"Hey, you shut the hell up Arnolds, why don't you mind your own business" Dave heard a voice from behind him. Dave saw Puckerman walk in front of Dave. He hadn't noticed that Puckerman wasn't with the other guys; he had just assumed he was. Dave, Finn, and the other football players all looked confused. Puckerman hated Dave, so why was he defending him.

"Why don't you mind your own business Puckerman" Nick said, mumbling.

"This is my business, this is my team, this is my school, hell this is my hallway, so why don't you get the fuck out of my hallway." Puck said smoothly.

Azimio looked over at Dave for a moment. His look was a little different from the others. He seemed disappointed and unsure of what to do. Dave wanted to talk to Azimio, to appeal to him to stop this. He knew Az could stop this if he wanted to. He was a very persuasive guy.

"You want to make me Puckerman? Nick shouted, throwing the slushie cup at Puckerman and lift his arms to push him. Puckerman blocked his arms, and pushed back hard.

"What the hell Puckerman, I thought you hated Karofsky?" Strando said.

"I despise the guy, but I also know when enough is enough, and it's enough...you understand bro? Done, finished. So you can take your little friends and beat the hell off." Puck glared them down. Nick wasn't having it. He looked Dave in the eyes and winked.

"Another of your boyfriends Davey? See you shouldn't try to kill yourself, what with these boys beating themselves up to get with you." Dave pushed past Finn hard, he no longer cared whether he did damage to himself. He could hear his Uncle's voice ringing in his ear. Calling him Davey Boy, making him feel like he couldn't be who he wanted to be.

"You know what Nick; you want to know why I tried to kill myself? Huh Nick you want this juicy information to tell your little gal pals, do you?" Nick stared him down, but Dave could see the fear in his eyes.

"Yeah..." Dave didn't let him finish.

"I tried because of people like you" he swivelled a little. "Like all of you, like me who just make stupid, ignorant comments that make people feel like crap because they want to feel like they have the biggest stick in the playground." Dave growled, pushing the guy back a bit. "Because you guys are the shittiest friends ever who wouldn't accept each other for who they are rather than how powerful they are."

"Listen to him; he sounds like a fairy..."

"That's because I am a fairy fuck Nick, I'm a big ass fairy who likes dude okay. That's it, that's all. You don't like it you can go cry to your whore mother, but that's it. You want to beat me up, go ahead."

Dave smiled as twenty sets of fists came flying at him at once. He could feel Finn covering his head, and he could hear Figgins yelling for the crowd to disperse. It was weird how teachers always came just on time. He was glad to have told his team. He could finally breathe. Everyone knew, he didn't have to hide it from anyone anymore. Everything looked clearer. Through his clear eyes he saw Azimio walk away from the crowd, his eyes on the ground. He looked so hurt, and sad.

"You stay away from me Karofsky" he heard Nick yell. "You're worse than Hummel! You are disgusting! I hope you can't play for the rest of the season. I hope you transfer" Dave felt a jab to the face, and one to the leg. It hurt, but no more than hiding had. At least everyone was now in the loop.

"Everyone, everyone break it up" he heard Figgins screaming. Dave tried to imagine what Kurt would say if he saw this. He would probably comment on Dave's lack of tact (as always) and would have commented on the fact that he picked a fight with a bunch of angry football players.

"Hey Puckerman" Dave cried out. Puckerman turned around, just missing someone's fist in his face.

"What?" he asked, in a moody tone.

"Why did you?" But Puckerman wouldn't let him finish. Instead he punched some guy in the face and said.

"And I always thought you played for my team."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

_**(A.N: So here comes the part where I ask you to do something really silly, and stupid. It's one of my many impossible dreams to have one of the Glee members-actors- to read my story. I don't really care if they like it or not-I don't expect them to- but just to know that one of them took the time to read it would be really, really cool. So here is the question, could some of you or a few of you maybe mention this Fan Fict to a Glee actor on twitter –I don't really care which one, though Max, Chris, Cory, or Jane would be like a dream come true- and maybe give them a link. I know it is a long shot, and it's okay if none of you do this, I know it's a lot to ask, but I would really, and truly appreciate if someone did that. I love you, and even if you don't I'm glad to have you guys. It would just be cool you know? Peace!).**_

"I'll wait for you outside" Dave said, leaning heavily on his crutches. His new black eye shining brightly against his pale skin. Dave could feel it throbbing, and he wondered if it looked as bad as it felt.

"What, so you can get beat up again, I don't think so. Come in with me" Finn said, opening the door to the Glee room. Dave looked at the door with a look of fear. He had not had many good experiences in that room, and the Glee kids scared him more than his fellow athletes had. It was a whole room of people who detested him, even before he came out. "Dude its cool. You don't have to sing or anything, just come in and chill while I do my thing. Burt will pick us up after that." Dave shifted his weight a little. He hadn't even thought about singing. Now his palms were sweaty. What if they made him sing? He didn't even want to think about what would happen if he sang. It would be a train wreck he was sure of it.

"No, no it's not that. I can wait outside really man. I could use some fresh..." Finn cut him off.

"I'm not leaving you alone; I might as well cover you in red paint and throw you at the team. Anyway...I want you to see something." Dave sighed as Finn opened the door for him to walk in. Dave walked as slow as he could, entering he could see Mr. Schuester at the piano, Mr. Schuester smiled at him but he was the only one that did. Everyone else looked as though someone had just let out a deadly fart.

"What is he doing here?" Rachel Berry screamed, standing up and flattening the sides of her hair, then her skirt.

"I invited him Rachel" Finn said, coming in behind him. He made a gesture for Dave to go sit down, but Dave felt rooted to the spot.

"Mr. Schuester I object to his presence in this club. I accepted it when it was mandatory, and was the only way for our football team to win, but not this time. Mr. Schue I beg you to kick this menace out." Rachel pointed at Dave as though no one would realise who she was referring to, then sat back down.

"Rachel give it a rest" Mr. Schuester said "Dave, please come in. You are very welcome in Glee Club" but Dave was still nervous.

"Mr. Schue, he is the reason Kurt isn't here anymore. He tortured Kurt for being gay, and now all of a sudden he's gay and we should take pity on him? I don't think so." Mercedes said, putting her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, come on Mr. Schue, he's done nothing but hate on the Glee club since we began. Why should we be courteous when he never did the same for us?" Artie added, shifting his glasses up his nose. Dave felt even sweatier. He wanted to turn around and leave forever, but he stood there, like an idiot. Not saying anything.

"Come on guys, let's be nice. Whatever happened to forgiveness? We of all people should understand how hard it is to be an outsider." Mr. Schuester said, walking over to stand by Dave.

"Yeah, but we only forgive people who deserve it. He doesn't" Mike Chang commented, putting his arm around his girlfriend. "On and off the field Karofsky has been a jerk."

"If he joins the club, I'm leaving" Mike Chang's girlfriend said. Dave tried to remember her name. Tessa, Tanya, something like that. A couple people nodded in agreement.

"Leave the guy alone, he's been through enough shit today without you all throwing him in a port-a-potty and knocking it over" Puckerman said, cracking his knuckles.

"I could swear that you called Karofsky, how did you put it, a pathetic, arrogant, douche canoe yesterday" Puckerman's girlfriend said, looking at him overtop her glasses.

"That was yesterday, today I'm telling you to leave him alone. End of story. Unless you want me to go all Chuck Norris and beat your asses with a roundhouse kick."

"I have to deal with Karofsky on the field; I would like one place I can get away from him." Sam said. Suddenly the room was filled with so many complaints about his presence, and counter arguments from Finn, Puckerman, and Mr. Schuester that it all sounded like one, big, loud, angry voice that pounded in Dave's ears. Dave squeezed his eyes closed, trying to block out everything. He felt sweat dripping down his face. His head spun with anxiety. He needed to get out of this room. He could feel himself swaying in spot.

"Dude, you okay?" He heard Finn whisper in his ear. Dave shook his head. He was not okay; he wanted to get out of here.

"I should just go, I shouldn't be in here" Dave said, trying to turn around and go for the door.

"You think you're too good for us Karofsky" Sam yelled, standing up on the risers. Dave stared at him. The whole classroom went quiet, waiting for his answer. He gulped and took a deep breath.

"No. I don't. I think you're too good for me. I was an idiot, and I don't deserve your pity. I called every guy in here gay at one point or another, and taunted all of you. Now I'm here, gay and made fun of. That's we like to call dramatic irony, and just desserts. So I'm just going to leave, and you can feel all warm inside for showing me whose boss. Okay?" He stared at everyone, and no one said anything. He started to leave when he heard someone say.

"So you're really gay?"

"Yup, gay as a Neil Patrick Harris on a unicorn" he replied, not bothering to turn around. He started to reach for the door handle when he heard another voice.

"Then why did you treat Kurt like that?"

"Listen, does it matter? I did, that's it. I did, and I'm sorry for it. I told Kurt I'm sorry. I'm telling you I'm sorry. Truly sorry. What I said, and did was stupid. Really stupid. I can't go back though, unless you guys have built a time machine under the drum set." He turned around and looked at all of them. "I am really sorry. I was a horrible, horrible person, that wasn't me. I don't know who that was, but it wasn't me. I'm sorry for the slushie facials, and the abuse, and the pain I have caused you. I'm especially sorry for making you lose a great friend like Kurt. I'm sorry." There was quiet. A couple people nodded and looked down at their shoes.

"Mr. Schue he still..." Rachel began.

"Dave, I think that was a really brave thing you said. I think everyone here APPERCIATES your apology, and I think EVERYONE here will give you a chance to prove yourself." Mr. Schuester said, staring at Rachel as he spoke. She sulked, her arms across her chest, but no one else argued.

"I have a song I'd like to sing for Karofsky" Finn said. Dave looked at Finn shocked, but Finn motioned for Dave to sit down. Dave limped over to a chair in the front row, far away from the other Glee kids.

Finn stood in the front of the room by the piano and took a deep breath. "I know you've been having a hard time lately Karofsky, and I know sometimes you feel as though you can't hang on any longer, but I want you to know I understand, and that I can be here for you, if you let me."

You've got a friend in me /You've got a friend in me /When the road looks rough ahead  
And you're miles and miles/From your nice warm bed /Just remember what your old pal said  
Boy, you've got a friend in me /You've got a friend in me /You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me /You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too  
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you /We stick together and we see it through  
You've got a friend in me /You've got a friend in me /Some other folks might be  
A little bit smarter than I am /Bigger and stronger too /Maybe  
But none of them will ever love you the way I do /It's me and you Boy  
And as the years go by /our friendship will never die /You're gonna see  
It's our destiny /You've got a friend in me /You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me

Dave smiled as Finn finished the song. Despite the mixed feelings in the room, he was feeling better already.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

_**(A.N: Wow this one is long...)**_

"I would like to make an announcement" Kurt said at the dinner table, looking at Dave with a big smile on his face.

"What is it son?" Mr. Hummel said, chewing on a big piece of fish. Dave chortled quietly, at the look Kurt shot Mr. Hummel.

"Dad, you don't need to show me your food, I have my own on my plate, thanks" he said sharply, Mr. Hummel laughed and swallowed his food.

"This better?" Mr. Hummel asked opening his mouth to show Kurt there was nothing left. Kurt rolled his eyes and Finn laughed loudly. Finn's mom chuckled and slapped Mr. Hummel's arm lightly. Dave forked up some more fish into his mouth; he hadn't had home cooking four days in a row since his mom died.

"As I was saying, I have an announcement. As you know I have been attending a very expensive school called Dalton Academy, and it has been a financial burden on the entire family" Dave felt like he should get up and leave, he didn't feel comfortable listening in on a family discussion as he was not part of the family. Mr. Hummel started to say something but Kurt shot him down. "Dad, it has been a financial burden, and I feel horrible about it. I also miss the crowded hallways, and stench of gym clothes that came with McKinley. As there is no longer a big threat at McKinley" Kurt avoided eye contact with Dave at this point "I think it is time for me to venture back home with Finn."

"Kurt honey, what about Blaine" Finn's mom asked, putting her hand on his.

"He understands that it isn't personal. We will still talk after school, and on weekends, and all that, but I really want to go back with my friends, and New Directions. If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to register and return as soon as possible." Kurt folded his hands in his lap and looked around the table.

"Well, I'll take you over to McKinley tomorrow and we will talk to your principal okay Kurt? If this is what you want. This is what you want right Kurt?" Mr. Hummel asked.

"Yes, this is what I want Dad. This is what I really want" Kurt looked over at Dave and smiled. "What do you think Karofsky? You think McKinley's ready for me back?" Everyone looked at Dave, and Dave gulped, and looked Kurt in the eyes.

"There has definitely been a lack of fabulous in the school without you" Dave said. Kurt laughed a laugh that lit up his whole face. He put his hands back on the table and picked up his glass.

"To going back to first love's" Kurt laughed, holding his glass out with the toast "And to returning to old friends" everyone clinked glasses and drank. Dave couldn't believe Kurt was coming back. He felt a happiness spread through his body. He wasn't really sure why though, he was just happy that he was coming back.

"To not having to pay tuition anymore" Mr. Hummel joked.

"To no more bullying" Dave added.

"To no more toasts" Finn said, Kurt threw a bread bun at him. "What, it felt like a late night movie in here with all these toasts going on." Finn was right, and Dave found it hilarious. It felt good to laugh for once, for there to be no drama and no anger, just laughter and enjoyment. Dave finished off his dinner and drank the last of his soda.

"This was great Ms. Hummel, thank you for the meal" Dave said, he loved the cooking in the Hummel-Hudson household. It was much better than the stuff out of the boxes.

"Oh don't thank me Dave, it was Kurt's work tonight" Finn's mom smiled at Kurt and Kurt beamed from the praise. Dave's face must have expressed his slight shock because Kurt said.

"What? Didn't think I could cook well Karofsky? Or are you surprised I'm so talented in so many different areas" Kurt joked.

"A little of both" Dave admitted. Kurt beamed brighter, the smile he had seen Kurt wear when he was with Blaine. The kind that seemed too big for his tiny face. Kurt continued eating his meal, the smiled not leaving his face. Dave stared at his empty plate, unsure of where else to stare.

"I better call Mercedes, Tina, and Rachel" Kurt said, leaving a lot of food left on his plate. "They will freak out when I tell them the news." Kurt pushed back his chair and skipped gracefully from the table.

"I'm sure by tonight the entire town will know that Kurt is going back" Mr. Hummel laughed, shaking his head lovingly. Dave thought of his own father, and tried to imagine him laughing lovingly, or making jokes about his eccentricities, but he couldn't. His dad wasn't a joker, his dad wasn't a dad. Mr. Hummel was a dad. He was glad Kurt had a dad like Mr. Hummel, he deserved it.

"Hey Kurt, get back here!" Finn yelled, leaning back in his chair. Kurt popped his head into the room, his hand against the phone mouth piece.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear I got Karofsky to join Glee club?" Finn said in a superior voice. Kurt's eyes widened.

"No way! Hold on" Kurt put the phone back against his mouth "Hey Tina, is it true Karofsky is in...What? What? No way! No way! You're kidding? Yeah? Okay hold on" Kurt covered the mouth piece again "How did you manage that?"

"Hey, I never said I was joining Glee, you said I was there until Mr. Hummel picked us up" Dave said quickly. He never agreed to join Glee; he had never said anything about joining. It was just a protection thing so he didn't get beaten up while he was waiting for Finn. If he joined Glee that meant he had to sing, and hang around people who hated him, and the other football guys, he would never hear the end of it. He was already going to be killed for being gay, joining Glee would mean being slowly tortured to death.

"Come on, you loved Glee!" Finn said, looking as though someone had slapped him. "You love Glee and you know it. Why don't you just admit it and join already."

Dave didn't want to admit it, but it wasn't only the treat of slow and painful death, and the fear of the Glee kids' scorn that stopped him from joining. He had heard the Glee kids perform. He had heard Finn, Rachel, and Puck sing. He had never sung in front of people, by himself. Sure, Mr. Schuester had heard him sing, but he doubted Mr. Schuester would have said he sucked, even if he had. Even if he wasn't bad, he didn't think he could be as good as Finn or Puck or anyone for that matter. It made him nervous. At least on the field, he had a position, and all that mattered was he was better than the other guy, on the other team. With singing, it didn't matter if you backed someone else well, and he couldn't use his strength. He couldn't hide behind his most useful tools; power, and intimidation. He had to have confidence, and style, none of which he had.

"I don't sing" Dave mumbled, playing with his fork.

"No, he says he isn't joining Glee club, says he doesn't sing, well I think he should join. He's not that bad, no trust me. Would I lie to you? Would I say that if I didn't mean it? Yeah, hold on. Karofsky, Tina says that as I have vouched for you, she will stand you in Glee club. You can totally join." Dave pushed back his chair, grabbed his crutches, and walked out of the dining room.

"I don't want to join Glee club" he said roughly. He went and sat on the couch, and pulled out his math book. He needed to focus on something other than the blood pulsating in his brain.

"I'll call you back Tina, don't call Mercedes or Rachel yet. If you spill my news I will sneak into your wardrobe, take all your clothes, and dye them all a hideous shade of pink. Okay talk to you in a bit" he heard Kurt say. Dave knew what was going to happen next. He felt the couch creak slightly as Kurt sat beside him. "Okay Liza, what's up?"

"Nothing is up, why do you ask?" Dave said fast, turning from his math book, to Kurt, to his math book again so quickly it made his head spin. He looked at question one, -4x2-2x+1, how many roots were there?

"Do you really think Glee is 'gay'?" Kurt asked. Dave concentrated harder on the math problem. He wrote b2-4ac, than substituted the numbers.

"No" Dave answered. So the result was 4-16, which equalled -12.

"So why don't you want to join Glee?" Kurt asked. Dave rubbed his head, and closed his eyes. Dave thought that he could do with a beer. It was in times like this he use to grab one, but he doubted there was any way to do that now, and anyway he had quit that.

He looked at the math equation again. That meant there were no real roots. He wrote the answer down. For some reason the sentence made him angry. Why were there no roots? Why couldn't there be roots? It frustrated him that the parabola didn't hit the x-axis. "I just don't" he spat out. Then looked at question two, he didn't have to do the equation to know it didn't have any real roots either.

"If that was an essay, and I was your teacher, you would get an F, try again." Kurt said, closing Dave's book.

"What do you want? I'm trying to catch up on the homework I missed." Dave gestured to his book. "I can't fall behind."

"I want you to tell me why you don't want to join Glee club. Is it because of the members? They'll warm up after they get to know you, and I come back."

"I just don't want to join" Dave insisted, reaching for his book. Kurt picked it up, and dropped it on his side of the couch.

"Is it because of the ignoramuses at school, you get use to them you know. You learn to ignore them eventually, unless they're you." Kurt meant it as a joke, Dave knew that, but it still hit him. He wondered if Kurt would ever stop thinking of him as the guy who caused him to leave his friends.

"I just don't want to join" Dave said again.

"What is it?"

"Why does it matter why I don't want to join? Will it change it? Will it make you happy?" Dave asked.

"Yes." Kurt said. Dave's eyes widened. He was hoping Kurt would say no. He didn't really want to explain to Kurt how he felt about himself.

"I want to know too" he heard Finn say, coming into the room and sitting on a rocking chair. Dave fiddled with his hands; he looked around the room looking for an escape. He knew he could make something up, but he hated lying all the time. He would rather just avoid the truth than outright lie. "We aren't going to judge you man."

"I'm not right for Glee" he said flatly. He could feel sweat on his back. He looked at his hands. He never realised how many lines he had on his hands. It was like his hands were old.

"What do you mean?" Finn asked.

"I'm not talented; I'm not this hot, smooth, talented singer guy. I can't dance, I can't play an instrument, I definitely can't entertain. I'll just bring you guys down. I don't have anything to offer, I don't have any skills that I can play. So I don't want to join, okay?" Dave held out his hand for his math book, but Kurt didn't give it to him.

"Why don't you think you're talented?" Kurt asked, shock on his face.

"I'm extraordinarily ordinary remember?" Dave said, reminding Kurt of what he had said a long time ago.

"I was just angry when I said that...you're not..." for once Kurt was at a loss for word. Finn stepped in.

"You remember the football game? Thriller? You did great, I mean at dancing at least." Dave shook his head. He had, had a great time, but he couldn't help imaging himself, jiggling to the music with two left feet.

"I'll admit, I may be a talented right guard but other than that..." Dave felt awkward talking about how he felt about himself.

"How can we make you...?" Kurt started to say.

"You can't." Dave shrugged. They couldn't make him see himself in any other way, because there wasn't any other way.

"You're joining Glee" Finn said flatly. "I'm not going to defend you if you don't join Glee club. I hope you have a song ready to sing." Finn got up, and walked away. Dave knew he had no chance at McKinley without Finn's help. He had no choices.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

_**(A.N: I've been waiting to use my favourite song in this fan fiction for ages.)**_

"Fag" Dave heard as he was pushed into the lockers. His crutches fell to the floor; he grabbed his leg in pain. Taking a deep breath he collected himself and grabbed his crutches. Lifting himself with difficulty from the floor.

"Sorry dude" Finn said, looking over at his for now girlfriend Quinn who had been chatting him up. Dave shrugged; he didn't expect Finn to be with him every second of every day. He gritted his teeth against the pain shooting up his leg.

There had been good news and bad news when Dave had arrived at school. The good news; everyone had stopped talking about his attempted suicide. The bad news; they were now talking about him being gay. Somehow the latter was much worse than the former. Before they had just taunted him, now they were out for blood, blood he couldn't afford to give them.

"Hey Davinia! Could I borrow your lip gloss, I left mine at home" some freshman called out, followed by hoots and whistles.

"Hey, you want to screw me Karofsky?" Scott Cooper yelled, grabbing at his privates. "I guess the Glee club really did turn Karofsky gay!" Scott held up his stick and slammed it at Dave's leg before Finn could react. Dave felt a snap and pain shot through every part of his body. Scott raised his stick to hit him again but Finn grabbed it in his hands, and punched Scott in the stomach.

"You okay Karofsky?" Finn asked, looking at him with worry. Dave nodded, trying to get attention off himself. His leg burned and prickled and stung all at once. He wanted to sit down. He felt his eyes stinging as well but refused to let tears come. Bracing himself he leaned heavily on his crutches.

"I hope you don't plan on coming back to the hockey team" Scott said in a gasping breath. "You're not welcome back. I don't care if you're one of the best. I don't want you peaking at me in the showers." Scott scurried away, holding his stomach.

"He's probably only gay because no girl would go out with him" said a beautiful blonde sophomore to a cute brunette.

"What guy would want to go out with him?" Asked the brunette, the two laughed and gave Dave a condescending look. Dave looked away, down the hall he saw Azimio.

"Be right back" he murmured to Finn, walking in the direction of Azimio. Finn called him back, but Dave ignored him. He had to talk to Az, he just had to. "Az! Hey Az!" Dave called out, standing in front of him. Azimio ignored him, looking around. "Hey man, I need to talk to you."

"Go away" Azimio hissed "Get away from me."

"I need to talk to you" Dave reiterated.

"I can't be seen talking to a faggot, people will think I'm a homo too" Azimio said, looking around again, acting like he wasn't really talking to him.

"You're my best friend" Dave said, struggling to find the words he wanted. "We've been best friends forever man."

"That was before you decided to be a queer. That's before you decided to go crazy. I can't be friends with you, I don't know you" Azimio said.

"I'm the same guy" Dave urged, his voice breaking. "I am the same dude I always was."

"My best friend didn't like other dudes, my best friend hated homos, just like me. David Karofsky was a guy's guy, a cool bro; I don't know who you are."

"Az, please, come on, I..." Azimio didn't let him finish. Instead he balled his hands into fist and slammed one into his stomach, than the other.

"You just don't get it do you? You just don't get it?" Azimio screamed, running off.

"Hey Zee, you just break up with your boyfriend?" Michael Carins yelled out. Dave gasped for breath. He didn't fall over though, the crutches saved him. He could feel Finn's hand on his shoulder.

"Let's go over to the Glee room" Finn whispered in his ear. Dave shook his head. He thought it was the worst idea to go to the Glee room right after being beaten up. It would be like shouting to the world that he was a fairy. He wasn't a fairy. He was gay, but not a fairy. "Come on" Finn said again, helping him walk. Dave sighed and gave up the fight. He was too tired to care anymore.

"Hey Karofsky! Suck my balls!" some kid screamed. Dave didn't look up. He kept his eyes on his feet as he walked into the Glee room.

Sitting down at the furthest seat to the right in the front row Dave took deep breaths. Azimio was a strong guy, that was one of the reasons Dave liked him. Now having that power used against him, he didn't like that strength so much. Finn kept his hand on Dave's shoulder. "It's okay man" he said. "It's okay, don't worry about them its okay" Finn looked at Dave's leg. "Did he screw it up? Scott?" Dave shook his head. It was painful as hell, but he didn't think there was too much damage.

"Its fine" Dave answered gruffly. It wasn't really the pain that bothered him anyway. It was the comments that hurt worse than the beatings. He could take a punch, but no matter how many times he was insulted in his life, it never got any easier.

"Are you sure?" Finn said, looking anxious. "We should have gone to the nurse shouldn't we?"

"It's fine, I just needed to sit down for a second. It's fine" Dave wanted Finn to stop talking for a second too, but he was sure that wasn't going to happen. Other Glee kids filed into the room, stealing glances at him as they sat down.

"Hey Karofsky, are you okay?"Asked Tina. Dave knew she was only asking because Kurt had said they were cool. Dave nodded, not looking into her eyes.

"That Scott Cooper is a total tool; I swear I would have reamed his ass if I were you. Would have shown him which sport was better after all" Puck ranted. Dave was sure that Puck would have done just that. "Why didn't you use one of your crutches to bash his head open?" Puck asked, sitting behind Dave.

"I don't see the point" Dave answered. Before he would have done exactly what Puck had said. Now he no longer had the energy. He felt worn down, and dead. All the thoughts in his head, all of the feelings just brought him down. All the comments on his sexuality, his mentality, his appearance just brought him down. He no longer cared to fight back. He deserved it, and he was too weak to stop it anyway.

"What do you mean 'you don't see the point'?" Finn said, using air quotations.

"I would have done the same thing if I were them; they deserve their shot at me. I'm not better. It's like you guys all said, why should I get pity when I did the same thing? I shouldn't. So I'm not going to fight it." Dave shrugged his shoulders, it hurt to shrug but it came too naturally to him to stop.

"Things shouldn't be an eye for an eye Karofsky" Mercedes said, looking at him for once without disgust.

"Why, that's what you thought yesterday? Isn't it? You thought because I was a heartless bully that it was cool right? So is it only wrong when I say it?" He replied fast, she just looked at him.

"Dude, you really think that way?" Said Sam, his huge lips puckered in confusion.

"Yeah. I do." Dave admitted. They all looked at him funny. Like he was a bomb, and his timer was on 00:01.

"Hey guys" Mr. Schuester said all smiles. "So Finn told me that today we should be expecting a solo from our newest member of Glee club, Mr. David Karofsky" Mr. Schuester clapped, but no one joined him. "Come on guys, let's show a little..."

"Mr. Schue, I think maybe we should do this..." Finn started, but Dave cut him off.

"No, I'm ready" Dave had a song in mind. Something he wanted to tell Finn, and Mr. Schuester, and Mr. Hummel, and most of all, to Kurt. Mr. Schuester clapped as he limped to the front of the room. He heard other kids start clapping. His heart pounded in his chest. His inner voice yelled at him to sit back down, to stop this madness. He felt his forehead fill with sweat, as well as his back. His hands shook, his legs shook, his whole body shook. He had never been so nervous in his life. He could feel his face drain of all colour. His throat felt as though it was coated with sand and dirt. He didn't want to do this, he couldn't do this, but his legs wouldn't take him back. He was doing this. "Um, this is for everyone who has tried to help me through all this shit. Sorry Mr. Schuester, and I just want to tell them that...I appreciate what they are doing, and I'm sorry. Also...no homo."

Then he started singing, he couldn't hear himself, he couldn't tell how he was doing, he could feel himself shaking hard, he closed his eyes, and just sang.

There's nothing I could say to make you try to feel okay /And nothing you could do to stop me feeling the way I do /And if the chance should happen that I never see you again,  
Just remember that I'll always love you /I'd be a better person on the other side I'm sure.  
You'd find a way to help yourself/ And find another door /To shrug off minor incidents,  
And make us both feel proud. /I'd just wish I could be there to see you through.  
You always were the one to make us stand out in a crowd /Though every once upon a while your head was in a cloud /There's nothing you could never do to ever let me down /And remember that I'll always love you.

When he was done he could hear loud cheering, but he couldn't hear much else. Inside he could just see Kurt. In his mind he saw Kurt nodding. He thought about the last line he sang. He thought about Kurt. He shook away any feelings of connection between the two thoughts.

"Did I do okay?" All he heard was a cheer in response. That was good enough for him.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

"Maybe I shouldn't miss anymore school" Dave said, looked through his new clothes. He put a light blue shirt up against his chest; it had a black dragon on the front. Dave had thought it looked good on him, but now he wasn't so sure. He could hear his father's voice in his ear saying 'David, what are you wearing that shirt for. It is extremely immature. No one will take you seriously in that shirt. Take it off and put on something that coincides with your age.' Dave looked down at his new clothes. Would his dad approve of any of it?

"This is important" Kurt said beside him, filing his nails with a brightly coloured file. Dave bit his lip. If his reaction to his Uncle was any indication, he wouldn't be able to speak a word to his father.

His father was on bail right now, awaiting the trail that would take place sometime this year. Dave was sure that if his dad did get charged with child neglect he wouldn't stay in jail long, if he got jail time at all. His dad was cunning, and a brilliant lawyer. The police had told his dad to stay away from him (so they told him), but had asked if he wanted to speak to his father, before the trial, under supervision. Dave did, at least he thought he did. He thought maybe, if he spoke to his father it would make him feel better. Then again, it might make him feel much worse. He just wanted answers, but the idea of facing his father terrified me.

His Uncle was muscle, his Uncle was words, his Uncle was fear, his dad was his dad. He was the only parent he had left, and now he was losing him. He was the one that Dave strived to be perfect for. Now here he was, not a hockey star, not a football star, beat up, ugly, chubby, and gay. Despite how hurt his dad made him, he couldn't hate him. Not fully. He couldn't stop wanting his father to love him. Wanting his father to accept him. Wanting his father to put his arm around him and take him home, to a place that for once would be a real home.

"I don't know if I can do this" Dave said, his hands fingering the green polo that they had gotten at the GAP. Would his dad think this looked gay, or that he looked gay in it? Dave shook his head in disgust. It didn't matter what he wore, he would look gay no matter what, because he was gay. He could wear ancient Roman armour and still look gay. Yet even so, he worried about looking gay. It still seemed to matter to him.

"You'll be fine" Kurt said in a monotone voice. That bothered Dave. Kurt hadn't used a monotone voice since he had arrived at the Hummel-Hudson house. His voice was always full of emotion. Dave looked at Kurt hard.

"Are you okay?" Dave asked, pulling out another shirt to look at. Kurt shrugged and let out a soft sigh, shifting himself on the couch. "What's up?"

"Don't worry about me" Kurt smiled weakly, brushing his bangs back with the tips of his fingers. "You just worry about seeing your dad in an hour. Let me see your clothes" Kurt held out his hand, but Dave wasn't sure if he should give them to him. He was still concerned about what was bothering Kurt. However, he didn't want to push Kurt. Giving in he gave him his bag of clothes.

"Let's see, you don't want to look too formal or like you're trying too hard" Kurt said, putting a couple shirts into a pile. "You don't want a reason for your dad to nitpick either, so nothing too causal" Kurt put more shirts into the pile. At the end Kurt held up a plain, light blue, long sleeved shirt and black pants. Dave looked at them critically. He couldn't see anything wrong with them. He smiled weakly at Kurt and held out his hand to take them.

He got up and began shuffling towards the bathroom on his crutches, so he could put his clothes on. "You can just change here" said Kurt. Dave blushed and shook his head. "I'll close my eyes" Kurt said, rolling his eyes. Dave realised too late what he had said, and how Kurt had taken it. Kurt thought Dave didn't want to change in front of him because he was gay.

"It's nothing against you; really, I just hate getting changed in front of people, even in the locker room." Kurt looked at him, not believing a word he said, it was true though. Sometimes he felt so self conscience that he waited until the guys were finished changing before he did (though usually he just bucked up and did what he had to do). Kurt looked so unconvinced and annoyed that Dave sighed and said "Alright, close your eyes though." Kurt covered his eyes with his hands dramatically. Dave gulped, feeling a little more comfortable. Slowly and carefully he peeled his jeans off over his cast. He looked at his legs, then at Kurt, making sure he wasn't looking. Next he took off his shirt, his bare chest and stomach making him cringe. He made a mental note that he wanted (no needed) to work out as soon as possible.

As he reached for the black pants the doorbell rang. Cursing, Dave tried to stuff his pants on quickly, as Kurt unshielded his eyes and ran for the door. Dave cursed more as the pants tangled around his cast. He heard Kurt greet someone, and heard footsteps coming towards him. Dave's face burned bright red as Kurt and Blaine walked into the living room. Dave almost cried.

"Why is he...?" Blaine started, but Kurt heard him mumble 'shut up' and 'close your eyes' but it was too late. They had seen him pretty much naked. Dave wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Calming down slightly he pulled his pants up, and pulled on his shirt, ignoring the pain in his ribs. His voice shook as he told the guys he was finished changing (reminding himself of a little kid). Dave looked from Blaine in his Dalton uniform, to Kurt, suddenly a thought struck him. He knew why he wasn't in school, but he hadn't even wondered why Kurt wasn't.

"Hey how come you're here?" Dave said to Kurt, clearing his throat of its shakiness, though he was still red with blush. He couldn't look either of them in the eye.

"Well I live here" Kurt said nonchalantly.

"I mean, shouldn't you...?"

"Yesterday was my last day at Dalton. Tomorrow is my first day back at McKinley. Right now I'm in school purgatory. Blaine decided to skip and take me out on a farewell to seeing each other almost all the time date" Kurt said, though something still sounded off with Kurt. If Dave wasn't still embarrassed, he would have looked him in the eyes.

"Oh, well have fun" Dave said, wishing he could go with them rather than do what he had to do. Kurt bent his head down slightly to catch Dave's eye. Dave flushed and blinked.

"I'll meet you outside okay?" Kurt said, turning to Blaine for a moment, grabbing his hand and squeezing it lightly. Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt's cheek. Kurt smiled a small smile, and let go of Blaine's hand. Blaine waved goodbye to Dave and left. Kurt lifted his hand and put it near Dave's shoulder. His hand lingered in the air, looming over it like the sword of Damocles over his proverbial head. Finally, Kurt brought his hand back, changing his mind, and fixed his bangs instead. "Turn around slowly" he said, putting his hand on his hip. Awkwardly, Dave moved in a circular shape. Kurt nodded his hand now on his chin and mouth. "You'll be fine Karofsky" Kurt said, grinning slightly. With that, Kurt grabbed his satchel and skipped towards the door.

Dave smiled to himself as he looked himself over, waiting for Mr. Hummel to come pick him up. His father might not approve of him. His father might not think he was anything, but Kurt did, and that was something.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

_**(A.N: Ugh, why are pianists so hard to find. I have to say I might be dead after the 10**__**th**__**, just saying you may never hear from me again. I need to do a performance, but I don't have a pianist which I need to have, and I'm screwed. Also, I'm on cloud nine right now, even with my fear of failing music.)**_

His father sat in an interrogation room of the police station looking tired and worried. A twinge of sympathy stirred within him. His father looked so downtrodden and sad, but Dave knew him too well to believe his act fully. His father had always been good at pretending to be a caring and loving father. Dave turned to Mr. Hummel, gauging his reaction to his father. Mr. Hummel glared at Paul Karofsky through the two way mirror, it gave Dave some hope.

"I want to go in with you" Mr. Hummel said, still glaring at his father. "I'm going in with you. I don't trust him." Dave wasn't sure how to feel about Mr. Hummel coming in with him, but the look that Mr. Hummel gave his Uncle said that it didn't matter how he felt about it.

The police officers nodded to the two of them, and opened the door for them. There was only one extra chair in there but when the officer offered to get another one for Mr. Hummel he shook his head, deciding to lean against the wall. Dave took the chair; he could feel his hands shaking, as he put his crutches to the side. Dave tried to look his father in the eyes, but whenever his eyes would reach his lashes they would suddenly seen something on the table that seemed so much more interesting.

"Well David? How are you son?" his father said in what sounded like a sorrowful voice.

"I'm doing fine now thanks" Dave said quietly, his hands shaking in his lap.

"I was so worried about you son. I had no idea all this was going on son. Look at you...I" his dad suppressed a sob. Dave looked up at his father's eyes for a second, and saw him wipe away invisible tears. "I must be the worst father alive. I'm so sorry David. I never meant to hurt you, I was supposed to protect you from harm, and what did I do? I worked so hard I never even noticed what Jake was doing. I am so sorry David. Please forgive me." Dave couldn't help but want to give his dad a hug. Maybe his dad really did feel bad. Maybe it was all some big mistake. "I want to bring you home David. I want this all to be over so you and I can build a proper relationship. Once we get this...confusion all cleared up..."

"What confusion?" Dave said quietly.

"This confusion about your feelings, as soon as we clear that up we can go back to..."

"Feelings about what? What confusion?" Dave asked his voice breaking. The only thing he was confused about right now was what his father was talking about.

"Your...sexuality" his dad whispered the word sexuality as though it was a sin to even say it. He looked over at Mr. Hummel quickly, then turned back to Dave. Dave finally looked in his eyes. There he saw the disgust that he felt for his son.

"I'm not confused. I'm not confused at all dad, I'm gay." It was like coming out all over. His father stared at him blankly. Not seeing him. He shook his head, as though shaking away what Dave had said.

"You don't understand what that means David. You aren't gay. If anyone knows that I do. You were just angry, and upset, and confused. That whole mistake with the painkillers made you confused, that's why you think this. David I know you, you are my son. You're not gay." Dave felt his face burn. Why couldn't his dad get it through his head? Everyone else seemed to get it, even if they hated him for it.

"No I'm not confused. I tried to kill myself because I was gay, not the other way around" his father straightened his back at the mention of killing himself.

"You didn't try to kill yourself David; you made a mistake about how many pills you were taking. You had a bad headache after working out, practicing for football. You misjudged how many you had in your hand..."

"No! No I came home drunk off my ass, went up stairs, broke a mirror, and tried to kill myself. I TRIED TO..."

"NO YOU DIDN'T DAVID!" His father screamed, standing up, but he wasn't looking at Dave. He was looking at Mr. Hummel. Dave understood now. He was still trying to make the family look good. There was no way to make suicide look good. No way to make gay look good. No way to make drunk look good. Being beaten by a crazy Uncle you can make seem like it isn't really your fault. Neglect you can cover with excuses of being a workaholic, but not the other things. Dave felt so angry, for a second, if only a brief second, he had thought that his father really loved him.

"I tried to kill myself because I hate myself, I hate myself dad. You make me hate myself. I can never be who I am and be a perfect son can I? I can never please you can I?" Dave cried out, his emotions crackling the words. His dad sat back down and moved his eyes back to Dave.

"Excuse me Mr. Hummel, but may I have a moment alone with my son." He looked over at Mr. Hummel with such dignity, and such power that Dave was sure Mr. Hummel would leave him alone with him. Mr. Hummel however walked over to Dave and put his hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not leaving Dave alone with you. If you have something to say, you can say it in front of me." He squeezed Dave's shoulder protectively.

"He is my son, I do not need to go through you" his dad said in a patient voice, but it held a bit of an edge to it.

"You lost the privilege to be alone with him when you kicked him out, and left him on the side of the road to die" Mr. Hummel said, his voice loud in Dave's ear.

"I did not kick him out, he left." His father said calmly, his hands in his lap.

"YOU KICKED ME OUT" Dave screamed. "You told me to get out!" Dave couldn't believe his father could lie so easily.

"David, you are just confused. You're not well David. Are you sure you did not receive a concussion when you fell down the stairs?" He said, looking concerned. Dave couldn't handle this.

"Why can't you be honest for once in your life? For once in your life why can't you just tell the truth? Why can't you just tell the truth, please?"

"David, what's wrong?" His father said his voice ripe with false emotion. Dave looked over at his father, the father he loved so much.

"Tell me the truth; did you know Uncle Jake has been beating me since I was nine? Did you?" Dave needed answers; he needed to be able to walk away with truth. His father looked at him with all look of shock on his face, but Dave knew this was fake too.

"David, why didn't you..."

"Tell me the truth! Don't lie for once. Tell me, did you know" He looked fiercely at his father. His father stared back at him, their eyes locked on each other. Finally Paul Karofsky cleared his throat.

"I was not aware that Jake Karofsky was hurting you to the extent that..."

"So you knew" Dave said bitterly, wiping away all the bullshit of the statement. Just like a lawyer Dave though, always trying to be slick. "Why didn't you love me?" Dave said it had been the question he cared about most. "Why didn't you ever care about me? Why wasn't I ever good enough for you? Why couldn't you accept me?" Dave waited, not daring to take a breath. He forgot Mr. Hummel was in the room. For the moment it was only his father and him.

"I did the best I could David, I never understood why you could never do the same. If only you tried harder David. You could have been so much better." Was all his father said. Dave's heard dropped. He didn't answer any of his questions, yet at the same time, he answered all of them perfectly.

"Is it always my fault?" Dave said, voicing his own insecurities.

"Well it usually is, isn't it?" His father replied. Dave felt his throat burn with tears. "Don't cry David, what did I tell you about crying." He remembered what his father had told him when he was ten. He had said crying was a show of weakness, and weakness would be taken advantage of.

"I'm not crying" Dave said sniffling, trying to stop himself, to put up his wall.

"I thought you were stronger than this David" his father said, disappointment in his voice.

"I'm sorry" Dave replied, his head down in shame, the feelings of anger leaving him.

"Dave don't apologise to this bastard! Your son has been stronger than any grown man I know. He has been through hell and here he is, still standing. You make me sick, you fake, pathetic, ignorant, selfish son of a bitch. You're worse than your brother. At least he has the balls to admit he did something cowardly. You just hide behind words and pretend. I hope they don't send you to jail. I hope they let you go so I can beat the crap out of you. You don't deserve to be a father. You don't deserve to stand here. You don't deserve Dave's love. You sick bastard" Mr. Hummel raised his fist to punch Paul in the face; instead he slammed his fist into the table and glared at his father. "Whatever, it's your loss. Hope you enjoy the company of your dumbass brother, because that's all you're going to have. Come on Dave" Mr. Hummel said, walking towards the door, but Dave wasn't ready yet.

"Please give me a moment alone with my dad, please?" Dave said, looking imploringly at Mr. Hummel. Mr. Hummel nodded, to upset to speak, and Dave turned to his dad.

"What do you want David?" his father said exasperated. "Do you know how much trouble you have caused? I hope you know how frustrating this all is."

"Is that really all you care about?" Dave asked, still hoping for another answer.

"What else is there?" His father said, looked completely dumbfounded by the question.

"Me, there's me."

"Well yes, there is that." Paul said disregarding the idea. "Who do you think is going to pay for your University David? If you go through with this, I certainly will not. You definitely aren't getting a scholarship now. What are you going to do then?" the anger returned.

"Who cares about University? What about the fact that you may never see me again."

"If you would just try harder David, if you would stop this nonsense and come back to your senses." Dave shook his head.

"I'm gay, I'm gay and nothing you say will change that. You can pressure me into working out every day, studying like crazy. You can pressure me into being a doormat, but I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not. I can't be straight; I tried that and nearly died because of it. I'm gay. You can't talk me out of it, I just am. I guess I'll never be the perfect son."

"I guess not."

"Well I guess we make the perfect pair then, cause you'll never be the perfect father" Dave grabbed his crutches and lifted himself up. "Goodbye Dad."

"Goodbye David. If you ever decide to change your ways, I'll be here." Dave opened the door and slammed it as he walked towards Mr. Hummel.

"Dave I'm sorry" Mr. Hummel said, putting his arm around him, but for the first time in since all this conflict started he didn't cry. He was done crying for the man who didn't give a shit about him. Suddenly he couldn't care anymore. There was nothing more he could do to him. His hold was gone, and though Dave still didn't feel good about himself, he no longer felt any need to please his father. His father was history.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

_**(A.N: The male species sure knows how to abate one's spirit –no offense male species that read my FF, it's not against you- Gah, and yeah I know women do it too, but women aren't doing it to me right now, therefore I'm all cool with them bro. Ha, the powers of this strange organ. Also if you wish to see me make a fool of myself, **__**.com/watch?v=_Fu7aKzRcTw&feature=channel_video_title**__**) **_

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Kurt asked, looking at the Karofsky house with apprehension. Dave nodded, looking towards the house with his own feeling of fright. This would be the last time he would ever be in this house. It was both electrifyingly exciting, and maddeningly horrifying at the same time. He had lived in this house since he was born, his mom had lived here, this was the place he had taken his first steps, played his first game of football, received his first beating.

They had come to get whatever possessions he wished to take from the house. He was no longer going to be staying here He would never have to sneak in, and pretend he wasn't there so he could avoid a pounding. No more worries about what his father would say if he got a 98 on a quiz instead of perfect. It was a weird feeling for Dave, not to have to prove himself to anyone.

Kurt helped him up the steps to the front door. Dave could see the last time he was here clearly in his mind. The running, the pain, the quick beats of his heart as he jumped into his car, it was all so clear to him. The drive way no longer held his car. Dave was unsure of what had been done with it, but it was no longer in the drive way. "Are we going to go in" Kurt said, his voice pushing him to open the door. Slowly he allowed himself to turn the handle. He took a deep breath in, and walked inside.

The house looked unchanged, as though he had never left. Dave laughed; he realized it was the other way around. The house looked unchanged, as though he had never lived here in the first place. There was no sign that he ever lived there, other than a pair of his shoes near the front door. Dave stood in the main hall, memories flooding into his brain. Of fights he had had in this very stop. "Maybe we should head up to your room" Kurt said, keeping him on track. Dave nodded and with Kurt's help began talking the stairs up to his bedroom.

His room was definitely different. Clothes were strewn across the floor. Books were scattered around. Papers and pencils were thrown among pairs of underwear. Dave felt his face heat up. He had always been neat and organized, and the only time his room was a mess Kurt had to be there. Dave blushed fiercely and attempted to bend down to try and clean. This resulted, however, in him falling on his face. "Are you okay Karofsky?" Dave mumbled something about being fine, but couldn't seem to get up. "Let me help you" Kurt said, Dave could feel Kurt's arms around his left arm.

"No, no, no it's okay. I can get myself up" Dave mumbled into the carpet. He could taste the dust that had built up there.

"Don't be an ignoramus Karofsky, there is no way you can get by yourself with that cast on" Kurt said, beginning to tug at Dave's arm. Dave fought him, slipping his arm out of Kurt's grasp.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself" Dave said, turning himself onto his back painfully, then sitting up. His head felt woozy from the pain in his ribs. Kurt sighed, and grabbed Dave's left arm again, and put it around his shoulders, lifting him up slowly, allowing him to stand on his other leg, and slip his crutches back under his arms. "Are you okay?" Dave asked, wondering how Kurt could lift him by himself, and whether he had suffered a hernia.

"You have infuriatingly low self esteem, do you know that?" Kurt said, Dave looked at Kurt, confused. "You're not that big Dave; you're a football player not a super model. You're supposed to be a little bigger than the average man, otherwise you couldn't brutally slam other players into the ground like insects, right?" Dave stared blankly at Kurt. "Hello?"

"You called me Dave" he said, shaking his head slightly. Kurt looked puzzled. He put his hand on his hip, and tilted his head slightly.

"That is your name is it not?" Kurt said with attitude.

"You've never called me Dave before, that's all" Dave said quietly. Kurt just shrugged nonchalantly, and picked up his backpack and put it on his bed.

"Don't worry about cleaning up; let's just get anything you need. Don't bother with most of your old clothes, it's probably better that they stay here. Grab underwear though, and you'll probably want your sports equipment. Your textbooks are a must and anything else that is important to you" Kurt stared at Dave pointedly. "Well?" Dave walked over to his closet and started to look through it. There wasn't much left in there (most of it was all over the floor). Despite the fact that his father made good money, Dave had never had that much stuff. He didn't really want it. He could never have what he liked anyway without either his father or his Uncle bugging him about it. He took a couple that he liked, and carefully put his hockey and football equipment on the bed. He had been lucky; his Uncle hadn't destroyed his sports stuff. That would have been expensive to replace.

"I don't know if I'm going to need it though" Dave thought out loud, looking at his hockey jersey.

"They'll get over" Kurt said, packing the clothes he had picked out into the backpack "really this shirt?" Kurt said, holding up an orange Hawaiian shirt with little palm trees all over it.

"How do you know they'll get over it?" Dave said, putting some notebooks and some paperbacks on the bed.

"You did didn't you?" Kurt said, looking up at him briefly, then turning back to pack. Dave thought about that while he went to the bathroom to see if he still had a bottle of aftershave he really liked.

Walking into the bathroom was creepy. He looked around, taking every little thing in even though there was nothing to see. This was the place that a couple weeks ago he had tried to take his own life. This had been the spot where he had given up on everything. He could still remember all the feelings that had brought him to that point. He could still remember that realization that he was gay, and the horrible feelings that had rushed through him. He could still remember the headache, and the hatred that had pierced him so strong. Dave slowly lowered himself onto the side of the tub.

"Dave! Where did you go? We should be getting out of here soon before your father comes..." Kurt walked into the bathroom and gave Dave a quizzical look. "What's wrong?" Kurt said, sitting next to him.

"This was where it all happened" Dave said, not bothering to try and convince Kurt nothing was wrong. "This is where I figured everything out."

"Please do not tell me you figured out you were a queen on the thro..." Dave laughed a little and shook his head. "What did you do?"

"I smashed the mirror and took a whole bunch of painkillers" Dave said. "I was drunk as hell." He added, not sure why.

"We don't need to talk about this now Dave. Right now we need to get you home." Dave smiled a small smile and propped himself up on his crutches. Kurt was right, he needed to cut the final puppet string, and allow himself to be a real boy.

Dave and Kurt stood outside the house for a moment before they left. Kurt held some of the belongings that Dave had thought important enough to keep, and the rest sat in the car waiting for them. Dave sniffed a little as he gave the house one last look, and as he limped towards the car an overwhelming sense of freedom overcame him.


	49. Chapter 49: Different Perspective

Chapter 49: Different Perspective. 

_**(A.N: Okay so it all worked out, my teacher did the accompaniment which is awesome. I am so glad he did it, however I was apparently so quiet very few people couldn't hear me. UGH. OMG Glee tonight made me so happy though. Dave's scene with Kurt was like a moment out of my dreams. The fact they were prom king and queen made me so happy –I guessed that would happen but still, made me scream like a fan girl anyway. I was a tad disappointed that they didn't dance, but at the same time I'm glad that they did it. That is what Dave would do. Anyone else think Dave looks terrified. He is hiding more than his sexuality me thinks. Anywho )**_

Azimio got out of the car with a laugh. The guys threw his football at him, laughing loudly as well. "See ya" he yelled, still chuckling as the car drove away even though he no longer remembered what they had been laughing at. He began walking towards the house, thinking about the gay essay he had to write for English that his teacher had given him an extension on. He had been getting help on it, up until a couple weeks ago.

"Az" he heard a familiar voice call out from behind him. Azimio fought the urge to turn around. That person didn't exist anymore. That person wasn't in his life anymore. That person was dead. "Az, please, talk to me man" the voice said again. He heard the click of crutches rushing to catch up with him. Azimio tried to tune out the sound, thinking of what coach had said at practice instead. "Come on, talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to you!" Azimio yelled giving into the urge. "Get the hell away from me homo" Azimio glared at the ghost of his best friend, Dave Karofsky, the dead man.

"We need to talk about this Az; you can't just push it aside and..."

"Why not? You did. You never felt the need to tell me that my best friend was a flaming queer" Azimio started walking again. Determined not to turn around again.

"You think I didn't want to tell you?" The dead dude said, the clicking of crutches starting up again. Azimio didn't understand thing, if the dude wanted to tell him, why didn't he just tell him. "I didn't know what you would say, I was...I was scared to tell you."

Azimio shook his head. His friend had never said anything about being scared. When his friend was alive he would have laughed at the idea of fear. He would have called anyone who was scared a pussy and throw them aside. That's what they did. Him and his boy were never afraid of anything. Now all of a sudden this queer took his place, shaking in his boots, hiding in a corner, not saying boo, acting like a little bitch. It pissed him off, and he didn't want to hear it.

"Karofsky wasn't afraid, my man would have just told me the truth" Azimio said, not turning around. He didn't know why he just didn't run into the house. It wasn't as though this guy would break into his house to talk about the fact that he was into, Azimio couldn't even think it.

"Karofsky was afraid, all the time man. Karofsky was always hiding, always afraid someone would find out. Karofsky hurt people to hide, he acted brave so no one would ever call him a fag, or a queer, or a homo. So that no one would ever guess who he was. Karofsky got angry at the littlest accusation of weakness, or homosexuality, or don't you remember that?" Azimio remembered the many times his friend hit someone, or yelled because someone had asked if he liked dick, or if he was a homo, even though those times had just been jokes. Azimio always just took it as disgust for homos.

"Yeah, well Karofsky was a brave guy. Karofsky was the man, he..."

"Karofsky was nothing! Karofsky was an asshole with a chip on his shoulder who bullied people to make himself feel good. Karofsky was nothing but a snot nosed little coward. He was a pathetic child who didn't know how to face up to reality. I hated him." Azimio turned to look at the dead dude's face. It wasn't a pretty sight. Twisted and red with angry and pain, like when you got tackled hard. Azimio had never known Karofsky had hated himself.

"I loved that guy, you know, no homo" Azimio shook his head at his own stupidity at saying he loved Karofsky. Now the dead dude was going to come on to him or something.

"You don't have to say no homo, it's not like I'm interested in every single guy out there man. I'm not attracted to you in any way, I promise you" the dead dude said, rolling his eyes.

"You aren't Karofsky" Azimio said. "Karofsky isn't gay. Karofsky isn't a fag. Stop trying to say he is."

"Az, you have to get it through that thick skull of yours that I, he is. Karofsky is gay. He always has been. Why do you think he never had a girlfriend? Other than the fact he isn't very attractive, I mean...don't you think that was a little suspicious?" Azimio had never really thought about it. He never really had a girlfriend either, only flirty moments with girls at clubs, or at parties. He had always just assumed it was the same with Dave. He couldn't really get a girl, but at the end of the night, he still jacked off to the thought of ladies.

"What about all the times he talked about women?"

"I'm not saying he didn't try his hardest to not be gay. If there was a way not to be gay, Karofsky tried it, and I mean everyway" the dead dude said, staring at Azimio pointedly with the last word. He meant what everyone was talking about at school before his best friend died.

"You mean you; I mean he did that because of..."

"Yeah. Yeah he did. He finally figured it out, and he thought there was no way to live and be who he was. He gave up." At this point the dead man shrugged a little bit. "Eventually he realised he was wrong."

"It's just, wrong. It's so wrong to like other dudes. It's weird. It's not normal."

"Who are we to say what's wrong and what's normal Az? When did we get the sense of entitlement? Who told us that we were the experts? I don't remember. All I know, is that I was wrong, and that no matter how freaking scary all this shit is, this is what is right."

"So, I'm never getting my best friend back?" Azimio said with a sigh.

"I can't go back there Az, not again. Can you imagine having to pretend you were gay?" Azimio shivered at the thought of acting like he was interested in other guys. "Well that's what being straight was for me man, it was awful. I hated it. The only reason I lived with it was because of fear."

"Why do you act like such a little wimp then, if you aren't afraid anymore? You let people treat you like their bitch, and don't do shit. Why? Karofsky would have beaten their skulls in."

"They deserve their shot, for all the shots I took at them, anyway, what's it going to do."

"Well, talking it lying down isn't going to do shit either. You want respect, you want my respect, you better fucking earn it man. I'm not going to be friends with someone who doesn't have the balls to fight for their opinion. With or without fists."

"You mean it man? You think you could accept me?" Azimio shook his head and shrugged.

"I dunno man; I'll have to see what you do." Azimio said. "Are you really saying with that queer Hummel?"

"Yeah, I really am"

"Why?"

"I was kicked out man" Azimio looked at Karofsky's face. It reminded him of the many times he had seen him come to school with huge bruises on his back, and on his stomach. He had never asked about that either. He really didn't know Karofsky at all, but he wondered if one day he learn to accept him, and get to know him. It seemed impossible, but then so did the idea of him being gay in the first place.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50.

_**(A.N: Thank you to JSpencer1986 for making the comment "I'm sure the writer's are reading His Own Little Hell" because it made me giggle like an idiot at the idea that the writers would be reading this thing :D. Ah, so Lima Pride made a comment that apparently 48 chapters are intimidating to new readers, and made the suggestion that I should break them off into volumes. Now, to be honest I really don't want to do this, because it just seems like a lot of confusion and what not. However, I am leaving it to you guys. You are the people who make me want to write more and more. Like, no lie each and every one you make me wake up and want to write this. Every time I get a new reader I check out their page, so I feel this decision should be yours.) **_

"You could always come to school in a dress. Or you a lady Gaga outfit" Kurt suggested jokingly, looking up from his calculus homework. His eyes twinkled with ideas, and his famous big smile took over his face. "I could design an outfit that would be sure to make them..."

"Laugh. It would be sure to make them laugh." Dave said, trying to concentrate on Act 1, Scene 5 of Hamlet. Kurt had been trying to help Dave figure out a way to stick it to the bullies, and prove himself to Azimio since Dave had come from Az's and told him. So far all his ideas involved some form of great embarrassment.

"You're gay Dave, what's the point of being gay if you can't be fabulous?" Kurt said rolling his eyes and grabbing Dave's arm with both hands, knocking the book to the floor. Kurt stared into his eyes with excitement. Dave felt a weird tingle in his stomach. He shook his head and bent down to pick up his book, Kurt's hands not moving.

"It's not me, I'm not fabulous. I don't know if I feel comfortable being fabulous. Anyway, I don't want it to be that way" Dave said, returning to the ghost of Hamlet Senior.

"What way?" Kurt inquired, putting his hands on his lap, the tingling leaving Dave's body. There was no way to get work done when Kurt wanted to talk.

"You know that 'I'm here, I'm queer, I like doing weird shit' kind of way. It would only prove their point, not mine."

"And what is your point David?" Kurt asked, his eyes turning cold, and his mouth contorting into a tight frown.

"Come on Kurt, listen it's nothing against you. You know I didn't mean it like that. I have no problem with your fabulousness, I think it's amazing, on you. But look at me; do I look like the kind of guy who could pull off that kind of thing? Let's face the facts here, I'm extraordinarily ordinary, always will be. I need to show them that I can be a sportsman, a plain everyday Joe, and like dudes. That I'm still me, only I don't have to worry about getting someone pregnant." Dave sighed at his last point. He had always thought about having kids one day.

Kurt looked down at his homework. "I know you want them to respect you again, I understand, really I do, but you weren't really yourself then were you?" Dave thought about this, was it only his homosexuality that had made him miserable?

"I'm not like you Kurt; I can't start waving my hands around, calling everyone girlfriend, reading fashion magazines and talking about the new fall collection. I like sports, I like video games, I like doing stupid guy stuff. I mean shopping with you was fun, and I love glee club, but I don't know Kurt, this is all so new to me. If I don't have at least part of my personality, I don't know what else I will have left."

"You don't have to stop liking 'guy stuff' Dave. It's not like you've switched genders. It's just, learning to embrace a new you. Opening doors, not closing them."

"I need to take it slow okay. This all come on insanely fast. I don't want to close doors, but I'm not ready to open any right now. I need time to process all this. Please don't push me into something like that" Dave looked at Kurt, Kurt nodded. "Thank you."

"It's kind of nice to know a really butch K6. I didn't realise they existed" Kurt said with a tinkling laugh.

"K6?"

"Kinsey six. Kinsey realised that most people aren't completely heterosexual or completely homosexual so he came up with a scale 1 being completely straight, 6 being 100% gay. You and I boy, we are full sixes, but the only male sixes I have ever seen are like me. You, you're different."

"You saying I don't fit in with them, and I don't fit in with you? Then who do I fit in with?" Dave's eyes widened. He had to fit in somewhere right? Kurt looked at him with sympathy, and obviously no answers. Dave leaned his head back and sighed, another thing to worry about. Dave felt and arm around his shoulder, and the tingling in his stomach return.

"You'll find that place Dave; you'll find it when you find yourself." Dave wondered when that would be. "In the mean time, we have to show the world you aren't going to let them walk all over you."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to do something that shows that being gay doesn't mean you're all of a sudden this weird creature."

"So...Gaga is definitely out then right?" Kurt joked. Dave laughed and shook his head, mouthing the word no.

"Though, I do like her music" Dave said seriously.

"Thank god. For a second, I wondered if this was all a mistake, and you were actually straight. I wonder if there is a word for a gay guy acting like a straight guy, other than closet case" Dave rolled his eyes and then suddenly it hit him.

"Can we go to the mall to get something?"Dave said quickly, unable to drive himself the way he was.

"Dave, I know I told you to open the gay doors and everything..." Kurt said, giving Dave a weird look.

"I have an idea."


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

_**(A.N: So, as of this morning most of the comments said not to change it. For that I thank you. I really like the story the way it is, so I'm glad none of you really wished to change that. This chapter was written during my free time at school so it may be of lessened quality because I am listening to a bunch of people, talking really loudly, and singing, and chilling and what not. Also, I thought Dave's plan was cool until I thought it through, now I'm not so sure, my friend says it is good. Oh well, you decide.)**_

Dave walked into school, his head held high, his mind solely on what he was going to do. He had no room for any other thought but what he was going to do. It was at this late hour that he was unsure of whether this would work, or even if it did work that it wouldn't be completely stupid. However, at this late hour there was nothing he could do, other than walk as fast as his crutches would take him out of the school and back to the Hummel-Hudson house to hide. At this point, he wasn't eliminating that option.

"Hey Karofsky? You hiding from the law or something?" A guy laughed, passing him in the hall. Dave didn't respond, it wasn't the right comment. He wondered if anyone would say the right thing. Kurt had done up his hair perfectly (so perfectly it felt like a block of ice), and they had gotten the perfect clothes at the mall for the part, and underneath was even more perfect, but it could only work if the right thing was said.

A group of guys, some of which he knew, other he hadn't seen before surrounded him in the hall. They all smiled creepily, staring at him like he had seen wolves stare at prey when he had gone camping with friends. It had been terrifying when it had been a little animal; it was even more terrifying now that it was him.

"Hey Gayofsky, whatchu all dressed up for? Going to the ballet? Going out to one of your fairy gay bars? Hey, hey Gayofsky?" one of the guys said, pushing him, his crutches falling to the floor as he hit the guy behind him. He began to fall, but the boy behind grabbed him, propping him up, only to push him forward again.

"Maybe he thought we wouldn't recognize him like this. Though he'd get away from us." Said another, as Dave was pushed into his arms.

"Uh, shit he is heavy as fuck" said Tim Donalds as Dave was forced into his hands. The other guys laughed and pushed him over to the next guy.

"Who does he think he is Clark Kent?" Said the guy he was pushed to. That was the edge he needed. Dave elbowed the next guy he was passed to, and attempted to balance himself enough to pick up his crutches.

"Yeah, I'm Clark Kent. I've always been Clark Kent. Every since I came to this school I've been pretending to be this socially acceptable person. A person that would fit in with you guys. Who wouldn't look out of place among you guys. I disguised myself as this straight guy well underneath" Dave pulled open his blue blazer, threw off his tie, and opened up his white shirt. "Underneath I was always gay" he said, showing the guys the rainbow shirt with the black letter G on the front. "I was gay the whole time, but you all were too stupid to realise it. I mean no one realised Clark Kent looked exactly like Superman did they? Or that Clark Kent left every time Superman was there. It should have been obvious. Everyone should have realised but they never did. So how come all of you are suddenly acting like it's such a big surprise. It's been there the whole time, under my machismo, and none of you thought I was weird, or queer then. So what the hell is so different now? All that's different is that you know."

"You just wanted to be able to look at our dicks without us worrying about what they hell you were doing" said Strando, glaring at Dave.

"I'm not interested in any of you" Dave said flatly "None of you are my Lois Lane. "

"Yeah, but Clark Kent was different when he was Superman than when he was Clark Kent" said Jack Connolly.

"He was better than he ever was when he was Superman, he was stronger, and faster, and cooler, and braver as Superman." Dave said, yelling in his face.

"Yeah, but at least Superman banged chicks. He wasn't some queer ass little fuck."

"Who cares who Superman bangs? What if Superman liked dudes? What would you do? What would you say if the city was being burned to the ground, and Superman is the only one to save the day, and he liked banging dudes? What would you say, 'no thanks Superman, I'd rather be flayed alive then have you save me, you like kissing other bros'? No you wouldn't, in the end it matters about as much as what his hair colour is, or what kind of underwear he wears. It's completely pointless." Dave screamed. He saw that a crowd had surrounded his attackers to listen to the fight.

"Yeah but who are you Gayofsky? You're nothing. Who are you to compare yourself to the strongest man alive, when you're just an ugly, fat, stupid, pathetic loser?" Dave gulped, feeling the sting of the comment through his heart. He wasn't sure what to say. He looked around, seeing the crowd that had developed around his attackers, listening in on the conversation. A brilliant smile caught his eye, and he looked up into the eyes of the smiler. Kurt gave him a swift nod, and mouthed the words 'you can do it'.

"Yeah, well Superman only had to deal with super villains, I have to deal with brain dead shit heads like you" Dave spat. He heard laughter in the crowd, and smiled to himself.

"So, what are you Gayman? Huh, Gayman?" Tom Daniels said lamely. "Fighting crimes against normalcy?"

"No, I'm trying to fight ignorance, but your head's so thick not even my powers can get through it" Dave snapped. Another laugh rang out through the crowd.

"I can't believe I shared a locker room with you" Strando spat, his eyes venomous.

"Yeah and did I do anything to you? Did I try and come on to you? Look Strando, look at my shirt, I've been gay this whole time. If I wanted to come on to you I would have done it a long time ago, Get it through your head. I'm not, in any way, interested in you."

"You're sick Karofsky, you're going to go to hell" said Jack Connolly.

"Well as long as I'm nowhere near you" Dave said with a fake smile.

"Let's get out of here, he isn't worth it" one of the guys said, pulling on Tom Daniels' shoulder. His attackers filed off. He knew they weren't gone for good, but for now they were too confused to continue. Dave sighed. It had turned out better than he expected. Dave looked down at his rainbow shirt, wondering whether he should re-button his white shirt and blazer.

"You were amazing Dave!" Kurt said, coming up to him and giving him a hug. "That was great; I couldn't have done better myself. I am so proud of you. That was amazing!" Kurt beamed at him, his holding his shoulders.

"I couldn't have done it without your help" Dave smirked, knowing he sounded corny. "I mean, you did my hair so perfectly."

"Well, I am a master of my trades" Kurt laughed, removing his hands slowly from his shoulders. "That was so good Dave. I really saw you out there." Dave beamed back.

"Could you help me take my shirt and blazer off?" Dave asked. Knowing he couldn't get it off by himself.

"Yeah sure, but...you only have the rainbow one to wear, you know that right?"

"I want to wear it" Dave said laughing. Kurt looked at him with a trembling smile.

"I think I might cry" Kurt said, laughing and sobbing at the same time. Dave laughed, as Kurt took off his disguise. Together they walked towards class. He glad Kurt was proud of him, and wanted to put his arm around him and walk down the hall proudly with Kurt, but he wanted more than anything to know what Azimio thought.

"Hey man" he heard a voice say behind him. Dave turned around and saw Az right there, looking awkward, twirling the straps of his backpack.

"Hey Az" Dave replied.

"You better get healed up soon, we'll need you back on the field" Azimio said, not looking into his eyes from a moment. Dave nodded, and Azimio walked away. Dave smiled.

"What was that all about?" Kurt asked confused. Dave just smiled. Kurt wouldn't understand, but that was like Az saying he loved him. It was the best reaction he could hope for.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

_**(A.N: Ugh so, you guys probably don't care but the point coming up with explain why I haven't written in a couple days. I'm a pretty emotionally strong person. I don't let much get to me, however lately something has made its way into my heart and caused it to become distressed. It also has made it hard to write. I tried writing yesterday and it was terrible, like grammar, wording was just horrible. I blame the heart bandito .Also saw a new interview with Max Adler and he brought up a good point. He said how Brittney went after Santana, and Blaine went after Kurt, but no one went after Dave because no one really knows him, so no one can really care. I liked that view, I hadn't even thought of that. It kind of makes me think. I really wish he read my fanfiction.) **_

It wasn't the first time Dave had found Kurt sitting on the couch staring blankly at the wall, his eyes filled with mist and rain. It made Dave crazy not to know what was bothering him but he didn't want to intrude, or over step his bounds. They were being civil to each other, maybe more than that, but Dave would be a fool to think they were anywhere close to being best friends, or even good buddies, which was what Kurt looked like he needed.

Still, he was sure that if he looked like that, Kurt wouldn't have hesitated to ask what was bugging him, and refuse to leave until he was informed and could figure out how to help (or at least how to make him feel better). Kurt would listen to him moan and cry and complain. He should do the same for him, it was only fair.

"Hey" Dave said plopping down next to him, tucking his crutches under the coffee table. Kurt continued to stare at nothing. "Hey" Dave said again a little louder. Kurt's head turned slightly, his lip quiver a bit.

"Hello" he replied, his voice melancholy. Dave remembered that voice from back when he bullied Kurt. He didn't like it.

"What's up?" Dave asked, wishing he had thought of something better to say. Kurt shook his head and sighed loudly.

"I don't want to talk about it David" Kurt said, his eyes turning back to the wall. Dave felt a pang of jealousy as he thought 'I bet he'd be willing to talk about it with Blaine', it confused him why that would bother him. Of course Kurt would want to share his feelings with Blaine more than himself, Blaine was his boyfriend, Dave was his ex bully.

"Oh alright, well I'm here if you want to..."

"I said I don't want to talk about it" Kurt snapped, pulling his knees into his body. He looked like a little rag doll, Dave wanted to give him a hug.

"Alright, I'm sorry" Dave said, attempting to move over a little bit on the couch to give Kurt some more room between the two of them, but Dave couldn't get his body up without sending sharp pains up his ribs. They were pretty much healed but they were still sore, Dave let out a curse under his breath.

"Are you okay?" He heard Kurt say beside him.

"I don't want to talk about it" Dave shot back, not meaning to. "Sorry, yeah I'm fine." Dave felt bad and wondered if his inner bully would ever go away.

"You're right, why should I expect you to share, when I won't. Sorry. It's just...I don't know." Kurt sighed again; a couple tears fell down his cheek. "Sorry" he whispered, sliding his hand across his face where the tears were. "Don't mind me."

"You can talk to me. I won't judge you." Kurt burst into a little sob, and covered his mouth.

"I promised myself I wouldn't cry in front of you, I guess it doesn't matter anymore" Kurt said with a little laugh. "It's, I don't know. It's not very interesting."

"I'm not listening for the entertainment value" Dave said, his eyes focused on Kurt. Kurt turned around to face him, his cheeks red and tear streaked.

"It's a little confusing, I don't know if you'll be comfortable..."

"Oh shut the hell up and tell me Kurt" Dave shouted in mock annoyance. Kurt laughed and gave another little sigh.

"Alright, it's about...it's about Blaine and I." Kurt looked to Dave for a reaction, some sort of homophobia left within him, lurking. Dave nodded understandingly, and motioned for him to continue. "It's just, I don't know. I really don't understand but...I feel stuck. It's like watching the same episode of leave it to Beaver over and over again." Kurt looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know what's wrong with me. We're perfect together. Everyone thinks so." Kurt looked so distraught. Dave couldn't really understand what Kurt meant either. Even he had to admit that Kurt and Blaine looked cute together, and they seemed to be perfect for each other. He could imagine them together forever, and it made him usually sad.

"So, what is the problem?" Dave asked, still confused about why Kurt was so upset.

"There's something missing. Something important that's missing between us. I keep trying to figure it out and I can't come up with anything. I love him; he loves me, why don't I feel like I could skip on a rainbow?" Dave shrugged, he honestly had no idea. He had never been in a relationship, he wasn't even sure if you were supposed to feel like skipping on rainbows. "I mean I did at the beginning, but suddenly I just feel like it takes so much effort to be together, and every time I think of breaking it off with him I think to myself 'what reasons do you have' and I can't think of any bullet proof arguments, so I just end up back in again." Kurt shook his head with frustration. "Is this supposed to be what a relationship feels? Like I'm in a metal box?"

"I don't know Kurt; no one has ever wanted to be in a relationship with me." Kurt looked at him, his eyes wide, and tears still swirling in them.

"If there was a reason, like Blaine was mean, or had horrible taste in music, or liked parachute pants I could understand why I would feel like this, but it's nothing. He told me he loved me yesterday and you know what I did?" Dave shook his head. "I cringed. I acted as though he was a doctor giving me a needle instead a beautiful guy telling me I`m worthy of his love"Kurt shook his head again, and put his hand on his chin. He sobbed a little again. Something in Dave made him put his hand around Kurt, and gave his shoulder a squeeze. Instead of flinching like Dave was sure he would, Kurt put his head on Dave`s shoulder gently. It hurt a little, but the feeling in Dave`s stomach made up for it. "`Thanks Dave, for listening. You`re really becoming like a brother to me"Dave`s heart stopped.

"A brother? " Dave reached for his crutches under the coffee table, and pushed Kurt off him. He got up. "What do you mean a brother? " Dave couldn`t understand why he was so angry. Being considered a brother was a good thing, at least it should have been.

"What`s wrong with you? " Kurt said, the tears completely gone from his eyes. Dave just shook his head, heading for the door. He knew it wasn`t a good idea, but he needed to get out of the room. He refused to let his anger get the better of him.

As he walked down the street he tried to sort out his feelings. He knew it didn`t have anything to do with Kurt being gay, or Kurt himself. Dave liked Kurt now that he had come out. It didn`t have anything to do with the family, Mr. Hummel had been good to him, Finn`s mom was nice, and Finn was a good guy. It was the family he always wanted. So why had he gotten so mad when Kurt had said he was becoming a brother to him.

Why did he feel weird whenever he was with Kurt? Why couldn`t he get his anger under control? Why, why, why, why? All the questions rolled around his head. He thought of the moment he got angry. It was when he said brother, but what bothered him about it?

"`Hey Karofsky!" He heard someone yell. He looked over at a car that had slowed down beside him. Inside he saw the dark haired, beautiful boy that Kurt had been talking about. "You need a ride somewhere?" Dave shook his head; he had no idea where he was going. Blaine looked so oblivious to Kurt`s pain as he smiled out to him. Dave wanted to punch him in the face. At least when he was hurting Kurt he was aware of the damage and felt remorse about it.

As Blaine drove away it clicked in. He had done something incredibly stupid. He had fallen in love with Kurt. Dave felt as though he could kick himself. Why did he have to do this to himself?

This realisation meant one thing, one thing that was going to be hard. He had to move out of the Hummel house.


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53

_**(A.N: Oh My Lord, so most of the reviews I got from the last chapter had some plead not to let Dave leave the Hummel's, and though I thought for a second about not making him leave so that some of you could not have a conniption, I have a plan and this is how it has to be. Don't worry too much about him; I'll make sure he's alright. Also think about this rationally, can the Hummel's really afford Dave anyway? What with Finn's football, and Kurt's fabulous wardrobe –I really want his skull pants from last night's episode-. Just try and trust me okay? Also...I've been having a hard time with a wonky connection to Fan Fiction and so I've been avoiding responding to replies, but now I don't remember who I replied to, and who I didn't. It makes me feel horrible, and I don't want to re-reply to something. So sorry if I didn't respond to your review, I honestly forget what I replied to and what I didn't .Yesterday's episode made me cry so hard, it was beautiful.) **_

Dave walked up to Mr. Schuester shoulders back, head high the next day at school. He had something extremely important to ask, and he hoped that the answer would work to his favour. He was planning on using Mr. Schuester's caring nature, and inability to say a definite no to a person in need to his advantage. Breathing in deeply, Dave walked up to Mr. Schuester's desk after class. "May I talk to you?"

Mr. Schuester looked up surprised but nodded, sitting on the edge of his desk casually. Dave took another deep breath. "What's up David?"

Dave spoke fast "I need some place to stay, and you said if I needed any help you'd be there so...I was wondering if I could come and stay with you for a while." Mr. Schuester looked shocked, his eyes widened and his head came forward a little bit.

"Excuse me; sorry I don't think I heard you right I thought you said..."

"I need a place to stay, and I was wondering if you could supply a place" Dave said equally as fast. "You said you would..."

"I know. I'm just confused. I thought you were enjoying your time with the Hummel's. I thought you were all getting along. Did you guys get into a fight or something?" Mr. Schuester looked as though he was about to call both Kurt and Finn into the classroom so they could sort out their problems with a song, but Dave shook his head before Mr. Schuester could speak his thoughts.

"No, no we're fine. The guys are great, I just...they have two kids already, teens are expensive, and I don't want them to worry about me along with everything else. I figured if I moved in with you I could get a job, pay rent, and all that. I don't think Mr. Hummel would let me pay rent over at his place, and I don't want to mooch anymore." Dave didn't think he would be able to tell Mr. Schuester the big reason he wanted to move out of their house.

"What about school David?" Dave had thought this through before he had come to Mr. Schuester.

"I'll stay in school. I'll get a part-time job. Something that pays a good amount of money" Dave wasn't sure what this amazing job would be, but he was willing to do anything.

"I don't know David. What about school work, what about football, what about...?" Dave cut him off.

"Mr. Schuester, if I have to I'll find somewhere else to live. I need to move out of the Hummel-Hudson's. If you want to help me, that's great, otherwise I'll find someone else. "Dave turned to leave when he heard Mr. Schuester sigh loudly.

"Wait David. Let me think about this okay. This is a big decision for both of us. I don't have a lot of room in my apartment for a teenage boy."

"You had a wife; there isn't much difference, only I won't nag you to clean." Dave said. Mr. Schuester laughed but shook his head.

"What about food, how are you going to afford food and rent with a part time job?" he asked. "Or trips with the football team and Glee club. Or clothes?"

"I have enough clothes. I should probably cut back on calories, and I'll deal with trips as they come." Dave hadn't really thought that part through as well as he thought he had.

"David...this all seems so rash. Are you sure you and Kurt aren't fighting?" Dave nodded, he was glad Mr. Schuester hadn't asked if everything was fine between them. Everything was definitely not fine with them.

"Please Mr. Schuester. I know it sounds odd, but I promise not to be loud and obnoxious. I just, this is important. I know it sounds sketchy but I really need this. Please Mr. Schuester. I'll sleep on the couch; I'll leave when you bring a girl home. Just please." Mr. Schuester sighed, and looked up at David.

"Alright. I give in. You can move in."

"Yes! Thanks Mr. Schuester, you won't regret it I promise you won't you'll..."

"There are rules though David." Mr. Schuester said sternly, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You have to be in the apartment by no later than 11:30 on a school night. You have to make sure all your homework is done. I don't want to see you drunk at anytime during your stay with me, and I want you to get a job straight away."

"Okay" Dave said, fine with the rules. "How much do I have to pay each...?"

"You won't be paying rent. I want you to make sure that money goes into the bank for University. You understand. That's what the money you make will be for. University and anything that isn't a roof over your head, medical, or food. Otherwise, I'll take care of." Dave looked at him flabbergasted.

"Can you afford that on a teacher's salary?" Dave said, not wanting to be a financial burden on Mr. Schuester.

"I already pay rent, and buying a little extra food isn't going to put me in the poor house." Dave smiled happily. "So when should I expect you?"

"Can I move in Friday night?"

"Alright. I'll get a space ready for you. Have you talked to the Hummel's yet about this?" Dave shook his head. That was going to be the hardest part. Saying goodbye to the family that had saved him. It had to be done though. "You better do that tonight David."

"I will" Dave started walking out of the room. "Thank Mr. Schuester."

"I'm here for you David."

Dave smiled as he walked to his next class that he was late for. It seemed stupid to him too, to give up the amazing Hummel-Hudson household to live in Mr. Schuester's apartment, but when Kurt had said he was becoming like a brother, he realised that living there he would never be anything but a brother to Kurt. He needed to move out, and become Kurt's friend on his own terms, with as much effort as he could muster. He needed to make Kurt see him as something more than a friend. He wanted Kurt to love him like he loved Kurt, and he couldn't do that living with him.

He couldn't see any other way, to make Kurt stop seeing him as a brother, other than trying to make out with him again. But Dave knew he couldn't collect enough courage to do that right now. So this was the only way. He hoped more than anything that his gamble would pay off in the end.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

(A.N: Ugh, just...ugh...ugh...).

Dave didn't have a lot to pack. He hadn't really come with much to begin with. Still it seemed to take him a long time to collect it all in a movable pile. Kurt stood off to the side, watching him stuff things into his backpack, even as the seams began to rip in protest.

"You know, putting your shirts in like that will cause them to wrinkle" Kurt murmured under his breath. His arms were folded and his face was void of emotion. Still Dave could tell he was angry, and tried to ignore it. If he focused too much on his anger he would throw all his stuff on the floor and stay forever. Instead he tried to stuff one more t-shirt into his bag, hoping it wouldn't fall apart in his hands. He heard Kurt suck his teeth, and then give a huge exasperated sigh. Dave ignored it; he couldn't get into this right now. In an hour he would be moving to Mr. Schuester's, another change in his currently hectic life. Dave pushed the bag sides as close as they could get, and then tried to zip it up. It didn't seem to want to close. Dave pushed them harder, determined to get it to close. His forehead furrowed in concentration. It had to close, he could make it close. He heard seams rip but focused only on closing the bag. He bit his lip as he pulled at the zipper. "Okay stop, stop, stop." He heard Kurt say, he felt Kurt's hand on his, moving them away from the bag.

"I could have gotten it" Dave said frustrated.

"Would that be before or after you had a conniption?" Kurt spat, taking things out of his bag.

"Where am I supposed to put those things?" Dave yelled back, angry at Kurt for being angry, and treating him like a child.

"Oh I don't know Karofsky, maybe you could ask for an extra bag? Or carry it? Or shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Whatever is easier." Kurt glared at him.

"Fine" Dave gritted through his teeth. Made even angrier by Kurt's use of his last name, like they had never started to become friends. "May I borrow a bag?"

"Why don't you ask Finn" Kurt said, turning to leave the room, his head held high, his nose in the air.

"Thanks for nothing" Dave mumbled kicking the coffee table stupidly with his good foot. Pain went through it and he cursed under his breath at the moronic nature of his decision. Kurt spun around, his face red with anger; his eyes narrowed and ice cold.

"You selfish, pathetic, pigheaded sub-human. I've done nothing but stick by you through this whole mess, and what do you do? You leave, the moment you see a better opening. What? Was my family not good enough? Or did you think you milked us for all we were worth? You think we're tapped out? You asshole" Kurt got right up in Dave's face, Dave pushed him away.

"Oh please you excessive drama queen. What does it matter if I leave anyway? You can have room to brood on the couch all by yourself now. Don't worry, I won't tell Blaine about your little issues" Dave internally punched himself.

"You know what Karofsky, I lied, you are enormously fat. Disgusting actually, no wonder no one likes you. It'll be great to actually be able to sit on the couch, and not squeeze onto it with you ham hock" Dave felt his stomach drop. His skin ran cold with embarrassment. He looked away; he could feel tears welling up in his eyes.

"Fuck you Hummel" Dave spat, grabbing his bag from the couch, its contents falling to the floor. Dave ignored it, and started to go through it, throwing the clothes Kurt had bought him at him. Kurt swatted them away.

"What am I supposed to do with them Incredible Bulk? No one I know fits into a 50 XL" Dave stomach jumped, he felt sick.

"Use them as table clothes then" Dave shouted, throwing the last of the clothes at Kurt's face. "Use them as parachutes; use them as a covering for the roof whatever. Now I won't owe you anything" Dave could feel tears spill from the corner of his eyes. Back in the day he would have just hit Kurt and ran away, he didn't know how to deal with it all now.

Both didn't say anything, all that could be heard was the deep, heavy breathing of Dave. Dave looked at the door as though he could blow it up with his mind. The tension so thick that even the sharpest knife couldn't cut through it.

Finally Kurt sighed and stepped towards Dave. "Listen, you know I didn't really mean that. I was just being a bitch."

"I didn't mean a lot of the things I said either" Dave admitted, not taking Kurt's apology fully.

"Please don't take what I said to heart. Well...at least not the last part." Kurt fell onto the couch uncharacteristically hard, and put his chin in his hands. "I just don't understand. Why are you leaving? What did we do that was so catastrophically horrible that you couldn't stay another second?" Kurt's lip trembled a little; he stabbed his fingers into his lip.

Dave went over to sit next to Kurt, then thought of what Kurt said and decided not to. "Listen, you guys didn't do anything. I loved staying here, but I think that it's best if I move in with Mr. Schuester. I don't want to be a burden on you guys, and ...I just think its best."

"Well, I guess you'll see Finn at school right?" Kurt said quietly, his hand still on his lip.

"And I'll see you, we're all in Glee, and...well...if you wanted, we could hang out...you know, after school." Dave mumbled the last part, hoping that Kurt wouldn't be completely disgusted by the idea.

"Yeah, I guess we could" Kurt got up and started to collect Dave's things. "I guess I over reacted a little, didn't I?"

"Just a tad" Dave laughed, still feeling upset and a little angry.

"Just explain what Mr. Schuester has that I don't?" Kurt said, hands putting his hands on his hips.

"A closet full of vests and the answers to all my Spanish homework." Kurt laughed lightly.

"It's true; my vest collection is severely less diverse than his. Still, everything was going so well. We didn't want to kill each other every five seconds, and you were looking less like the product of a hillbilly and a homeless man."

"This isn't the end of our...acquaintanceship, it's just the beginning."

"Oh my god, I really did turn you gay" Dave laughed. The two of them finished collecting Dave's stuff, putting some of the things into his bag. Finn came into the house and looked around.

"So you're really leaving man?" Finn came over looking at his sports equipment piled off to the side.

"Don't worry, I'll come over to bug you guys every once in a while, stay for your mom's dinner" Finn laughed.

"I'll get you a duffle for the rest of your stuff" Finn said, running upstairs, leaving him and Kurt alone again.

"If you don't come over every once and a while I will make sure you have to listen to the song Friday forever and ever until you die" Dave laughed and promised he would.

While they packed the rest of Dave's stuff into the duffle, they talked and laughed. For a moment Dave wanted to say screw it and stay. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad being Kurt's brother. Maybe he could live with that.

Seeing Kurt laughing though, he knew that just being brothers would be hell. He really was selfish. He didn't just want to be brothers, and if he couldn't have what he really wanted, he didn't want second place. If he couldn't win he didn't want to play. Maybe it was competitive sports mentality, but he just couldn't compromise his feelings.

Mr. Hummel came home as they were finishing packing up. "You all set?" Dave hesitated before nodding. Imagining himself packing Kurt in the duffle bag.

Finn patted him a little too hard on the back. "See you in Glee Karofsky." Dave patted him back "And football."

"Goodbye Dave" Kurt said, putting his hand out for a handshake. Dave sighed at the coldness of the act but reached out his hand to shake. Suddenly he felt Kurt's arms around him, then just as suddenly they were at Kurt's sides again. Dave blushed, and he saw Kurt blush too.

Mr. Hummel helped him out to the car, throwing his bag into the back and helping him up to the seat. "Hey, listen" Mr. Hummel said as he started driving away. "That Mr. Schuester said you were looking for a part time job."

"Yeah?"

"What do you know about cars?"

"A fair bit why?" Dave had always taken good care of his car.

"How would you like a job after practice and Glee at my garage?" Dave looked at Mr. Hummel in shock. Was he really offering him a job?

"I would love to, really?"

"Yeah, and if we run late you could always have dinner at my place, then I could drop you off after. And this way you don't have to worry about the job hunt." Mr. Hummel didn't say anymore, but he didn't have to. Both men sat, knowing this was not going to be the last time they saw each other. It was comforting.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

_**(A.N: Sorry I've been away so long. If you really care to know why PM me, if not sorry, I had stuff going on. I am also stuffing something to this chapter really awkwardly, sorry about that too. I just really want it in here so...)**_

Dave waited outside of Figgins office with as much patience as he could muster. It wasn't a lot though. His good leg bounced up and down, and his hands kept thinking they were part of some heavy metal rock band and drummed against anything in sight except (thankfully) people.

He wished that Kurt was with him, but Kurt had things to do. Anyway he needed to do this on his own. He needed to be able to do things on his own. Still, he wasn't sure if he would be able to refuse his help if he magically came down the hall and asked him. Dave focused on what he wanted to say, convincing his mouth that it didn't want to stumble over words.

"David" Figgins yelled out to him, Dave walked into his office, tripping on the way in, his crutches catching on the carpet. Blushing, Dave took a seat on the metal chairs facing Figgins desk. He took deep breaths, looking at his hands.

"What can I help you with David?" Principal Figgins asked his accent extremely thick this morning. Dave had always liked it; to him it always seemed so dignified.

"Well I have been thinking about my actions over the past year. My bullying and I am really ashamed about what I did. How I treated my fellow students. I want to make amends." Dave looked up at Principal Figgins. His head nodded in thought.

"That is very admirable David, very admirable, but what did you need to see me about?"

"Well, I want to start a club, like a Gay Straight Alliance, to give kids a place to talk things through, and learn about who they are, and maybe teach other students about acceptance, so they don't make my mistake." Dave knew it didn't sound as good as he had planned it to be, but it seemed to have worked anyway.

"Would this club need funding?" Figgins asked sternly, Dave shook his head, and Figgins face lit up and a smile stretched to his eyes. "Well then I think it is a wonderful idea David, simply wonderful. I think it is excellent this 180 you have made. I applaude you" Principal Figgins began to clap; Dave could feel his face burn red. "You need a faculty advisor though, do you have one?" Dave nodded.

"Mr. Schuester said he would be the advisor for us" Dave had talked to him about it over dinner the night before. He had thought it was a great idea, and volunteered right away to help out. "We were thinking of meeting every Wednesday, after Glee." Principal Figgins nodded again happily.

"Let me get you the club forms and you, fill them out and bring them back and we will get this club up and running as soon as possible." Figgins went into his drawer and shuffled through it. He pulled out a stabled package and handed it to Dave. "Make sure to dot every I and bring it straight back" Dave nodded and got up from the chair, walking out of the office. He felt like a balloon was filling up in his chest. He let out a huge sigh and laughed to himself.

"Hey fag" he heard someone yell out but he ignored it. He felt like he had just accomplished something brilliant.

Dave walked into the choir room with a confidence he had never felt before. He felt like he had done something actually good. Dave and Kurt had discussed how important a gay straight alliance was for people like him who were terrified. He was sure that if there was a club that cleared up things about not only homosexuality but humanity, about who we all are, that tried to get rid of ignorance; that this wouldn't have gotten as bad for him as they had.

Dave ran up to Kurt and smiled brightly, Kurt looked puzzled for a moment and then a huge smile broke out on his face too. "Oh. My. God. You didn't? You did? I can't believe it!" Dave felt Kurt's arms around him. Dave blushed again. "I am so proud of you, you've become like a gay superman!"

"Yeah, yeah" Dave said laughed, shifting his weight on his crutches.

"If your Da..." Kurt didn't finish. Dave knew Kurt didn't mean anything by it, it was a slip up, but it still stung a bit when he began to say Dad. He was over his Dad, the stupid jerk. "Listen, I have a song I want you to sing. I know you are through with your father, so I wanted you to sing one last goodbye. Please?"

"Come on Kurt, this was a good day" Dave said. What happened to the old man being history?

"Just trust me" Kurt said handing him sheet music, Dave sighed, a defeat right after a victory. Dave looked at the words and finally understood.

Hey Dad look at me /Think back and talk to me /Did I grow up according  
To plan? /Do you think I'm wasting /My time doing things I /Wanna do?  
But it hurts when you /Disapprove all along /And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud /I'm never gonna be good Enough for you  
I can't pretend that I'm alright /And you can't change me  
'Cuz we lost it all /Nothing lasts forever /I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect /Now it's just too late /And we can't go back  
I'm sorry /I can't be Perfect

Dave didn't finish the end of the song. Kurt seemed to understand and smiled at him. It was enough, and despite having to momentarily dig up old feelings, it was good to sing out the feelings to the old man had made him feel, with Kurt beside him. Taking him into the future, leading him into a place where he could be a superman.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

_**(A.N: So...I got caught writing this Chapter instead of doing my Maths homework. My teacher was not very amused. I could have explained how much I was lacking in updates, and how I really wanted to get the chapter done for you guys, but I don't think he would have been amused at that either. It was worth it though...I think...maybe. Anyway... OH AND THEY CHANGED THE FORMAT OF FANFICTION *goes into hysterics* okay I'm okay...that was scary though). **_

Dave finished wiping his hands on the dirty cloth and walked over to Kurt with a wide smile. He hadn't seen him since Glee on Friday afternoon; though only one day had gone past it had seemed like years. He wanted to tell him that, but he realised how creepy that sounded. "What are you doing here?" Kurt swung a brown paper bag in front of him, the words on it blurred from the movements.

"I knew your lunch break wasn't long enough to go to coffee, so I brought coffee to you." Kurt smiled back at him. Dave felt his insides blow up with feeling. He couldn't believe Kurt would waste his precious time on him. It made him want to dance, or something.

"I hope it's not in there" Dave laughed, pointing to the bag.

"No, it's in the car. I figured we could sit in there, listen to the radio, get out of the heat." Kurt used his head to nod towards the car.

"I'm there!" Dave shouted, clomping towards the car as fast as his crutches would take him. Soon he would be rid of them. Dave jumped into the passenger's seat while Kurt gracefully slid into the driver's side, throwing him the brown bag. Dave pulled out an everything bagel with cream cheese. He bit into it lovingly; as though it was his first meal in days. Kurt sighed in mock frustration as he took a sip of his mocha and took out his own brown bag.

"So, are you having fun down in the testosterone shop?"

Dave covered his mouth and answered "Yeah, its great" the words muffled by bagel. He took a gulp of his coffee and swallowed hard. It was just the kind he liked, black. "It's cool to work with cars, better than a job as a waiter or something" Kurt laughed and turned on the radio. From it blared a Madonna song. Kurt looked over at Dave.

"Are you okay with this?" Dave nodded. He no longer minded listening to effeminate music. It was actually a relief from all the Springsteen and Mellencamp that he had learned were favourites in the shop. The two sat in silence as they enjoyed their lunch. It wasn't tense or awkward, but calming.

"My dad isn't working you too hard is he?" Kurt joked, taking a small bite of his food. Dave took note of how slowly Kurt ate, as he swallowed the last bit of his own, crumbling up the bag. He felt like a pig, but Kurt didn't seem to notice his gluttony.

"No. Honestly I think he is too easy on me. I could be doing way more than I am." Dave slurped down his coffee. The only complaint he had was that he didn't have much of a break, but he didn't really need it.

"Are you joining us for dinner?" Kurt asked, not looking at him while he spoke. Dave wanted more than anything to say yes.

"Not tonight. I told Schue I would cook." Dave and Schue had worked out a deal that he would cook some days, and Schue would cook others that way one person didn't get stuck doing it every day for the rest of their lives. At least, they agreed to do that on the weekends. The week days got a little weird, and he liked accepting dinner invitations to the Hummel's every once in a while.

"You can cook?" Kurt asked surprised, not taking note of the fact that he was no longer calling him Mr. Schuester.

"Not well, but I'm learning" Dave wasn't completely horrible at cooking, but he tended to leave boiling water on the stove and forget about it.

"It gets easier the more you practice. Trust me, the first time I made a soufflé it was just awful. I swore never to pick up a spatula again and look at me now" Kurt smiled knowingly.

"Maybe I should cook dinner for you one day and you can tell me how I'm doing" the words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them. He winced waiting for Kurt to glare at him, or scoff at the very idea, but instead he smiled.

"Sure. That would be fun." Dave blushed. He couldn't believe he had said yes. Dave looked at the time, so that he didn't have to look at Kurt. He only had three minutes left before he had to go to work.

"How about Saturday at Schue's house? Unless you're doing something with..."

"Saturday will be great." Kurt answered quickly, his face falling a little. Dave wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he needed to get going. He promised himself that he would ask Kurt about it later.

"So Saturday right?" Dave said again, grabbing his crutches to get out of the car. He hoped Kurt would change his mind and forget about coming.

"I don't know how I will make it through the week with such excitement on my mind. I think I shall go mad" Kurt joked, dramatically putting the back of his hand to his forehead then laughing, smiling the smile Dave loved, the one that lightened his eyes.

"Uh, okay...see you in Glee" Dave closed the car door and walked away as Kurt drove out of the lot. Nerves suddenly filled every part of his body. He could feel panic sweeping over him. He was cooking. For Kurt. Him. Cooking. For Kurt. Kurt Hummel. Cooking! Dave wondered if it was possible to die from embarrassment, half hoping you could.


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

_**(A.N: So something was up with Fan Fiction last night. It annoyed me to no end. Anyway...human emotions confuse me. Weird because I love writing and specifically love writing about the human emotional process. I guess maybe that is why. Side note, writing this while listening to Cousin Kevin from the Who's Tommy is really odd). **_

Dave set up the dining room table with a burgundy table cloth, and cream coloured candles. At least, that's what the packaging said he was setting the table with. To him it was just a dark red thing, and white stuff, but he knew Kurt would know the difference, so he figured he should too.

Dave put the china plates on the table carefully along with shining silver cutlery that Schue had let him use. He kept moving the plate slightly, frowning, then lifting it up and starting again. It never seemed right to him. He moved the candles too. Shifting them a little to the right, then to the left, then to the right again. His head pounded with stress. A little voice inside him told him he was going to screw up.

"David it looks fine" Schue said from behind him. Dave's brow furrowed, Schue was wrong, it didn't look right. Dave flattened the table cloth for the fiftieth time. "It's just Kurt" Schue stated, shaking his head. A chill went down his spine, just Kurt? "Anyway aren't you going to need to take the plates away to get the food anyway?" Dave stopped moving the plate. He was right. Dave instead turned his attention to the forks, moving them closer to where the plate would be once it had food, he felt a hand on his own, stopping him from doing anything. "David, go check on the food" Dave nodded; he was right about that too. The food was the important part, not the presentation.

He was making lasagne, Caesar salad, and garlic bread. He had spent all day preparing it. He knew it was a risky dish to do but he wanted to pull out as many stops as he could. He just hoped that it wouldn't turn out too badly. To make sure he didn't forget anything he made a list, and checked it off as he did each thing. Still, he felt like he was going to do something wrong.

"I'll be back at eleven, try not to burn down the apartment" Dave's heart beat increased, he hadn't even thought of the possibility that he destroy the apartment. "David...I was joking."

"Yeah, I knew that" Dave mumbled, but his heart didn't calm down. He heard the click of the door as it closed behind Schue. He checked on the lasagne in the oven. It still didn't look cooked enough. He tried to will it with his mind to heat up faster. It ignored him.

Leaving his food for a moment he went to the washroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He still had scars on his face, and the green of healing bruises covered his face, but he was looking better than he had before. He fingered a long white scar that went across his forehead and wondered if it would ever go away.

His hair curled wildly on top his head. He needed to get a haircut soon. Dave turned on the tap and let the water run over his fingers for a few seconds. Lifting them up carefully, trying not to get any water on his green polo he ran his fingers through his hair and softly rubbed his face. He then adjusted his collar and straightened his shirt against his body. Just like the table he never seemed to look right. He contemplated changing his shirt again (the green one being the fifth shirt in a line of disappointments) but he knew he didn't have the time. "Oh shit the bread" Dave cursed, rushing to the kitchen to put the bread in the oven. "It has to be in an oven to be heated, right" Dave rubbed his forehead with frustration. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself down and allowed himself to slip to the floor. He glanced at the clock. Kurt would be here soon and it felt like he had a million things left still to do.

The sound of the doorbell sounded more like a gunshot in the quiet that his stress had caused. Swallowing his nerves he walked to answer Kurt's call. His heart beat like a rabbit's, thumping as though it was trying to rip out of his chest. Dave took a deep breath, sucking in his stomach and straightening his shoulders. Slowly he opened the door, closing his eyes for a moment, the opening them wide with shock at the figure in front of him.

Kurt smiled shyly at him from the hallway. He looked amazing in a white dress shirt and a black blazer, a little rainbow pin on the lapel. His hair as always was combed and styled to perfection, with a little flip in his bangs. The most surprising, and heart racing thing was that in his hands Kurt held a bouquet of red tulips. Both boys stood awkwardly in their spots, unsure of what to say, or do.

"May I come in?" Kurt finally volunteered, craning his neck to see inside the apartment.

"Oh yeah, of course sorry, come on in" Dave said quickly, stepping out of his way, stumbling on his words and his feet.

"Where are you crutches?" Kurt asked concerned.

"Oh...I'm trying to move without it. They can be a bit of a nuisance in the kitchen. Anyway, it doesn't hurt as much as it did, as long as I don't put a lot of weight on it." Kurt shook his head.

"You're going to hurt it that way" Kurt looked at his casted leg, and up and his face sternly.

"I'll go back to using them later okay?" Dave said, not wanting to fight with Kurt right off the bat. "May I take your jacket?"

"You may thank you" Kurt giggled, standing still as Dave pealed his jacket slowly, his hands touching Kurt's shoulders, and back. He walked over to the coat closet and gently hung it up. "Here, Miss. Manners says that it is very impolite to come empty handed, so I thought flowers might be nice, considering its two men living together, I thought that it could probably use a feminine touch." Kurt grinned, and Dave took the flowers from him. Taking a deep whiff of them before smiling himself.

"They sure smell nice" he said dully. "I'm not sure I know where the vases are though."

"You can just fill up a sink with water for now" Kurt suggested wisely.

"Why don't I lead you to your table a Le Karofsky?" Dave said, using his hands to indicate the direction they were to go.

"I shall follow your lead" Kurt said laughing. The two walked side by side, slowly. When they reached the table Dave pulled out the first chair and gestured for Kurt to take a seat. "Why thank you David" Kurt laughed, sitting down daintily. Dave pushed the chair in roughly.

"Sorry...let me put this in some water" Dave grumbled, limping to the kitchen. If filled one of the sinks with water and gently put them in, smelling them again. He then walked back to Kurt.

"I love the smell of these candles? Are they vanilla?"

"Um...I think so" Dave said embarrassed, he had forgotten that candles had smells too.

"Did you put this together?" Kurt asked, Dave nodded bashfully. "It's beautiful. I like the colour scheme. It's very Italian, very ro...well it's very nice." Dave wanted to know what Kurt was going to say, but didn't want to bother him. "Relax David, sit down, and calm yourself." Dave exhaled. "Hey do you smell something burning?"

"Oh shit the bread" Dave yelled. He ran as fast as he could to the stove. The bread was burnt. He felt like he could cry. He should have waited to put it in.

"Oh Dave, don't worry about it" Kurt said from behind it.

"Ah, and it's only the beginning" Dave shook his head.

"So at least we know it can get better" Kurt said, touching Dave's shoulder.

"Unless I burn the apartment building down" Dave said, reiterating Schue's joke.

"Well that would be fun, dinner and arson, and after that we can rob a bank. We could be like Bonnie and Clyde. You can be Bonnie."

"Oh thanks" Dave laughed. His nerves quelled. Why had he been so nervous in the first place? The boys laughed at Dave's stupid mistake, as though it was nothing, because it was nothing. The feeling made Dave grin like never before.


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

_**(A.N: Just graduated my vocal program! Whoo Hoo! Also...love is stupid, don't do it kids. I think I need a man language translator. Also check out JSpencer1986 awesome music. He is freaking awesome sauce...like ...gah...I feel like I should block him from reading my story now that I know he is a singstar.) **_

Dave took a big bite of lasagne. The meat was a little tough but otherwise it tasted pretty good. He looked up at Kurt under his lashes to see if he was enjoying it. There was no expression on his face, but he was eating it, so that was a good sign.

Dave didn't like the silence. It was comfortable, but he wanted to get to know Kurt. He wanted to find out what made Kurt function. Hear his opinions on life, entertainment, politics, and especially love. The problem was, he couldn't get to know him if they didn't talk, but Dave didn't know what to say. He wasn't much of a talker in the first place, but now his nerves were ravaging his vocal chords, and he couldn't seem to figure out the right thing to say. "Want to play a game?" He blurted out loudly, making Kurt jump in fright. Dave blushed embarrassed by his outburst.

"Um, what kind of game, you're not going to make me saw off my own leg are you?" Kurt asked sceptically, his head tilted to one side.

"No, how about the question game? You ask me a question, I ask you a question and whoever stops loses" Kurt smiled and shrugged. "Who should go first?"

"I'll give you the honours" Kurt said brightly.

"Okay, um...what cologne are you wearing?"

"Eternity Summer by Calvin Klein, the green bottle. Why are you holding yourself like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like that, why are you holding yourself like that?"

"I'm just trying...I am just...trying to make myself look better why did you choose that to wear?" Dave rushed through the words quickly.

"I thought a simple ensemble would be best for the occasion. What do you mean look better?"

Dave sighed. Why did Kurt have to be so persistent? "It's just...smaller...I was trying to look smaller" Dave cleared his throat and quickly changed the topic. "When did you start singing?"

"I don't know. It seems like I came out of the womb with white gloves and tap shoes. I don't remember a time I didn't sing. Why did you take my cake top?"

"I don't know. I was stupid then, I didn't even think. I probably did it to intimidate you" Dave replied sadly. "I'm sorry" he looked at the table for a moment. "Do you hate me?" Dave looked back at Kurt.

Kurt looked at him intensely. "No" he replied, and there was quiet for a minute. "How's gay life turning out for you?"

"Well...I'm alive, I'm not being ridiculed every minute, I still have friends, I'm not being beaten...its going pretty good thanks, definitely better than I expected. What do you want to do after high school?"

Kurt laughed sweetly and shook his head "I figured it would be obvious. I want to go to New York and become a big Broadway star, have everyone love me. It would be" Kurt began to do jazz hands "fabulous." Dave laughed with him. He could imagine Kurt up on some big stage with people cheering and throwing flowers to him. "What do you want to do?"

"When I'm out of high school?"

"Well yeah."

"I don't know. I mean, I'd love to play football professionally, or hockey but I doubt that's going to happen. I keep my grades up for an Ivy League school, but I probably won't be able to afford tuition and I probably won't get a scholarship. I don't know what I would take anyway. I use to want to be a lawyer, but now...I don't know."

"What do you like to do?"

"Play sports, music, I like video games, otherwise...I'm not too sure."

"Maybe you should figure that out." Kurt looked at him sympathetically. Dave wondered how he could have lived so many years without knowing what he liked to do.

"I lost..." Dave said.

"What?"

"I didn't ask you a question. I lost." Kurt looked at him quizzically for a second, then laughed.

"First game I've won against a jock."

"Darn and I had so many questions." Dave mock snapping in anger.

"What, are you writing down the biography for my e-true Hollywood story?"

"Are you ready for your close-up?"

"Always" Kurt laughed. "Well go ahead; I give you permission to ask one more question."

"Oh well thank you your Majesty" Dave said with a bowing gesture of his hands. "What is it like?"

"What is what like?" Dave sighed, realising he had forgotten the most important part of that sentence.

"Being in a relationship, with a guy, with anymore? What's it like?" Dave felt nervous asking. He had never been in a relationship himself, and the idea seemed so mysterious and interesting to him. It was like the Holy Grail, or some ancient library hidden away for centuries. To Dave, it was something so unattainable and beautiful that he just wanted a glimpse of what it was like.

Kurt pondered the question for a moment. Dave looked at him eagerly. "Well it depends I guess. There are different stages too. It's all really complicated." Kurt sighed and looked forlorn. "Sometimes it is amazing. I mean just like they say in the movies. It's all magic, and sparkles, and roses, and sunsets. Then on the flip side it's uneventful, and annoying, and aggravating, and heartbreaking. Some moments you feel like you'd die without the person, and the next you want to stab hot knives into your eyes just to get away from them. Most days it's the latter. I don't know though, I've only ever been with Blaine." Kurt's eyes began to water.

"Kurt what's wrong?" Dave got out of his chair, and stood next to him. He couldn't kneel because of his leg, but he wanted to be near him.

"It's nothing, I'm sorry. I'm just being a bit of a drama queen" Kurt sniffled a bit, wiping his eyes.

"Please tell me what's wrong" Dave said pleadingly. He looked into Kurt's misty eyes, and felt his own eyes swell.

"It's just. Blaine. I...I yelled at him the other day. I told him he needed to go away; I told him I hated him. All he did was ask me if I wanted to go for coffee and I snapped. I am just so tired of this routine. He drains me. All we do is sing and drink coffee, sing and drink coffee. Shop, drink coffee and sing. There has to be more to us than that doesn't there? There isn't though. It's driving me mad. I ...I don't know what to do." Kurt looked so lost. I hurt Dave to see him so down, and so confused.

"What does Blaine say about all this" Dave asked.

"Just that he loves me, and that he doesn't understand what's wrong. He refuses to see that this isn't some fairytale. That we aren't this perfect gay couple, in our perfect gay world, made of perfect gay rainbows and unicorns. He seems to think that just because we are both gay that we should be made for each other."

"Well didn't you think so to?"

"I did, when he was my courage, but now...I have my own. All that's left now is nostalgia and a metro station CD that he refuses to take from my car." Kurt pushes his finger tips into the side of his head. "I want to be friends, but I can't be with him anymore."

"Then you should break up with him Kurt. If he is making you crazy, you should tell him. Don't suffer for someone else's sake; you'll only end up broken and lonely." Dave looked at the wall sadly.

"He loves me though. I've never had that before."

"There will be others that love you much more than he ever could. You can't just settle because you're afraid no one else will ever love you."

"You think so?" Dave looked at Kurt's imploring face.

"Yeah, I know it. I just hope you find someone worth your love." Kurt looked at him with huge eyes. "I-I- you know. I just hope, you know, that you find someone true, who sees you, and who isn't a total idiot."

The two looked at each other for a long time. Dave could see Kurt's face moving towards him slowly. He didn't understand what was going on until his lips were on Kurt's, and suddenly Kurt was standing, his arms on Dave's shoulders.

It was so different from the first kiss. The other was passionate and angry; both wanted to kill each other. Dave had kissed him last time, but this time, the kiss was soft, sweet, neither jumping away, and it was Kurt that started it. Dave's eyes closed, and he felt a tingle rush through him. It seemed to end just as quickly as it began.

"What am I doing?"

"W-wow" Dave sputtered.

"Dave I'm sorry I..." but Kurt didn't finish, their lips were together again. Dave felt his stomach jump. "Dave stop, what's going on? What are we doing?"

Dave didn't think he could speak so he did the next best thing, he sang;

It's been, it's been, it's been, it's been/su-su-such a long time, long time, long time  
since anybody touched me, touched me, touched me/the way that you touch me  
So if I stutter, stutter, stutter/and I feel so so so unsexy  
so maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut at least until you kiss me  
So kiss me again/Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stuttering  
Kiss me again/And ease my su-su su-su su-su su-su-su suffering  
I know I know /it's so it's so sy-sy-sy-sy-symbolic of everything/Everything that's wrong with me and you  
So tell me what I'm supposed to do/Oh it's been ages since we've been really honest  
but I can make ch-ch-ch-changes if you really want this/So kiss me again  
Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stuttering/Kiss me again  
And ease my su-su su-su su-su su-su-su suffering/Kiss me again  
Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stut-stuttering  
Kiss me again/And ease my su-su su-su su-su su-su-su suffering

Dave kissed him again, looking at Kurt. Kurt looked at him. His eyes bewildered.

"I need to go home" Kurt said, rushing for the door, forgetting his jacket. Dave didn't stop him. He didn't even mind that the food was left uneaten. Kurt had just kissed him. That was all that mattered right now. Kurt had kissed him. Kurt had kissed him.


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59. 

_**(A.N: It is really weird to write feelings of love when I want to collect all the couples in the world, put them on an ark, then flood the ark. Anyway, whatever...I think Adam Sandler's character Robby summed it up best in the Wedding Singer. LOVE STINKS YEAH YEAH. No truer words have ever been sung with anger. I just people would stop speaking in riddles and be more blunt. Bluntness is less frustrating.) **_

Kurt clicked his pen, pressing the top down hard, then letting it go slowly. He waited a couple seconds then did it again, the whole time his eyes stared blankly at the wall in front of him. His thoughts stopping him from seeing anything real.

"Okay, okay you need to stop that now" Mercedes snapped grabbing his hand. "You is driving me out my mind. What's up with you?" Kurt shook away his thoughts for a moment and looked at her. Her face was concerned and annoyed. He wanted to tell her, but he was afraid she would rip his head off and stick it on the flag pole.

"Just thinking about this history project, not sure how I want to approach it. I was thinking of asking Mr. Scallen if I could write a Broadway number about..."

"Don't bullshit me. I know you and I know you're not out of it because of this stupid history project. Is this about Blaine?" Kurt had told her some of his doubts about Blaine, though Mercedes thought he was perfect. She was one of the only people she had told about his feelings. Kurt shook his head, then nodded, then shook his head, then nodded. "Are you practicing head banging? Tell me what's going on!"

Kurt sighed dramatically and fixed his bangs. "You know I love you but I just don't want to talk about it, okay?" Kurt stared at her hand, party admiring her nice good ring with little diamonds in the shape of a heart, and partly trying to signal her to move it.

"Kurt, you always want to talk, you're freaking me out. Blaine isn't hitting you is he?" Mercedes face showed real concern, and then it went quickly to anger. "Because if he is I will cut him."

"Easy tiger, no he isn't beating me. I know our lives seem to be an episode of young and the restless but let's be a tad less melodramatic."

"So then...what is it?"

"Listen you can't tell anyone okay? I mean it, not even Tina" Kurt said, turning to hear in excitement, his free hand landing on hers.

"Whoa this is serious give me a second" she flipped her hair back "Okay I promise not to tell a single person, I promise." Kurt took a deep breath and stared her straight in the eyes.

"Well, I was at David's Saturday."

"Karofsky's? What were you doing at...?"

"It doesn't matter why I was at David's, anyway I was at David's and..."

"How can you stand him? I mean I know he's 'changed' and come out and all that, but he used to bully you. I would never..."

"Noah Puckerman."

"What?"

"Puck threw us into lockers, trash cans, port-o-potties, threw slushies at us, made fun of us, harassed us to no end and we still accepted him with open arms. Why is everyone so reluctant to forgive Dave?" Mercedes looked at him with shock. Kurt huffed with anger; his voice had a slight snarl. Seeing Mercedes expression calmed him down. "Sorry."

"It's just. David targeted you. I don't know why but seeing you ripped apart like that killed me. I can't just forgive him as easily as you seem to have. He didn't beat me up, he didn't beat Quinn up, he beat you, and not just physically."

"He didn't just beat me up, he beat himself up. He tore himself up. The only reason you hate him is because you've never seen that other person. If you could see the bruises, and scars he gave himself you wouldn't, you couldn't hate him."

"You didn't see what I saw, what he did to you. You didn't have to stand and watch while you went from Oz to Kansas. Kurt it was horrible."

"I know, but trust me. He did more damage to himself then he could have ever done to me. He is a good person Mercedes" he gave her a look of reassurance.

"So you went to the apartment?" Kurt thought for a moment. Why had he gotten so defensive of Dave? "Kurt?"

"Oh yeah, so I went to the apartment and he made dinner and we..."

"He made dinner? The super white jockstrap made you dinner?" Mercedes laughed hard, her head shaking, her cold earrings shaking with her.

"Lasagne."

"How was that?"

"The meat was a little tough; otherwise he did a pretty good job."

"So he made you dinner?"

"We talked. I told him about my problems with Blaine, and I..." Kurt zoned out again. Ever since Saturday he had been trying to figure out why he had kissed Dave. It had seemed so illogical yet, he had done it without hesitation. It seemed as sudden as Brittney kissing Madonna. He couldn't understand why he would suddenly feel the urge to kiss the chubby sweaty hamhock he had told he wouldn't be interested in. Who he had promised to hate forever and ever. He had kissed him.

It clicked into place now. He wasn't the chubby hamhock anymore. He was Dave, he was charming, funny, insecure Dave. Broad shouldered, sparkling eyed David. Good singer David. He wasn't the same person anymore. Just as dangerous but...different.

"You what? Damn Kurt tell me!"

"I kissed him." Mercedes looked like she had been slapped.

"You...WHAT? Oh hell to the no, you did not kiss the man monster!"

"I did."

"That's nasty. Did he like...spite all over you?" Kurt though for a moment.

"It was...sensational actually. Like hitting a high F, or finding the perfect outfit on sale. Mercedes he may be inexperienced, but that boy has raw talent."

"Have you told Blaine?' Kurt shook his head.

"I don't know how I'm going to tell him. I don't even know what i want to do."

"Well, how did the beast take it?"

"He sang to me" Kurt gushed, blushing. "I was so confused, so overwhelmed, I fled like a movie heroine. Oh Barbara Streisand, I forgot my blazer."

"This is really dangerous Kurt. I think you should think this through before doing something stupid. Talk to Blaine, I'm sure he can help you sort this all out."

Kurt knew it was a good idea. He knew Blaine was the safer bet, but even though Blaine was Prince Charming, at this moment he really wanted to talk to Dave.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60

_**(A.N: I know chapters are coming out slow but I have exams and am starting on my own project (which so far really really sucks and should be terminated). However I am still working on this, until the very end Also I have to thank my friend Sarah for singing to me while I writing this. I didn't help, but it was hilarious. Also random story, I deleted all my friends on Facebook. Yeah. I am slowly finding out who cares about me as they add me back. It felt great doing it, but finding out who doesn't care is kind of painful. )**_

Dave walked down the hallway with a big smile on his face. It hadn't left him since Saturday night. No matter what he did, he couldn't stop. The memory of Kurt's lips on his filling him with such joy that he just couldn't be brought down. Even when he heard whispered parts of conversations about his sexuality, and his mother he didn't have to clench his jaw and ignore them, he just went back to his world of Kurt and everything was good again.

He still had his jacket too; he hadn't spoken to Kurt since that night. He knew it had been a mistake, a spur of the moment action that Kurt probably regretted. Dave knew it didn't make them boyfriends or anything. He wanted to explain that to Kurt, but he wasn't sure he could keep his school boy giggles and disappointment at the truth hidden. He was sure he was more than lucky about the fact that Kurt hadn't bothered to come to Burt's garage. He hoped Kurt wouldn't ignore him forever.

He felt his face plant into the locker before he could figure out what was going on. He heard his crutches fall to the ground with a clatter and the bang as his body hit with full impact. He felt strong hands gripping his shoulder hard, as though they were trying to tear out the blade. He was pulled back and slammed into the lockers again, his head hitting a lock. "What did you do to him?" he heard a voice say, accompanying the clangs. Dave recognized the voice but he couldn't place it. "What did you do to him?"

Dave could reply if he wanted to, he felt himself pulled back and shoved once again. What had he done? Since coming out he hadn't bullied anyone. He tried to think of someone he had bothered before that would require this kind of revenge. The only name he could think of was he had already made up with, so it couldn't be them.

"Blaine stop" he heard a voice shout. He knew that was Kurt's voice. Dave used his shoulder to shove Blaine off of him, attempting to turn around to face his attacker. Blaine refused to let him get the upper hand, pinning his leg with his own.

"What did you do to him?" Blaine hissed again. His voice was filled with poison, as though he was trying to make words kill. Dave had no idea what he was talking about. He hadn't done anything...this time.

"Blaine stop it" he heard Kurt say again, and then felt himself being freed from Blaine's grips. Quickly he turned around and looked at him. From his expression Blaine also thought looks could kill, they almost did. Kurt pushed him back, getting in between him and Dave, facing Blaine. Dave had been in enough fights to know you never faced the person you were in cohorts with. Kurt was defending him, Kurt was on his side.

"Blaine, what's going on" he heard the voice of Rachel Berry say, and saw her pushing her way through the crowd. She stood beside Blaine (her preference and alliance shown) her eyes filled with curiosity and worry.

"Yeah, what's up?" Finn said, coming to stand by Dave. He put his hand on Dave's shoulder and squeezed, reassuring him that he was on his side.

"He knows what he did" Blaine spat. He had never imaged this kid angry. Dave had always thought Blaine was a pretty calm guy. He never would have believed he could be so furious. Dave however had no idea what he had done; he knew he was missing something.

"What did you do now?" Rachel Berry shrieked, turning her eyes to Dave, flames in her eyes. She then turned to Kurt, her eyes softening. "What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything" Kurt said. "Blaine please stop this, let's just go back outside and talk about this calmly and..."

"Kurt, hun, I know you're upset, but this douche bag has done enough, you don't need to defend him" Blaine said kindly to Kurt. He looked back at Dave with pure hate. "You need to leave him alone...just leave him alone."

"You can't tell him what to do; you want to take this outside?" Finn snapped, glaring at Blaine.

"Look Finn, this has nothing to do with you. This is between me and the three ton baby here."

"If you have a problem with him, you have a problem with me if you catch my drift. You want to fight him, you have to fight me."

"I don't want to have to hurt you Finn but I will" Blaine said his eyes narrowing on Dave.

"Okay, okay stop. What the hell is going on here?" Dave finally shouted.

"You assaulted my boyfriend" Blaine spat. Dave's eyes widened. The noise from the crowd that had surrounded them suddenly stopped. Everything was wrapped in a loud quiet that left him feeling anxious. He could feel everyone's eyes go to him. Waiting for him to deny it, or get pissed off. Instead he just stared at Blaine in shock.

"What?" Finn said stupidly, his hand still on Dave's shoulder.

"He didn't assault me!" Kurt screamed, his eyes wide with as much shock as Kurt. "He didn't do anything like that!"

"You pig, you vile pig. How could you..." Rachel Berry started.

"He didn't do that Rachel! Why would you say something like that?"

"I would never hurt Kurt again" Dave added shakily, his voice sounding coarse.

"You stay away from him" Blaine said, ignoring his comments.

"Okay will someone explain what happened" Finn exclaimed, frustrated.

"He assaulted..."

"I kissed David" Kurt said, turning to Finn. "If anything I assaulted him."

"You what?" Both Rachel and Finn said at the same time. Who was more shocked was unknown.

"Don't try to defend him Kurt, he..."

"He didn't force me into it. He didn't ask me to. I kissed him on my own accord. Just because I kissed someone who isn't you doesn't mean they had to tie me up and beat me. I kissed him because I wanted to. You just had to be a drama queen about it. You had to let everyone know you're angry. I bet you even have a song ready to express your feelings don't you?"

"Kurt, you couldn't have. Come on you wouldn't..."

"I did. I don't mean to hurt you but...I kissed him. I kissed him and now that you've made a big spectacle of it I might as well say I want to break up." Dave felt his lungs fill with air. What did he say?

"You want to break up with me. For him?" Blaine looked shocked.

"Kurt maybe you should re-think this" Rachel said.

"No, I'm not breaking up with you for David, I am breaking up with you because I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore. I want to be your friend, but I don't want to be your boyfriend. I'm sorry" Blaine stared at him like he was crazy.

"I blame you" Blaine said, staring at Dave. Blaine stormed out, his face flushed. Kurt looked at Dave, walking over slowly.

"I'm sorry that happened" he said, looking into his eyes softly. Dave shrugged, it was semi embarrassing but he would get over it. "I am really sorry, I tried to get him to keep it quiet, but you know us fags." Dave laughed and shook his head. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm fine" Kurt nodded and walked away, heading towards his next class. Dave just stared, Kurt and Blaine were broken up. Kurt had defended him. Kurt had...

"You kissed Kurt?" Finn asked.

"Yeah."


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61

_**(A.N: Sorry I have been away for a while guys. I had finals which I was really stressed about, plus I am preparing for my prom which is on Monday. I feel really bad for leaving you hanging but I had things to do. I could be doing other things right now too. I just bought season one of Rome and I really want to watch it, but I also don't want to disappoint you guys, so I'm writing this first. I know it doesn't mean much, and I'm not trying to act all high and might, but I want you guys to know I love you for reading this, and you're high on my priorities list, just not above education.) **_

Dave sat in the library, his head buried in his book, so focused on his history notes he didn't notice the chair across from him scrape back. He didn't notice as the person in the chair squirmed awkwardly, but he couldn't not notice when they put their cold hand on his warm one. He looked up dazed to see Kurt sitting there, his face concentrating hard on his. "Big test coming up?" Kurt asked, looking at Dave's book for a brief moment, then returning his eyes to him.

"Uh, yeah, next period" Dave stammered. Trying to gaze somewhere else, but Kurt wouldn't let him.

"It isn't like you to leave it to the last minute" Kurt commented, keeping his hand on Dave's. Dave could feel sweat drip down his back. It had been freezing in the library only a few seconds ago, yet suddenly he felt like asking the librarian to turn on a fan or something. Dave opened his mouth to respond, then closed it, then said.

"How could something be like me if I don't know who I am yet?"

"I guess that's true, but all comebacks aside, you're usually better prepared than this."

"I-I had a lot of things on my mind, I just forgot about it" Dave said, knowing Kurt would understand that what he meant was that he kept thinking about their kiss, Blaine's blow out.

"I am really sorry about yesterday Dave; I have no idea why he did that. It's not like him to be such an animal. I can't believe he yelled out our little dilemma in front of the whole school." Kurt shook his head lightly, and rolled his eyes.

"It's okay. That happens a lot at this school" Dave noted, giving Kurt a shy smile. Kurt laughed and nodded, his eyes sparkling the way they did when Kurt was extremely happy.

"Maybe I should talk to you later, after school maybe..."

"No it's fine; I know most of it anyway." Dave knew he was lying to himself, and he was sure Kurt knew the same, but neither of them admitted it.

"About Saturday..."

"I know. It was a mistake. You were upset with Blaine and about your relationship and you just, I don't know. I understand, you don't have to explain, really don't worry." Dave had been waiting for this conversation since their kiss. He didn't want to hear the words come from Kurt though. It was easier if he said it and Kurt agreed, then he would have to hear the pity, and the apologies, and he could continue imagining Kurt saying things like...

"It wasn't a mistake. I mean, it was, but it wasn't. Wow, bare with me for a second while I try to become articulate. Okay, I hadn't meant to do it. I hadn't meant to kiss you. I hadn't thought of you that way at all, and I didn't think until I was at home, under the cover, breaking into hysterics, but I did think about it. I really wanted to kiss you Dave. I don't know why, but I did, and my subconscious knew that even before it hit me. I like you Dave. I can't explain it, but I do."

"I-I are you, I mean...is what you're saying...are you saying that, wait, what?" The words went into Dave's hear, and connected with his brain, but it was like listening to a song in a foreign language, it sounded nice but he couldn't understand what it meant.

"I like you David. I'd like to, if you would like to, go out sometime, like on a date." Dave stared at him. He could feel himself burning up. He took a quick look around library to see if the few people in there were looking at him. They weren't, but by the way they stared at their upside down books he knew they were listening.

"Are you asking me on a date?" Dave said stupidly.

"David, do you need a new operating system? Yes, I am clearly asking you on a date. I know it's a little weird, but I'd like to..."

"Me too" Dave said quickly, he could feel blood pounding in his head. He smiled a big bright smile and almost jumped out of his seat. He wanted to go on the date now, just sweep Kurt away to some little Italian restaurant to wine and dine him. He wanted to bring him to the movies and bump hands as they both tried to get popcorn from a bowl they were sharing.

Kurt giggled a bit and let his hand slip down until only the tips of his fingers were touching Dave's. "Well I'm glad you didn't have to think about it for too long. Are you sure though, I mean if you haven't notice I am the brightest flame in the school, are you sure you want to stand near the fire?"

Dave looked at Kurt like he was insane. He couldn't believe Kurt doubted that Dave would want to date him. Kurt who was beautiful, and brilliant, and amazing, and funny. He couldn't understand who wouldn't love Kurt. He had sang to Kurt, he had kissed Kurt himself, how could he not want to go out with him? His silence however seemed to make Kurt nervous.

"Maybe I should call you after school, so you can think it over a little more" Kurt said. Dave could hear the hurt in his voice as Kurt pushed his chair back gracefully and his hands were off his own. Dave got up too, blocking Dave from leaving.

"Kurt wait, I don't need a moment, I know my answer already and I do want to go out with you."

"Then why did you pause?" Kurt folded his arms across his chest, Dave took a deep breath.

"I was just thinking how crazy you are for even asking me that question" Dave said with a laugh, shaking his head like he was disappointed in Kurt.

"Excuse me? What you thought that obviously we would start dating and..." Dave held up his hand before cutting him off.

"No, I meant, asking me whether I would want to date you, whether I would mind because your flame burns so bright. I just thought it was a silly question, because who could possibly turn you down" Dave felt his face burn red as the last syllable left his lips. Kurt looked shocked and laughed. "I mean it. I mean, for god's sake Kurt when you kissed me I sang. If anyone would not want us to date it would be you."

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked, his eye brows furrowing. Dave sighed, he hadn't really wanted to bring the topic up, but he also didn't want to try and avoid it when Kurt was asking him.

"I hurt you Kurt, I ruined you life, how can you forgive me? How can you want to be with me when we hated each other so much? When I did so many horrible things to you? How can you look past that, and trust me to not hurt you? Aren't you worried? I know your friends are." He had heard Tina and Rachel talking in the Glee Room; he tried to forget what they said about his temper, and his B.O.

"Dave, do you know how far apart love and hate are?"

"Am I going to be quizzed on this later?"

"You're being quizzed on it now."

"Miles apart I guess."

"And I thought you were smart. Sorry no marks this time."

"Okay, then how far apart are they?"

"They are right next to each other, and if you aren't careful, you could slip right over the border and end up from one to the other." Kurt smiled, then looked at Dave seriously. "It's called redemption Dave, and it makes you stronger."

"What if I can't be redeemed? What if it's too dangerous?"

"Dave come with me" Kurt said, grabbing Dave's hand.

"Where are we going?" Dave asked a little worried.

"Do you trust me?"

"Sure Aladdin." Kurt let go so Dave could use his crutches, but in Dave's mind he imagined them running down the halls together, holding hands, Kurt leading him to Wonderland.


	62. Chapter 62

_**(A.N: Am I really doing this? Really. Why am I doing this? Okay so I have received quite a few e-mails from this site asking me to continue or finish this fiction. Well to be honest I was ready to completely never do anything with it ever again. I honestly didn't like what I was coming up with and I had lost all faith in my writing and just, you know...stuff. However...since I am still getting e-mail about this (WHY DO YOU GUYS LIKE THIS SO MUCH! WHAT DID I DO! IS THIS FANFICTION CRACK OR SOMETHING!). Anyway I decided to give you a better (or different) ending that isn't just "and they ran into the sunset the end". However...what the hell did they do to Karofsky. Seriously that was the lamest explanation ever. Why is it that people in Glee seem to just leave their schools when they have issues. )**_

Kurt smiled at Dave. A smile more genuine then when he was watching Funny girl on DVD. He watched Dave squirm uncomfortably in the spotlight as Finn and Puck pushed him into a chair, facing the glee club.

"What is this, a trial?" Kurt rolled his eyes but refused to stop smiling.

"Whenever we have something to say in Glee club that we really need to go through someone's thick head we sing it to them. I want to make sure you hear me loud and clear."

"_In spite of all the danger. In spite of all that may be. I'll do anything for you, anything you want me to. If you'll be true to me. In spite of all the heart ache. That you made for me. I'll do anything for you, anything you want me to. If you'll be true to me. I'll look after you. Like I never done before. I'll keep all the others. From knocking at your door. In spite of all the danger, in spite of all the may be. I'll do anything for you, anything you want me to. If you'll be true to me. In spite of all the heartache. That you made for me. I'll do anything for you. Anything you want me to. If you'll be true to me. I'll do anything for you, anything you want me to, if you'll be true to me."_

Kurt looked Dave straight in the eyes. He knew the others were cheering for him. Telling him how great he was, but in this moment it didn't matter. Their praise didn't matter to him. All that mattered was that the message had gotten through to Dave.

Dave didn't clap for him. Seemed void of any emotion. Kurt wondered what was going on in his mind. He wanted to ask, but the next words had to come from him. Instead he just took in a quivering breath, and waited.

Seconds seemed to run into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days. Kurt was sure he was going to pass out before he got a response from Dave. Then finally, his voice broke their own personal silence.

"I would be true to you. I mean, I will. I will be true to you. I could never be anything but true to you."

"Do you get it now Dave. Do you understand now?" Kurt walked close to him, bent down, and got so close that their noses almost touched. He could feel the heat from Dave's face.

"I...I think so, but why?"

"I don't know. You've just entered my heart. Now, I get to be a knight in shining armour. Never thought I'd be one of those. I really am, willing to do anything for you. If you'll take me Dave. If you'll go out with me."

"Well, I broke it; I might as well buy it." Kurt hit Dave lightly on the head. It wasn't the most romantic thing to say. It wasn't perfect, but neither were they. That's what Kurt liked about them. They were like the trashy soap opera couples that he loved so much. There was drama, there was sadness, but underneath it all there was passion, and there, way deep, at the core, was his own little heaven.


End file.
